Nev Shea said:Joe Blow <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:
Quoted message said:Looking at the profile for tomorrows stage, they put a feed zone in
at 34Km of a 55Km race. Don't remember noticing one in previous TT of
Tours.
Though they don't show it on the map, the time trial routes always
pass a cafe where the riders must dismount, run in, eat a sandwich and
drink a cappuchino before continuing on course. This gives a true test
of their bicycle racing skills because eating is always a critical
part of their day, so the fastest at both pedaling and eating will
win.
NS
Today's racers are soft. In the old days, each racer was required to stop
at a brothel, haggle the price for a virgin, deflower her, and then carry
the bloody bed sheet over the rest of the course as proof. People still
talk about 1921, when Thierry Chenault de Raspieriennitienierrie was
leading by some 10 minutes over the legendary Claude Grandboote and
couldn't "find wood" at the Maison de Boomboom. Because of Chenault de
Raspieriennitienierrie's equipment malfunction, Grandboote, who was
legendary for his ability to get up the course, if you know what I mean,
made up enough time to take the yellow jersey even though he arrived behind
CdR and had to wait an extra 15 minutes while a second virgin was brought
in by taxi from Provence. Fearing he was in fact gay, a heartbroken CdR
later committed suicide while a group of doctors sang a weird song.
In the future, each racer will have to stop at an ethical suicide parlor,
be cloned, then killed, and have his or her clone finish the stage.
--
Bill Asher