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Funny definitions

Started by swalia · · Last activity · 33 posts · 3,964 views

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Jokes
Published
10 February 2016
Last activity
6 June 2016
Original author
swalia
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  1. What's the definition of lawyer?
    The larval form of a politician.

  2. advertising: The art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. (Will Rogers)

  3. experience: The ability to repeat one's mistakes with ever-increasing confidence. (Patrick Hoyte)

  4. Politician n.Someone who shakes your hand befor an election and your confidence after it.

  5. password: Series of letters and numbers written on a post-it note and stuck on a monitor.

  6. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
    Will Rogers

  7. Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
    -
    Robin Williams

  8. life insurance: term (coined by the greatest marketer of all time) for a plan that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich

  9. Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact.

  10. I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.

  11. A leader is a dealer in hope.

    Napoleon Bonaparte

  12. Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact.

  13. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
    -
    Bob Hope

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