If Your Bike Could Talk?

tchak attack said:

If your bike could talk what would it say to you!? Mine would say "ride me, ride me fast and hard you 6'8" 210 pound athletic stud you!!!!!!!!!!🙂

Mine say's "lets get out of the driveway and out on the road so we can get up some speed..... Oh, we are out on the road, never mind"! "I guess your are doing your best".

All in French of course.

And what do you mean if your bike could talk. Yours doesn't?

mine just tells me how good i look

Here's an couple of quotes from a trip report I wrote last year after a tour across the Japan Alps:

Quoted post said:

my planned route would involve an ascent of over 1000m over snowy mountains (teeming with snowboarders from what I could gather), and an extra 30 or so km. I was keen, but bike told me to bugger off, and why wasn't he getting any noodles?

and

Quoted post said:

But, we were glad to be there, having ridden coast to coast (or,
as bike reminded me, he had ridden coast to coast, all I had done was sit my
lazy [censored] on his back for a week).

My bike is clearly a whinging [censored]. I got a new bike that doesn't talk. Much. 😄

tchak attack said:

If your bike could talk what would it say to you!? Mine would say "ride me, ride me fast and hard you 6'8" 210 pound athletic stud you!!!!!!!!!!🙂

Mine would say...."YOU WEIGH HOW MUCH? How many spokes you givin me again? 130kg of human vs 6.8kg of bike....on ya knees boy, im riding you!"

My bike speaks Japanese. Since I can only understand maybe 50% of what it says, I mostly try to ignore it. It has been known to ask about the current baseball score (loves the Goddamn Tokyo Giants) and when it gets to ride (again) to the Asahi beer factory.

I blame my alcoholism on the bike.

It also (ever-so-gently) reminds me that `brocolli and beans are GASSY!` and also, `no vegetarian EVER won a TDF!`...

😠 and I still let it sleep inside...

"Please wash and lubricate me."

Mine emits utterances of profanity for all the abuse I give it...but then begs for more constantly (damn rain😠 )

"Are we there yet?"

Fixey said:

Mine would say...."YOU WEIGH HOW MUCH? How many spokes you givin me again? 130kg of human vs 6.8kg of bike....on ya knees boy, im riding you!"

Has your bike been talking to mine?

In the store my Trek spoke to me.

"buy me, buy me, buy me"😄

and I did.

tchak attack said:

If your bike could talk what would it say to you!? Mine would say "ride me, ride me fast and hard you 6'8" 210 pound athletic stud you!!!!!!!!!!🙂

Mine would probably say, "Good gawd! How much do you freakin' weigh? Get the fock off my freakin' back you fat loser! My tires are gonna pop!" :o

"please wash your knicks..."

"It looks bigger from this angle"