Help for a Newbie rider

Sean said:

After knee surgery I've given up running and turned to biking and
realize I need the help of you experienced riders.

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

I've figured out pretty quickly that when some serious cleavage is
coming towards me I stand up and slow to a glide so I can get the
longest and best view at her rack. But what about other situations?

When following from behind, how long is it appropriate to check out
her ass before it's too obvious. Is it better to wait for an incline
so she'll have to raise up and give you a better view?

What about a sweet looking jogger. Can you feign exhaustion and slow
down long enough to check out a joggers ass without being too obvious?

And what about glancing at the jogger's rack as your ride by? Any
safety concerns there?

I know with all the guys posting in this group I'll get plenty of
advice so thanks in advance.

Any Lesbo riders feel free to chime in too. In this situation, we're
on the same team.

How'd they do a bike fit on a Neanderthal like you? Special knuckle guards?

Sean said:

After knee surgery I've given up running and turned to biking and
realize I need the help of you experienced riders.

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

The most important thing is to make sure you don't hit or run into
anything or anyone, while checking out anyone :-;

Sean <none> wrote in news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

After knee surgery I've given up running and turned to biking and
realize I need the help of you experienced riders.

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

I've figured out pretty quickly that when some serious cleavage is
coming towards me I stand up and slow to a glide so I can get the
longest and best view at her rack. But what about other situations?

You call that a technique? You're getting only 4 or 5 seconds out of
something that could stretch to 10 minutes. You need to practice the
Swiss Bicycle Corps technique for falling off a bike while not actually
killing yourself. Pick your situation so it's just you on your side
with her approaching. Like her? Okay, FALL! You get the full cleavage
treatment while she's "helping" to pick you up; if you can pretend
unconciousness, you might even get some CPR out of the deal. Rememeber,
anyone trading a good drag coefficient in order to display cleavage
realy wants the cleavage appreciated.

Quoted message said:

When following from behind, how long is it appropriate to check out
her ass before it's too obvious. Is it better to wait for an incline
so she'll have to raise up and give you a better view?

You have two choices here. This is the one if you notice a pump or
toolkit attacheched to the bike. You can give it five seconds, pass
after calling out so she can hear your deep, manly voice and appreciate
your dedication to safety. Ride up ahead about half a mile and turn the
bike upside down and look like you're trying to reconnect pieces of your
chain with dental floss. She'll absolutely stop and help, and you can
offer to buy her dinner in appreciation. Second choice is to make sure
you've replaced your horn with an amplified sound sampler. Have "fat
bottomed girls" as one of your samples, and play it as you pass.
Discretely look behind you as you pass and see if you get a smile, and
take it from there.

Quoted message said:

What about a sweet looking jogger. Can you feign exhaustion and slow
down long enough to check out a joggers ass without being too obvious?

No. Bikers and joggers, it's like mimes and clowns.

Quoted message said:

And what about glancing at the jogger's rack as your ride by? Any
safety concerns there?

Helmet mirror can have the whole rack in view without your being
obvious.

Remember, it's all planning. You want to have a strategy ready in
advance, execute it, and move on. You never want to risk casually
meeting a fellow cyclist, because that might lead to a relationship or
something that could keep you from racking up cleavage points.

Quoted message said:

I know with all the guys posting in this group I'll get plenty of
advice so thanks in advance.

Any Lesbo riders feel free to chime in too. In this situation, we're
on the same team.

Thanks
Sean

"Sean" <none> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

After knee surgery I've given up running and turned to biking and
realize I need the help of you experienced riders.

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

I've figured out pretty quickly that when some serious cleavage is
coming towards me I stand up and slow to a glide so I can get the
longest and best view at her rack. But what about other situations?

When following from behind, how long is it appropriate to check out
her ass before it's too obvious. Is it better to wait for an incline
so she'll have to raise up and give you a better view?

What about a sweet looking jogger. Can you feign exhaustion and slow
down long enough to check out a joggers ass without being too obvious?

And what about glancing at the jogger's rack as your ride by? Any
safety concerns there?

I know with all the guys posting in this group I'll get plenty of
advice so thanks in advance.

Any Lesbo riders feel free to chime in too. In this situation, we're
on the same team.

Thanks
Sean

haha. santa monica pier to palos verdes? i used to ride that route! more
silicone than you could ever need all right before your eyes! that route is
designed for checking out cleavage. if you try to be discreet your a
tourist! just watch the experts, lik the guy who roller skates backwards
serenading the ladies with his guitar (battery-powered amp strapped to
back).
yar.

In article <[email hidden]>,

Sean none said:

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

I just talk to them, or better yet, I let them chat me up.
"Checking them out" is a 2-way street. If you're just gonna
look at women without conversing with them, might as well just
look at pictures. Of course, one woman in particular has
already ruined me for all the others, but a little occasional
social interaction is nice.

cheers,
Tom

--
-- Nothing is safe from me.
Above address is just a spam midden.
I'm really at: tkeats [curlicue] vcn [point] bc [point] ca

Bill Sornson said:

Sean said:

After knee surgery I've given up running and turned to biking and
realize I need the help of you experienced riders.

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

I've figured out pretty quickly that when some serious cleavage is
coming towards me I stand up and slow to a glide so I can get the
longest and best view at her rack. But what about other situations?

When following from behind, how long is it appropriate to check out
her ass before it's too obvious. Is it better to wait for an incline
so she'll have to raise up and give you a better view?

What about a sweet looking jogger. Can you feign exhaustion and slow
down long enough to check out a joggers ass without being too obvious?

And what about glancing at the jogger's rack as your ride by? Any
safety concerns there?

I know with all the guys posting in this group I'll get plenty of
advice so thanks in advance.

Any Lesbo riders feel free to chime in too. In this situation, we're
on the same team.

How'd they do a bike fit on a Neanderthal like you? Special knuckle guards?

Shouldn't you be spending your time in the Gay newsgroups? Maybe I
should have specified for responses from Hetero guys only.

Geeze.

Sean

andy gee said:

Sean <none> wrote in news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

After knee surgery I've given up running and turned to biking and
realize I need the help of you experienced riders.

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

I've figured out pretty quickly that when some serious cleavage is
coming towards me I stand up and slow to a glide so I can get the
longest and best view at her rack. But what about other situations?

You call that a technique? You're getting only 4 or 5 seconds out of
something that could stretch to 10 minutes. You need to practice the
Swiss Bicycle Corps technique for falling off a bike while not actually
killing yourself. Pick your situation so it's just you on your side
with her approaching. Like her? Okay, FALL! You get the full cleavage
treatment while she's "helping" to pick you up; if you can pretend
unconciousness, you might even get some CPR out of the deal. Rememeber,
anyone trading a good drag coefficient in order to display cleavage
realy wants the cleavage appreciated.

Nahhh, I'm just now recovering from knee surgery so no falls, fake or
otherwise. Plus, I'm not some cycle weanie. I could never pull off the
"help me, I'm such a wimp that I need a chick to help me up" act like
I'm sure you could.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

When following from behind, how long is it appropriate to check out
her ass before it's too obvious. Is it better to wait for an incline
so she'll have to raise up and give you a better view?

You have two choices here. This is the one if you notice a pump or
toolkit attacheched to the bike. You can give it five seconds, pass
after calling out so she can hear your deep, manly voice and appreciate
your dedication to safety. Ride up ahead about half a mile and turn the
bike upside down and look like you're trying to reconnect pieces of your
chain with dental floss. She'll absolutely stop and help, and you can
offer to buy her dinner in appreciation. Second choice is to make sure
you've replaced your horn with an amplified sound sampler. Have "fat
bottomed girls" as one of your samples, and play it as you pass.
Discretely look behind you as you pass and see if you get a smile, and
take it from there.

Buy her dinner???? I'd rather skip straight to the blow job. Are cycle
chicks as [censored] as they look?

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

What about a sweet looking jogger. Can you feign exhaustion and slow
down long enough to check out a joggers ass without being too obvious?

No. Bikers and joggers, it's like mimes and clowns.

You really need to be more open minded. I guess I'm not surprised
though. All you tree hugging liberals here who preach "diversity and
tolerance" but when it comes right down to it you look down on a mere
jogger.

I believe in true diversity. Any ass has the potential to be a good
ass.

As long as it's a good ass, that is.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

And what about glancing at the jogger's rack as your ride by? Any
safety concerns there?

Helmet mirror can have the whole rack in view without your being
obvious.

Finally, a good idea. Thanks

Quoted message said:

Remember, it's all planning. You want to have a strategy ready in
advance, execute it, and move on. You never want to risk casually
meeting a fellow cyclist, because that might lead to a relationship or
something that could keep you from racking up cleavage points.

Another excellent point.

Thanks again,
Sean

On Mon, 29 Aug 2005 23:53:38 -0700, [email hidden] (Tom Keats)

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Sean none said:

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

I just talk to them, or better yet, I let them chat me up.
"Checking them out" is a 2-way street. If you're just gonna
look at women without conversing with them, might as well just
look at pictures. Of course, one woman in particular has
already ruined me for all the others, but a little occasional
social interaction is nice.

Please oh please Mr Biking Casanova, please expand on this technique.

I'd really like to hear how you let them "chat you up" you stud you,
in the less than 1 second you're close eneough to converse as you
speed by in opposite directions.

Oh, if only I was as studly as you. Then all cycle chicks would
"chat me up" even if it's only for less that 1 second at a time.

Sean

Lil' Sean said:

Bill Sornson said:

9th Grader Sean said:

After knee surgery I've given up running and turned to biking and
realize I need the help of you experienced riders.

I am fortunate enough to ride in an area where beaucoup babes also
ride and I'm having trouble with my technique for checking them out
while speeding by.

I've figured out pretty quickly that when some serious cleavage is
coming towards me I stand up and slow to a glide so I can get the
longest and best view at her rack. But what about other situations?

When following from behind, how long is it appropriate to check out
her ass before it's too obvious. Is it better to wait for an incline
so she'll have to raise up and give you a better view?

What about a sweet looking jogger. Can you feign exhaustion and slow
down long enough to check out a joggers ass without being too
obvious?

And what about glancing at the jogger's rack as your ride by? Any
safety concerns there?

I know with all the guys posting in this group I'll get plenty of
advice so thanks in advance.

Any Lesbo riders feel free to chime in too. In this situation, we're
on the same team.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

How'd they do a bike fit on a Neanderthal like you? Special knuckle
guards?

Quoted message said:

Shouldn't you be spending your time in the Gay newsgroups? Maybe I
should have specified for responses from Hetero guys only.

Geeze.

Is that where your "Lesbo" fans hang out? LOL

Ask your parents for a bigger allowance; you need to buy a clue.

Bill "I don't do yoga for the stretching, but I wouldn't ask a yoga
newsgroup how to gawk at women" S.

In article <[email hidden]>,

Sean none said:

Please oh please Mr Biking Casanova, please expand on this technique.

I'd really like to hear how you let them "chat you up" you stud you,
in the less than 1 second you're close eneough to converse as you
speed by in opposite directions.

They pull U-turns and then I let them catch up to me.

Quoted message said:

Oh, if only I was as studly as you. Then all cycle chicks would
"chat me up" even if it's only for less that 1 second at a time.

You've either got it, or ya don't.

cheers,
Tom

--
-- Nothing is safe from me.
Above address is just a spam midden.
I'm really at: tkeats [curlicue] vcn [point] bc [point] ca

On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 11:31:21 -0700, [email hidden] (Tom Keats)

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Sean none said:

Please oh please Mr Biking Casanova, please expand on this technique.

I'd really like to hear how you let them "chat you up" you stud you,
in the less than 1 second you're close eneough to converse as you
speed by in opposite directions.

They pull U-turns and then I let them catch up to me.

I suspect that the only thing being pulled near you is your Pud.

Keep dreaming Tommie Boy.

Sean

"Tom Keats" wrote: (clip) They pull U-turns and then I let them catch up to
me.(clip)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Is THAT what they're doing? And I thought they were wanting to draft me, or
something, and I acted resentful.

BTW, Sean has my wireless trollometer reading overload. Come on, Sean, say
something cute and mean! I can handle it.

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 11:31:21 -0700, <[email hidden]>,

(Tom Keats) said:

Quoted message said:

Oh, if only I was as studly as you. Then all cycle chicks would
"chat me up" even if it's only for less that 1 second at a time.

You've either got it, or ya don't.

It's been my experience that fenders are babe magnets.
--
zk

In article <[email hidden]>,

Sean none said:

Quoted message said:

They pull U-turns and then I let them catch up to me.

I suspect that the only thing being pulled near you is your Pud.

Keep dreaming Tommie Boy.

I guess you only have your own experience by which to relate.
After all, you're the one who's only looking at 'em.

Tell ya what, here's a tip: try not to scare 'em off.

cheers,
Tom

--
-- Nothing is safe from me.
Above address is just a spam midden.
I'm really at: tkeats [curlicue] vcn [point] bc [point] ca

In article <[email hidden]>,

Zoot Katz said:

It's been my experience that fenders are babe magnets.

My non-studly horn has drawn some compliments too.

cheers,
Tom

--
-- Nothing is safe from me.
Above address is just a spam midden.
I'm really at: tkeats [curlicue] vcn [point] bc [point] ca

Zoot Katz said:

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 11:31:21 -0700, <[email hidden]>,

(Tom Keats) said:

Quoted message said:

Oh, if only I was as studly as you. Then all cycle chicks would
"chat me up" even if it's only for less that 1 second at a time.

You've either got it, or ya don't.

It's been my experience that fenders are babe magnets.

Now are we talking about the standard SKS black fenders or might
I be wise to upgrade to wood or copper ones? I've been contemplating
picking up some sheet copper and having a go at it it... this might
be what tips me over the edge.

--
Dane Jackson - z u v e m b i @ u n i x b i g o t s . o r g
My uncle was the town drunk -- and we lived in Chicago.
-- George Gobel

In article <[email hidden]>,

Leo Lichtman said:

BTW, Sean has my wireless trollometer reading overload.

I just figure him for some kid who's too shy or scared to
approach women and really converse with them, so has to
admire them from afar.

cheers,
Tom

--
-- Nothing is safe from me.
Above address is just a spam midden.
I'm really at: tkeats [curlicue] vcn [point] bc [point] ca

Tom Keats said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Leo Lichtman said:

BTW, Sean has my wireless trollometer reading overload.

I just figure him for some kid who's too shy or scared to
approach women and really converse with them, so has to
admire them from afar.

I think he /wants/ to admire women, but...

The boy has issues.

Bill "just be gay, Sean, your mom will still love you" S.

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 16:13:17 -0700,
<[email hidden]>, Dane Jackson <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

Zoot Katz said:

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 11:31:21 -0700, <[email hidden]>,

(Tom Keats) said:

> Oh, if only I was as studly as you. Then all cycle chicks would
> "chat me up" even if it's only for less that 1 second at a time.

You've either got it, or ya don't.

It's been my experience that fenders are babe magnets.

Now are we talking about the standard SKS black fenders or might
I be wise to upgrade to wood or copper ones? I've been contemplating
picking up some sheet copper and having a go at it it... this might
be what tips me over the edge.

I've not tried copper or wood so you're on your own there. Be careful.
I'd definitely not recommend them for a newbie.

FWIW, Planet Bike Freddy Fenders are preferred by many blondes. Some
red heads can't resist the narrow silver chromoplast SKS ones. Chrome
has universal babe appeal but a more sophisticated hottie would
appreciate 15 coats of pearlescent candy apple metalflake lacquer.
The whole effect can be ruined with the wrong mud-flap.
Shorty fenders are worse than no fenders at all.
--
zk