How to make an ugly bike

Thomas Reynolds said:

I am interested in making a bike ugly because I often ride a bike to the store or the 7-11 and
lock it up outside. While I am in the store I am always paranoid that someone will steal my bike.

So I got this old GT hardtail mountain bike for free and have spent $50 fixing it up. It is
almost finished and I want to make it functional, but as ugly as possible so no one will want to
steal it.

I have painted the frame several different colors and plan on gluing a piece of shag carpetting to
the top tube. I've considered painting the rims and tires also.

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Duck tape handlebar grips (even more horrendous on drop bars). Unfortunately it makes them rather
uncomfortable if you use less than 10 layers. Rusty steel mudguards (may be called fenders where you
live) and chain guard. More Duck tape (grey instead of black this time) to protect the paintwork
where you know it will get bashed. Plastic bag over the saddle. More Duck tape to make sure the
plastic bag doesn't come off. Barbie bell. Cover the pink bits of the Barbie bell with (you guessed
it) Duck tape. Paint the rusty bits with red oxide primer. Cover with final top coat of Duck tape.

That ought to do it.

I have no connection with either manufacturers or resellers of Duck tape. Neither has my bike been
stolen in London (UK).

--
Jim Price

jimprice.dsl.pipex.comjimprice.dsl.pipex.comOpen ↗

Conscientious objection is hard work in an economic war.

Just go to Walmart and buy a new one. or use theirs for examples, especially the paint jobs hoping
to make the bike look expensive, :<😉

"Thomas Reynolds" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I am interested in making a bike ugly because I often ride a bike to the store or the 7-11 and
lock it up outside. While I am in the store I am always paranoid that someone will steal my bike.

So I got this old GT hardtail mountain bike for free and have spent $50 fixing it up. It is
almost finished and I want to make it functional, but as ugly as possible so no one will want to
steal it.

I have painted the frame several different colors and plan on gluing a piece of shag carpetting to
the top tube. I've considered painting the rims and tires also.

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Tom

"Thomas Reynolds" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I am interested in making a bike ugly because I often ride a bike to the store or the 7-11 and
lock it up outside. ... I have painted the frame several different colors and plan on gluing a
piece of shag carpetting to the top tube. I've considered painting the rims and tires also.

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Put a milk crate on the back. Very handy for carrying stuff back from the store, and makes almost
any bike look worthless.

One fellow club member put on slime green paint (the stuff that wears off -- used for marking the
annual fundraiser ride).

28 Jul 2003 15:53:52 -0700, <[email hidden]>, [email hidden]

(Thomas Reynolds) said:

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Tom

Put a ratty saddle on it.

A fixed gear and the tiniest clipless pedals supposedly deters, or failing that, at least hampers,
opportunistic thievery.
--
zk

A messenger's bike I saw won the ugly contest as far as I'm concerned. He had some soft spongy
material for handgrips and they looked positively diseased ... which might be particularly effective
in Toronto over the past few SARS stricken months. Thank gosh that seems to be over.

But you can't rely on ugly. Some thieves steal bikes forconvenient transportation. Doesn't matter if
it's any good, it's always easier than walking. And as they're only stealing for this ride, it
doesn't matter how distinctive you make it.

But you might be able to leave your tire-painted, carpet-glued wonder longer than most. Just make
sure it's locked next to less ugly, easier to steal bikes and you should be able to leave that bike
to your grandchildren.

You don't always have to ride [censored]. I often ride a $2k CDN/$1.5k US bike to work but the bike rack
is only visible to people with authorized business in my building and the area is surveyed by
security cameras and guards.

If I have to park downtown I bring a Trek 800, a cheap crappy heavyweight, but upgraded so it
actually works smooth as silk... if you have the muscle power to hump it up hills. It's "uglied"
with lots of reflective tape, fenders, front and rear racks, smooth tires and even mud flaps. No
self-respecting thief would be caught dead on it but if they try, the NY Ulock will slow them down.

By mistake I brought my good commuter to a mid town bar for a work function. I brought it in, within
10 feet of me and locked it. Any complaints and I would have left. No one complained so we enjoyed
the evening and the bar enjoyed our money.

Doug Toronto

"Thomas Reynolds" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I am interested in making a bike ugly because I often ride a bike to the store or the 7-11 and
lock it up outside. While I am in the store I am always paranoid that someone will steal my bike.

So I got this old GT hardtail mountain bike for free and have spent $50 fixing it up. It is
almost finished and I want to make it functional, but as ugly as possible so no one will want to
steal it.

I have painted the frame several different colors and plan on gluing a piece of shag carpetting to
the top tube. I've considered painting the rims and tires also.

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Tom

"Thomas Reynolds" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I am interested in making a bike ugly because I often ride a bike to the store or the 7-11 and
lock it up outside. While I am in the store I am always paranoid that someone will steal my bike.

So I got this old GT hardtail mountain bike for free and have spent $50 fixing it up. It is
almost finished and I want to make it functional, but as ugly as possible so no one will want to
steal it.

I have painted the frame several different colors and plan on gluing a piece of shag carpetting to
the top tube. I've considered painting the rims and tires also.

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Tom

Rusty chain. But this makes actual riding tough No QR's. Nuts only Fixed gear. Watch the crash when
he tries to ride off.

Bring it inside, or at the very least, lean it against the front window where you can see it. I
bring my bike inside quite often. locked up, and it would be a very brazen thief to break the lock
and steal a beater in full view of the cashiers.

Some thefts are simply a matter of opportunity. And it doesn't matter what it looks like. I've seen
stolen 24" wheel girls Huffy's. badly rusted, no brakes, squeaking at each pedal revolution. Being
ridden by a 6' male teenager.

Pete

I wouldn't paint the tires. Three reasons:

1. Reduces tire grip on the road.

2. Most likely will crack and flake off fairly quickly as you ride.

3. If you use the wrong paint on the wrong tire, the chemicals in the paint may weaken the
tire wall.

[email hidden] (Thomas Reynolds) wrote in message
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Quoted message said:

I have painted the frame several different colors and plan on gluing a piece of shag carpetting to
the top tube. I've considered painting the rims and tires also.

painting the rims will compromise your braking ability. then you will crash. and YOU will be ugly.

-Luigi

You're all missing the point: Why not use a good lock- one that can't be defeated - like
Kryptonite's New York lock? Then you don't have to screw up the appearance of your bike. And it's
much easier to do.

Thomas Reynolds said:

I am interested in making a bike ugly because I often ride a bike to the store or the 7-11 and
lock it up outside. While I am in the store I am always paranoid that someone will steal my bike.

So I got this old GT hardtail mountain bike for free and have spent $50 fixing it up. It is
almost finished and I want to make it functional, but as ugly as possible so no one will want to
steal it.

I have painted the frame several different colors and plan on gluing a piece of shag carpetting to
the top tube. I've considered painting the rims and tires also.

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Tom

Hang a Fred-looking phoney California license plate on the back of it that says "Fabrizio".

Thomas Reynolds said:

I have painted the frame several different colors and plan on gluing a piece of shag carpetting to
the top tube. I've considered painting the rims and tires also.

Those treatments may make it ugly, but it would be so garish and unique, many would be attracted to
it, especially the types that would steal it.

Quoted message said:

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Rust, and lots of it. Broken cable housings. Torn saddle. Tires with nylon showing through. Missing
spokes. Bent spokes. Masking tape and duct tape, especially for grips. Bent/broken pedals.

And don't forget the rust.

Quoted message said:

Tom

--
Rick Onanian

Zoot Katz said:

A fixed gear and the tiniest clipless pedals supposedly deters, or failing that, at least hampers,
opportunistic thievery.

m2racer Orbs would definately deter a theif -- somebody would have to bring pedals, or carry the
bike away. I can't imagine riding them in sneakers.. m2racer.comproducts.phpOpen ↗

--
Rick Onanian

Jeff said:

I wouldn't paint the tires. Three reasons:
1. Reduces tire grip on the road.

Probably not horribly, especially for something used at convenience-store speeds.

Quoted message said:

2. Most likely will crack and flake off fairly quickly as you ride.

Thereby contributing to ugliness.

Quoted message said:

3. If you use the wrong paint on the wrong tire, the chemicals in the paint may weaken the tire
wall.

See my answer to #1.

--
Rick Onanian

"Gary Smiley" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

You're all missing the point: Why not use a good lock- one that can't be defeated - like
Kryptonite's New York lock? Then you don't have to screw up the appearance of your bike. And it's
much easier to do.

No such thing as a lock that cannot be defeated. If you can't break the lock, break what it is
locked to.

An attractive bike, in the right (wrong) place, day after day...will get stolen eventually.

Pete

"Rick Onanian" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Zoot Katz said:

A fixed gear and the tiniest clipless pedals supposedly deters, or failing that, at least
hampers, opportunistic thievery.

m2racer Orbs would definately deter a theif -- somebody would have to bring pedals, or carry the
bike away. I can't imagine riding them in sneakers.. m2racer.comproducts.phpOpen ↗

Shee-it. I've seen fools riding bikes with *no* pedals, but merely spindles. And that was a bike
to ride, instead of sell. A semi-serious thief will just toss it in the back of a pickup truck,
and be off.

Pete

Quoted message said:

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly? Tom

Put a CB antenna on it. And some big wire baskets. And maybe some pix of politicians, maybe bumper
stickers. And a small license plate. Or, you could transform it into a work of art . . . sort of
like those "art cars" where they paint 'em wacky colors and glue trashcan lids and shells and cattle
horns and pots and pans on 'em. Oh yah . . . common theives are dime a dozen, art theives are pretty
hard to come by. Plus no one is going to steal a bike that'll be real easy to spot by cops on patrol
("Calling all cars, calling all cars, be on the lookout for a stolen bicycle, has sea shells
superglued all over"😉 . . . Justa thought . . . --Tock

(Thomas Reynolds) said:

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Tom

Training wheels. A front basket with a pitbull sitting in it.

And Grateful Dead stickers. Lots. It doesn't get any uglier....

Thomas Reynolds said:

I am interested in making a bike ugly because I often ride a bike to the store or the 7-11 and
lock it up outside. While I am in the store I am always paranoid that someone will steal my bike.

[snip]

Quoted message said:

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Tom

I'd suggest getting a set of locking skewers and one of the Kryptonite New York locks. That way, you
can lock the bike to pretty much anything through any of the frame tubes and not worry about getting
your wheels nicked. Granted, as Pete says elsewhere on this thread, a determined and well-equipped
thief could, given time, make off with the bike anyway by cutting through what you've locked it to.
But most thieves looking to steal a bike aren't that well-equipped, nor determined, and certainly
don't have that much time.

(FWIW, a British motorcycling magazine attempted to break the Krypto NY chain lock and could do so
only with an acetylene torch. I took the U-lock version on a three week trip to Holland, bike theft
capital of Europe, and had no problems.)

Trent

"Thomas Reynolds" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I am interested in making a bike ugly because I often ride a bike to the store or the 7-11 and
lock it up outside. While I am in the store I am always paranoid that someone will steal my bike.

Any more ideas on how to make the bike ugly?

Paint it Celeste.