Favorite group ride excuses

On 2004-05-27, supabonbon penned:

Quoted message said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic.

I blame every problem on the fact that I'm getting used to clipless. I
wonder how long I can keep that one up ...

It's true, though.

--
monique

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs. I shout them
down.

<snip>

I blame the Clinton administration.

Matt

"supabonbon" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs. I shout them
down.
The oppressing factors always revolve around my gruesome hangover,
buttressed by other complaints: I'm still getting over that cold from
4 months ago, I haven't yet lost winter weight, the unsubstantiated
fact that my lungs are too small for my body, etc.
I'm also well known for incriminating the healthy lifestyle of my
fellows. "Oh, yeah, well, sure, Mr.

Vegetarian-Got-10-Hours-of-Sleep-Last-Night-and-have-Freakisly-Long-Femurs..
..

Quoted message said:

uh... YEAH!"
This is all hollered from the back of the pack, of course. Let the
others lead. They obviously need to feel superior. Then, once
everybody's coasting to the end of the ride, I blast into full sprint.
I'll say, "Sorry, I was just feeling good, so I went with it. Just
stretching out the legs a bit." But in my mind I'll be thinking, "YES!
TAKE THAT!"
/scott

I have never liked group rides. 4 or 5 is ok, beyond that they're a mob.
I can't stand all the little stops so the stragglers can catch up.
Having done countless hours riding on my own, I like to go and not stop.
I must be getting old, grumpy and anti-social.

Sniffinvinyl
----------------
Remain sane, cycle your brains out . . .

On 2004-05-27, SniffinVinyl penned:

Quoted message said:

I have never liked group rides. 4 or 5 is ok, beyond that they're a
mob. I can't stand all the little stops so the stragglers can catch
up. Having done countless hours riding on my own, I like to go and
not stop. I must be getting old, grumpy and anti-social.

Well, speaking as a straggler, I'd rather not ride with someone who is
going to get frustrated waiting for me. It makes me feel like there's
an expectation I can't possibly satisfy. So definitely don't go on
group rides with people who can't keep up with you -- you'll just make
yourself and them miserable.

I did find a great jersey to warn people of my slowness, though,
whenever I get around to buying it:

http://www.teamestrogen.com/products.asp?pID=10261

--
monique

MattB said:

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs. I shout them
down.

<snip>

I blame the Clinton administration.

Matt

I blame PMS.

Penny

Monique Y. Mudama said:

Well, speaking as a straggler, I'd rather not ride with someone who is
going to get frustrated waiting for me.

I've been a straggler many times; at first it was both lack of skill and
poor conditioning, now its mostly the fact that at my age conditioning
disappears very quickly. I remember rides when I'd finally catch up, and
everyone would immediately start again - so the guy in the back never
gets a chance to catch his breath.

Usually I tend to be in the front these days (more a statement of my
riding buds' conditioning that my own). I make it a rule that whenever we
stop, the person in the BACK decides when we start up again.

That being said, I've only been on one really big group ride, and I
thought it was quite the cluster-[censored]. Riders were scattered all over the
place; stops were frequent (to make sure people didn't get lost); and the
newbie in the back (not me) was pretty much alone and riding all-out
nonstop, since no one let him take a break.

--
-BB-
To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)

MattB said:

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs. I shout them
down.

<snip>

I blame the Clinton administration.

LOL!

Here's a couple good recent Letterman 1-liners:

"President Bush's bike accident was a little different than
John Kerry's accident. See Bush fell when he tried to turn
too hard to the right, and Kerry fell 'cause he kept switching
gears." --David Letterman on the Late Show Monday night

"And then it seemed like a couple of weeks ago, John Kerry
also had a mishap on a bicycle, he fell off a bicycle. So you
have Kerry fell off a bike and Bush fell off a bicycle.
And you know, the only thing Clinton ever fell off of was
an intern." --David Letterman
--
Tom "nyuk nyuk nyuk" Purvis

"supabonbon" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs. I shout them
down.
The oppressing factors always revolve around my gruesome hangover,
buttressed by other complaints: I'm still getting over that cold from
4 months ago, I haven't yet lost winter weight, the unsubstantiated
fact that my lungs are too small for my body, etc.
I'm also well known for incriminating the healthy lifestyle of my
fellows. "Oh, yeah, well, sure, Mr.

Vegetarian-Got-10-Hours-of-Sleep-Last-Night-and-have-Freakisly-Long-Femurs..
..

Quoted message said:

uh... YEAH!"
This is all hollered from the back of the pack, of course. Let the
others lead. They obviously need to feel superior. Then, once
everybody's coasting to the end of the ride, I blast into full sprint.
I'll say, "Sorry, I was just feeling good, so I went with it. Just
stretching out the legs a bit." But in my mind I'll be thinking, "YES!
TAKE THAT!"
/scott

I just simply say, "I suck today", if my pals spnak me.

BB said:

Usually I tend to be in the front these days (more a statement of my
riding buds' conditioning that my own). I make it a rule that whenever
we stop, the person in the BACK decides when we start up again.

That would be nice. The guy at the back usually needs the rest the most.
😉 (Speaking from too recent experience.)

gabrielle

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic.

I just say "Hey, I'm slow." If people don't want to ride with me, they
don't have to. I usually have pretty good snacks though. 🙂

Best excuse I ever heard, though it was a climbing excuse: "I can't do
this, I just ate a corn dog."

gabrielle

gabrielle said:

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic.

I just say "Hey, I'm slow." If people don't want to ride with me,
they don't have to. I usually have pretty good snacks though. 🙂

gabrielle brings the **best** food...

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs. I shout them
down.
The oppressing factors always revolve around my gruesome hangover,
buttressed by other complaints: I'm still getting over that cold from
4 months ago, I haven't yet lost winter weight, the unsubstantiated
fact that my lungs are too small for my body, etc.
I'm also well known for incriminating the healthy lifestyle of my
fellows. "Oh, yeah, well, sure, Mr.
Vegetarian-Got-10-Hours-of-Sleep-Last-Night-and-have-Freakisly-Long-Femurs...
uh... YEAH!"
This is all hollered from the back of the pack, of course. Let the
others lead. They obviously need to feel superior. Then, once
everybody's coasting to the end of the ride, I blast into full sprint.
I'll say, "Sorry, I was just feeling good, so I went with it. Just
stretching out the legs a bit." But in my mind I'll be thinking, "YES!
TAKE THAT!"
/scott

Why can't anyone just say "damn, you(yall) are quick".

I have been using that one for over a year. I still fall because I
can't get out of those things......

Monique Y. Mudama said:

On 2004-05-27, supabonbon penned:

Quoted message said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic.

I blame every problem on the fact that I'm getting used to clipless. I
wonder how long I can keep that one up ...

It's true, though.

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs.

Dang it, I think my period just started, is the one I use most.
--
Slacker

"Monique Y. Mudama" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

On 2004-05-27, SniffinVinyl penned:

Quoted message said:

I have never liked group rides. 4 or 5 is ok, beyond that they're a
mob. I can't stand all the little stops so the stragglers can catch
up. Having done countless hours riding on my own, I like to go and
not stop. I must be getting old, grumpy and anti-social.

Well, speaking as a straggler, I'd rather not ride with someone who is
going to get frustrated waiting for me. It makes me feel like there's
an expectation I can't possibly satisfy. So definitely don't go on
group rides with people who can't keep up with you -- you'll just make
yourself and them miserable.

I did find a great jersey to warn people of my slowness, though,
whenever I get around to buying it:

http://www.teamestrogen.com/products.asp?pID=10261

--
monique

You're right Monique, there has to be some compatibility in a group, or
nobody will be happy. I have in the front but I have also been the straggler
so I know its not fun if you're on a long ride. I am 6'1", 200 lbs and some
of my pals are 5' 7", 150-160 so they bound up hills which tax me a bit
more, they comment that they wish they had their body and my legs, and off
they go again. Smart asses.

But one way or another its the constant stops that drive me crazy on group
rides.

Sniffinvinyl
----------------
Remain sane, cycle your brains out . . .

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic.

The best I've heard: "Boy, I guess those radiation treatments DID affect my
lung capacity."

We kinda had to give that to him.

Tom

Slacker said:

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs.

Dang it, I think my period just started, is the one I use most.

you wimp, it doesn't stop the rest of us...

penny

Penny S said:

Slacker said:

supabonbon said:

I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the fact
that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with hesitantly
conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive with the
[censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs.

Quoted message said:

Dang it, I think my period just started, is the one I use most.

you wimp, it doesn't stop the rest of us...

penny

Yeah, but I have *really, really* heavy flows!
--
Slacker

Slacker said:

Penny S said:

Slacker said:

supabonbon wrote:

> I begin every group ride with a litany of excuses that make the
> fact that I'm even breathing heroic. The guys I ride with
> hesitantly conjure up something to say, but I get very competitive
> with the [censored] since I obviously can't compete with my legs.

>
>
Dang it, I think my period just started, is the one I use most.

you wimp, it doesn't stop the rest of us...

penny

Yeah, but I have *really, really* heavy flows!

you think it's bad now, wait until you get perimenopausal.

did I scare him off yet?

penny