How should I kill myself...

I haven't been around these boards in a few weeks, but what the hell has happened here??!! The name of this forum simply needs to be changed to "The Poll Forum".

Not to threadjack or anything, but the tree shredder method seems to be a pretty popular way of entering the afterlife. I remember reading about more than a few "Asplundh" deaths in the past. I'll try to find some of the articles, but they included one guy who ran up to a shredder, tossed his wallet aside (presumably so they could identify the remains), and dove in.

cydewaze said:

Not to threadjack or anything, but the tree shredder method seems to be a pretty popular way of entering the afterlife. I remember reading about more than a few "Asplundh" deaths in the past. I'll try to find some of the articles, but they included one guy who ran up to a shredder, tossed his wallet aside (presumably so they could identify the remains), and dove in.

Hmmm I would have guessed most of them would have been accidental. I guess if your motivation for suicide is to get back at someone that would be more memorable than blowing your head off with a gun. Wow this is getting dark...I think I will go read more polls.

Strange it is like the most gruesome deaths are the most popular as evidenced by the fact that reading polls until death has the most votes followed closely by jumping into a tree shredder... For the record I prefer jumping into the shredder

wilmar13 said:

I guess if your motivation for suicide is to get back at someone that would be more memorable than blowing your head off with a gun.

It all depends on what you aim the outlet of the shredder at... make a pretty good mess of windows...

Batesy said:

It all depends on what you aim the outlet of the shredder at... make a pretty good mess of windows...

Yeah that is what I meant... I had a freind in high school that blew his head off with a 12 gauge in front of his girlfreind after she left him for another guy... not that I am making light of it, but if he would have thrown himself into a tree shredder with the exhaust aimed at her open convertable he may have gotten a little more effect (not that he needed it as I am sure it was very traumatic as is).

wilmar13 said:

... For the record I prefer jumping into the shredder

Too bad my ex doesn't! 😉

wilmar13 said:

These polls have driven me to the edge...

are you dead yet?...this was posted yesterday...

hurry up man and just end it....

MountainPro said:

are you dead yet?...this was posted yesterday...

hurry up man and just end it....

Looks like that might be it. Too bad we can't find out how he went out.

Orange Fish said:

Looks like that might be it. Too bad we can't find out how he went out.

Sorry as are most suicide threats it was really only a cry for help. I am feeling much better now 😄

wilmar13 said:

Sorry as are most suicide threats it was really only a cry for help. I am feeling much better now 😄

I'm starting a Polling support group for those of us addicted to polls. I think I'll post a poll to see when the best time to meet would be. 😄

I was going to call dibs on any road bikes, 55-56cm, that wilmar13 had, but, sadly,...I mean happily, he's feeling much better now.

wilmar13 said:

most suicide threats it was really only a cry for help

glad we could be of help...

wilmar13 said:

These polls have driven me to the edge...

I always thought that it would be excellent to hire several prostitutes(Sexicutioners) to more or less drain your vital life forces from you until death and then your body could be burned on a small boat like a Viking.
Then again I love drama and during the process I might fell that life is worth living.

jhuskey said:

I always thought that it would be excellent to hire several prostitutes(Sexicutioners) to more or less drain your vital life forces from you until death and then your body could be burned on a small boat like a Viking.

"Sexicutioners"? Man, what a concept. One wouldn't realize whether he's coming or going - pun intended. This thread is quite sick, twisted, dark and evil which is why I like it so.

There was a movie I saw in the 70s(?) about a Viking warrior who was in a funeral pyre in the ending - it was a very moving and dignified way of paying final respects.

I was in a group ride led by Greg LeMond last Saturday sponsored by Bicycle Vilage in Boulder, Colorado, USA and crashed! First time ever - talk about embarrasment, not to mention the pain of kissing concrete. Anyway, I got banged up pretty good which leads me to submit, as cyclists, if we needed to terminate ourselves, wouldn't we want to go out in some sort of spectacular crash on some beautiful mountain pass somewhere? Hmmmm, I see a poll brewing here: If you were going to check out, which mountain pass would you select for your kamikaze run?

Be well my brothers!

Long Rider said:

Anyway, I got banged up pretty good which leads me to submit, as cyclists, if we needed to terminate ourselves, wouldn't we want to go out in some sort of spectacular crash on some beautiful mountain pass somewhere? Hmmmm, I see a poll brewing here: If you were going to check out, which mountain pass would you select for your kamikaze run?

Be well my brothers!

I for one would prefer the method Huskey suggests. If I could edit the poll I would add that as an option and venture a guess that it would soon be the most popular response (at least if the question was changed to method YOU would most prefer). I love cycling but there is no way I would rather go out on an epic ride over being ravaged by a group of beautiful (or not) women until death and then burned on an ornamental pyre if death actually did occur (my stamina is pretty good 😉 ...

Long Rider said:

"Sexicutioners"? Man, what a concept. One wouldn't realize whether he's coming or going - pun intended. This thread is quite sick, twisted, dark and evil which is why I like it so.

There was a movie I saw in the 70s(?) about a Viking warrior who was in a funeral pyre in the ending - it was a very moving and dignified way of paying final respects.

I was in a group ride led by Greg LeMond last Saturday sponsored by Bicycle Vilage in Boulder, Colorado, USA and crashed! First time ever - talk about embarrasment, not to mention the pain of kissing concrete. Anyway, I got banged up pretty good which leads me to submit, as cyclists, if we needed to terminate ourselves, wouldn't we want to go out in some sort of spectacular crash on some beautiful mountain pass somewhere? Hmmmm, I see a poll brewing here: If you were going to check out, which mountain pass would you select for your kamikaze run?

Be well my brothers!

I was actually thinking of the "coming and going" at the same time method. As far as crashes I have had a couple of good ones both cause by stupid moves on my part.
The bad thing about all these options is the commonality in them "death".
Another option might be to drink yourself to death. Not a quick death but you get to be a burden and aggravate the hell out of people you hate in the process.

Riding a bike off a cliff and into a shredder sounds like the way to go. 😉

Bikelux said:

Riding a bike off a cliff and into a shredder sounds like the way to go. 😉

OK but you still need to incorporate the sexecutioners somehow.