General fitness, health and nutrition · Public discussion

Family Sabotage

Amberle3 · 2003-12-27T04:16:02+00:00

A common theme for many! My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over 40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is reading this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have caused 2 people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her daughter (my cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well, thinking that my cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my aunt really wanted to join. Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this week but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and office snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good thing that my mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast and that in fact she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I was stunned when my mother told me this. Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided that this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but at the beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has been at 225 for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on average. Well within the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve to tell my mother that she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays. The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do the same. So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and have another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all that hard work!") but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing weight. ARGH!!! Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her! Amberle3 -- Amberle3 249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03 - Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/hhh.htm - New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/nyny.htm - Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/thtp.htm

Started by Amberle3 · 27 December 2003 · Last activity 27 December 2003 · 33 posts · 834 views

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Original section: General fitness, health and nutrition
Published: 27 December 2003
Last activity: 27 December 2003
Original author: Amberle3
Posts: 33
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Original post
Amberle3
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #1

A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost almost
30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is
reading this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have
caused 2 people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her
daughter (my cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well,
thinking that my cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my
aunt really wanted to join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this week
but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and office
snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good thing that my
mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast and that in fact she
shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I was stunned when my mother
told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't really
get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided that this was
actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but at the beginning of
July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has been at 225 for 3 weeks
now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on average. Well within the WW
guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve to tell my mother that she's losing
weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore hasn't
been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until after the
holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we started
on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and have another
piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all that hard work!"😉 but
I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing weight. ARGH!!! Thankfully my
mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150?
Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge:
angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge:
angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge:
angelfire.comthtp.htm

Report
Brenda Hammond
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #2

What an awful thing for your Aunt to say to your Mom. At least your Mom had the sense not to listen
to her. You and your Mom are both doing great, so keep up the good work!!
I haven't had anyone try to sabotage my weight loss efforts. I can pretty much do that on my own!
--
Brenda
209/173150 NYNY goal 160
"Amberle3" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost
almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is reading
this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have caused 2
people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her daughter (my
cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well, thinking that my
cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my aunt really wanted to
join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this week
but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and office
snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good thing that my
mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast and that in fact
she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I was stunned when my
mother told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't
really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided that
this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but at the
beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has been at 225
for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on average. Well within
the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve to tell my mother that
she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore
hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until
after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do
the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we
started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and have
another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all that hard
work!"😉 but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing weight. ARGH!!!
Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm

Report
Elaine Kirkham
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #3

Family can be your worst enemies, can't they! But I think it was probably said with the best
of intentions - probably from worry that she might get sick. Just ignore it and keep on losing
;-D Elaine K
331.4/209.8/179
Amberle3 said:
A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost
almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is reading
this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have caused 2
people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her daughter (my
cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well, thinking that my
cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my aunt really wanted to
join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this week
but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and office
snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good thing that my
mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast and that in fact
she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I was stunned when my
mother told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't
really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided that
this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but at the
beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has been at 225
for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on average. Well within
the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve to tell my mother that
she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore
hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until
after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do
the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we
started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and have
another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all that hard
work!"😉 but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing weight. ARGH!!!
Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm

Report
Connie Walsh
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #4

Yep, it's official, relatives can say some pretty interesting things!! Good thing your mother has
some sense about her!!!
Connie
--
Cheers,
Connie Walsh
241.5/213/155 NYNY 218/213/198
Amberle3 said:
A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost
almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is reading
this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have caused 2
people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her daughter (my
cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well, thinking that my
cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my aunt really wanted to
join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this week
but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and office
snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good thing that my
mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast and that in fact
she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I was stunned when my
mother told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't
really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided that
this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but at the
beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has been at 225
for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on average. Well within
the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve to tell my mother that
she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore
hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until
after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do
the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we
started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and have
another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all that hard
work!"😉 but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing weight. ARGH!!!
Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm

Report
Stan
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #5

Several weeks ago, I sent my mother an email telling her how well we were doing on WW.
Last Thursday, a box arrived containing a tin with four kinds of cookies, a pumpkin roll (with
pecans and cream cheese filling), a box of fudge, some sort of brittle that resembled Heath bars,
some sort of sweets made from cereal... I think that covers it.
I sent the fudge and the cereal to work with my wife. I tasted the Heath bar stuff and it triggered
a binge. Unfortunately, it was Friday, or I would have sent the pumpkin log to work with her. It's
almost gone now, along with all the cookies and the Heath bar stuff.
I've always known that I had a terrible sweet tooth. Diving into a binge like that really took me by
surprise. That was my first one since starting this on Sept. 21. This stuff was all homemade, and I
think that made it harder to resist. Not only is the homemade stuff better, but it's also not as
common. To a large degree, I can leave the Oreos alone because I know that the store will always
have them on the shelf.
I can't believe my mother sent me that... I sent a nice fruit basket because my parents love
fruit, and she needs to watch her weight, and my dad is borderline diabetic, so he stays away from
the sweets.
Here come the holiday pitfalls...!
Stan
Amberle3 said:
A common theme for many!

[snip]
Quoted message said:

Amberle3

Report
Amberle3
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #6

I watched some of Dr. Phil today, and it happened to be one of his Ultimate Weight Loss
Challenge shows. They were talking about, oddly enough, how to deal with "well meaning" people
during the holidays.
He's got a whole page full of tips on how to deal with the holidays and get-togethers, you can view
them here:
tinyurl.comzdlk
Plus, he also has some cards on that same page (link to a pdf at the bottom) that say things like:
"Hi there Dr. Phil here... If you love this person, back off with the pie, cake, cookies or mashed
'taters! A lot of hard work hangs in the balance! Thanks! They will love you tomorrow!"
Hmm, I sure the show said there were 4 cards, but I only see three there. Still, they're an
interesting idea, and I think that I can make something similar to hand out that just *might* not
offend dear auntie too much!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/219/215-minigoal/150?
Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge:
angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge:
angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge:
angelfire.comthtp.htm

Report
Miss Violette
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #7

she is jealous of your mom and very possibly of the relationship the two of
you share. I think I would simply keep my comments to no thank you and no
thank you and ignore anything she says that you can't cover with no thank
you, good luck Lee
Amberle3 <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost
almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is reading
this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have caused 2
people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her daughter (my
cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well, thinking that my
cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my aunt really wanted to
join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this week
but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and office
snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good thing that my
mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast and that in fact
she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I was stunned when my
mother told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't
really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided that
this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but at the
beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has been at 225
for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on average. Well within
the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve to tell my mother that
she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore
hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until
after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do
the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we
started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and have
another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all that hard
work!"😉 but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing weight. ARGH!!!
Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm

Report
Laura
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #8

Isn't sibling rivalry wonderful? Let's hope your mother realises what your aunt is up to and won't
listen. Maybe you should give your mom a little pep talk. Make a deal with her that you'll stay OP
if she does. Maybe that will counteract her sister's jealousy.
"Amberle3" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost
almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is reading
this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have caused 2
people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her daughter (my
cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well, thinking that my
cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my aunt really wanted to
join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this week
but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and office
snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good thing that my
mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast and that in fact
she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I was stunned when my
mother told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't
really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided that
this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but at the
beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has been at 225
for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on average. Well within
the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve to tell my mother that
she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore
hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until
after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do
the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we
started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and have
another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all that hard
work!"😉 but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing weight. ARGH!!!
Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm

Report
Frood
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:16 UTC #9

I just got hit with a different kind of family sabotage! My fave SIL sent mini bite size cheesecakes
for a Christmas present - 2 dozen of them! Now, to be fair, she has no clue that I'm dieting. Oh,
and they work out to 3 points each, so I can indulge a little. ;-)
--
Wendy griffinsflight.comquilt1.htm de-fang email address to reply

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Amberle3
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #10

You're one of those "glass is half full" people aren't you? 🙂
Unfortunately years of experience with my aunt tells me that it was NOT said with the best of
intentions. She does this whenever my mother tries to quit smoking too - comes up with some reason
why she shouldn't. Not the right time, too stressful... if my mother is doing well then my aunt will
entice her with "just one won't hurt". I think that the motivation for both is the same. In the
current case it's that my aunt isn't going to even try to stay OP for the holidays and if my mother
doesn't either then she (my aunt) doesn't look as bad. It gives her an excuse to be off-program.
Same with the smoking
- if my mother were to quit it would make my aunt look bad because she'd still be smoking and would
feel the need to try and "keep up" with my mother.
Sad, but true.
Christmas dinner is going to be full of "have one more". I can't wait to see what horribly fattening
thing my aunt comes up with to bring for dinner, and what her reaction will be when my mother (and
I) don't take as much as she thinks we should, or don't have seconds. I'm betting the attempted
guilt trips will be:
- "But I made specially for you!"
- "You don't like my cooking/baking?"
- "Well if what I do isn't appreciated then I won't make anything next time. Maybe I won't
even come."
So when the Christmas season is over and people ask me "Did you go anywhere for the holidays" I'll
be able to say "Well, my aunt wanted to take me on a guilt trip, but I didn't feel like going".
Now if my AUNT had decided to do WW before my mother and I did, then everyone in the family would be
subjected to ranting/ravings about the program, the weigh-ins, how terrible it is that restaurant X
doesn't have low-fat items on the menu, criticisms on what we were eating etc etc. It all depends on
what side of the fence you're on I guess.
Amberle3
Elaine Kirkham said:
Family can be your worst enemies, can't they! But I think it was probably said with the best of
intentions - probably from worry that she might get sick. Just ignore it and keep on losing ;-D
Elaine K
331.4/209.8/179
Amberle3 said:
A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost
almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is
reading this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have
caused 2 people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her
daughter (my cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well,
thinking that my cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my
aunt really wanted to join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this
week but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and
office snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good
thing that my mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast and
that in fact she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I was
stunned when my mother told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't
really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided
that this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but at
the beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has been
at 225 for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on average. Well
within the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve to tell my mother
that she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore
hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until
after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do
the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we
started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and
have another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all that
hard work!"😉 but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing weight.
ARGH!!! Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm
--
Amberle3
249/219/215-minigoal/150?
Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge:
angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge:
angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge:
angelfire.comthtp.htm

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Kate Dicey
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #11

Stan said:

Several weeks ago, I sent my mother an email telling her how well we were doing on WW.
Last Thursday, a box arrived containing a tin with four kinds of cookies, a pumpkin roll (with
pecans and cream cheese filling), a box of fudge, some sort of brittle that resembled Heath bars,
some sort of sweets made from cereal... I think that covers it.
I sent the fudge and the cereal to work with my wife. I tasted the Heath bar stuff and it
triggered a binge. Unfortunately, it was Friday, or I would have sent the pumpkin log to work with
her. It's almost gone now, along with all the cookies and the Heath bar stuff.
I've always known that I had a terrible sweet tooth. Diving into a binge like that really took me
by surprise. That was my first one since starting this on Sept. 21. This stuff was all homemade,
and I think that made it harder to resist. Not only is the homemade stuff better, but it's also
not as common. To a large degree, I can leave the Oreos alone because I know that the store will
always have them on the shelf.
I can't believe my mother sent me that... I sent a nice fruit basket because my parents love
fruit, and she needs to watch her weight, and my dad is borderline diabetic, so he stays away from
the sweets.
Here come the holiday pitfalls...!
Stan
Argh! The Mother Love Torpedo!
--
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons diceyhome.free-online.co.ukdiceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

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Fred
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #12

Quoted message said:
Hmm, I sure the show said there were 4 cards, but I only see three there. Still, they're an
interesting idea, and I think that I can make something similar to hand out that just *might* not
offend dear auntie too much!
Something like "back off you sabotaging ol' coot!" (G)

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Miss Violette
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #13

You have assessed the situation so it seems to me that it was not a total
bust, I am sorry that happened to you, Good luck during the holidays, Lee
Stan <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
Several weeks ago, I sent my mother an email telling her how well we were doing on WW.
Last Thursday, a box arrived containing a tin with four kinds of cookies, a pumpkin roll (with
pecans and cream cheese filling), a box of fudge, some sort of brittle that resembled Heath bars,
some sort of sweets made from cereal... I think that covers it.
I sent the fudge and the cereal to work with my wife. I tasted the Heath bar stuff and it
triggered a binge. Unfortunately, it was Friday, or I would have sent the pumpkin log to work with
her. It's almost gone now, along with all the cookies and the Heath bar stuff.
I've always known that I had a terrible sweet tooth. Diving into a binge like that really took me
by surprise. That was my first one since starting this on Sept. 21. This stuff was all homemade,
and I think that made it harder to resist. Not only is the homemade stuff better, but it's also
not as common. To a large degree, I can leave the Oreos alone because I know that the store will
always have them on the shelf.
I can't believe my mother sent me that... I sent a nice fruit basket because my parents love
fruit, and she needs to watch her weight, and my dad is borderline diabetic, so he stays away from
the sweets.
Here come the holiday pitfalls...!
Stan
Amberle3 said:
A common theme for many!

[snip]
Quoted message said:

Amberle3

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Miss Violette
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #14

or you could make up some sort of coupon and give your mom twenty, you keep
twenty and each time one of you is tempted or out of line in the food dept.
they have to give up a coupon, you could make them for doing
dishes/vacuuming, making the bed or whatever, then the aunt can surely
relate to not wanting to have to do extra work? Lee
Amberle3 <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
I watched some of Dr. Phil today, and it happened to be one of his Ultimate Weight Loss Challenge
shows. They were talking about, oddly enough, how to deal with "well meaning" people during the
holidays.
He's got a whole page full of tips on how to deal with the holidays and get-togethers, you can
view them here:
tinyurl.comzdlk
Plus, he also has some cards on that same page (link to a pdf at the bottom) that say things like:
"Hi there Dr. Phil here... If you love this person, back off with the pie, cake, cookies or mashed
'taters! A lot of hard work hangs in the balance! Thanks! They will love you tomorrow!"
Hmm, I sure the show said there were 4 cards, but I only see three there. Still, they're an
interesting idea, and I think that I can make something similar to hand out that just *might* not
offend dear auntie too much!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/219/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm

Report
Connie Walsh
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #15

frood said:
I just got hit with a different kind of family sabotage! My fave SIL sent mini bite size
cheesecakes for a Christmas present - 2 dozen of them! Now, to be fair, she has no clue that I'm
dieting. Oh, and they work out to 3 points each, so I can indulge a little. ;-)
Killing you with kindness....ohhh the pain. Enjoy your treat.
Connie
--
Cheers,
Connie Walsh
241.5/213/155 NYNY 218/213/198

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Miss Violette
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #16

this one is touchy, she didn't know... but you are honoring yourself with an
NSV!!!! you figured the points without missing a beat, it is your choice to
eat or not, good for you, Lee!!!
frood <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
I just got hit with a different kind of family sabotage! My fave SIL sent mini bite size
cheesecakes for a Christmas present - 2 dozen of them! Now, to be fair, she has no clue that I'm
dieting. Oh, and they work out to 3 points each, so I can indulge a little. ;-)
--
Wendy griffinsflight.comquilt1.htm de-fang email address to reply

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Kate Dicey
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #17

Amberle3 said:

You're one of those "glass is half full" people aren't you? 🙂
I'm a bit like that too! 🙂
Quoted message said:

Unfortunately years of experience with my aunt tells me that it was NOT said with the best of
intentions. She does this whenever my mother tries to quit smoking too - comes up with some reason
why she shouldn't. Not the right time, too stressful... if my mother is doing well then my aunt
will entice her with "just one won't hurt". I think that the motivation for both is the same. In
the current case it's that my aunt isn't going to even try to stay OP for the holidays and if my
mother doesn't either then she (my aunt) doesn't look as bad. It gives her an excuse to be off-
program. Same with the smoking
- if my mother were to quit it would make my aunt look bad because she'd still be smoking and
would feel the need to try and "keep up" with my mother.
Sounds like old fashioned jealousy to me: you mother has greater willpower and is doing better. Your
aunt envies her, but lacks the willpower to emulate her, so tries to sabotage her. It may be
unconscious.
Quoted message said:

Sad, but true.

Very sad. Nothing YOU can do, however! Sorry 'bout that!
Quoted message said:
Christmas dinner is going to be full of "have one more". I can't wait to see what horribly
fattening thing my aunt comes up with to bring for dinner, and what her reaction will be when my
mother (and I) don't take as much as she thinks we should, or don't have seconds. I'm betting the
attempted guilt trips will be:
- "But I made specially for you!"
- "You don't like my cooking/baking?"
- "Well if what I do isn't appreciated then I won't make anything next time. Maybe I won't even
come."
So call her on that: Why did you make such a fattening thing when you KNEW I wouldn't eat much of
it? I like your cooking just fine, but this is off my regime right now. You are invited because we
love you, not for what you bring. Whether you come or not is entirely your choice.
Quoted message said:

So when the Christmas season is over and people ask me "Did you go anywhere for the holidays" I'll
be able to say "Well, my aunt wanted to take me on a guilt trip, but I didn't feel like going".
You've won already!
Quoted message said:

Now if my AUNT had decided to do WW before my mother and I did, then everyone in the family would
be subjected to ranting/ravings about the program, the weigh-ins, how terrible it is that
restaurant X doesn't have low-fat items on the menu, criticisms on what we were eating etc etc. It
all depends on what side of the fence you're on I guess.
Classic sibling rivalry: it's HER problem, not yours! You enjoy Christmas YOUR way, with your mum.
You will BOTH feel great at the end of the holiday period. Auntie's guilt problems are just that:
HER problems.
Quoted message said:

Amberle3
Elaine Kirkham said:
Family can be your worst enemies, can't they! But I think it was probably said with the best of
intentions - probably from worry that she might get sick. Just ignore it and keep on losing ;-D
Elaine K
331.4/209.8/179
Amberle3 said:
A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost
almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is
reading this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have
caused 2 people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her
daughter (my cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well,
thinking that my cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my
aunt really wanted to join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this
week but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and
office snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good
thing that my mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast
and that in fact she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I
was stunned when my mother told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't
really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided
that this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but
at the beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has
been at 225 for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on
average. Well within the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve
to tell my mother that she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore
hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until
after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do
the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we
started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and
have another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all
that hard work!"😉 but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing
weight. ARGH!!! Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm
--
Amberle3
249/219/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm
--
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons diceyhome.free-online.co.ukdiceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Report
Elaine Kirkham
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #18

I think I would get a case of "diverticulitis" or some such like that, so people couldn't complain
about what I can't or won't eat - as I would be saying that my stomach just won't take it. That Aunt
does sound like my late mother-in-law. I had a running battle with her & eventually, I just stopped
visiting her, but I doubt whether that could be done in this case. She just sounds darn right
spiteful. Wish you all luck in getting through this trying time. Elaine K
331.4/209.8/179
Amberle3 said:
You're one of those "glass is half full" people aren't you? 🙂
Unfortunately years of experience with my aunt tells me that it was NOT said with the best of
intentions. She does this whenever my mother tries to quit smoking too - comes up with some reason
why she shouldn't. Not the right time, too stressful... if my mother is doing well then my aunt
will entice her with "just one won't hurt". I think that the motivation for both is the same. In
the current case it's that my aunt isn't going to even try to stay OP for the holidays and if my
mother doesn't either then she (my aunt) doesn't look as bad. It gives her an excuse to be off-
program. Same with the smoking
- if my mother were to quit it would make my aunt look bad because she'd still be smoking and
would feel the need to try and "keep up" with my mother.
Sad, but true.
Christmas dinner is going to be full of "have one more". I can't wait to see what horribly
fattening thing my aunt comes up with to bring for dinner, and what her reaction will be when my
mother (and I) don't take as much as she thinks we should, or don't have seconds. I'm betting the
attempted guilt trips will be:
- "But I made specially for you!"
- "You don't like my cooking/baking?"
- "Well if what I do isn't appreciated then I won't make anything next time. Maybe I won't even
come."
So when the Christmas season is over and people ask me "Did you go anywhere for the holidays" I'll
be able to say "Well, my aunt wanted to take me on a guilt trip, but I didn't feel like going".
Now if my AUNT had decided to do WW before my mother and I did, then everyone in the family would
be subjected to ranting/ravings about the program, the weigh-ins, how terrible it is that
restaurant X doesn't have low-fat items on the menu, criticisms on what we were eating etc etc. It
all depends on what side of the fence you're on I guess.
Amberle3
Elaine Kirkham said:
Family can be your worst enemies, can't they! But I think it was probably said with the best of
intentions - probably from worry that she might get sick. Just ignore it and keep on losing ;-D
Elaine K
331.4/209.8/179
Amberle3 said:
A common theme for many!
My family noticed that my mother and I were losing weight back in September. So far I've lost
almost 30 pounds, my mother has lost over
40. This has inspired 2 of my family members to join WW (If any one from WW Corporate is
reading this, take note! 2 people who have been doing the WW program "unofficially" have
caused 2 people to join.) I'm pretty sure that my aunt only joined because she told her
daughter (my cousin) that if she (the cousin) joined then she (the aunt) would as well,
thinking that my cousin was too busy and wouldn't do it. Well she did. I don't think my
aunt really wanted to join.
Last night my mother was talking to my aunt, and told her that she hadn't lost anything this
week but hadn't gained, and she was okay with that since she had a number of lunches out and
office snacking stuff going on. And my aunt then had the audacity to say that it was a good
thing that my mother hadn't lost any more weight because she's been losing entirely too fast
and that in fact she shouldn't even try to lose any more weight until after the holidays. I
was stunned when my mother told me this.
Although my mother has been on the program since the end of March (when I started) she didn't
really get WITH the program until July. That's when she started noticing results and decided
that this was actually going to work. I don't know what she weighed when we started out, but
at the beginning of July she was 267. She's hit a little plateau (first one for her) and has
been at 225 for 3 weeks now. That's 42 pounds over 24 weeks, or 1.75 pounds per week on
average. Well within the WW guidelines. And my aunt, who is going to meetings, has the nerve
to tell my mother that she's losing weight to fast and should STOP until after the holidays.
The only thing I can think is that my aunt a) hasn't been following the program and therefore
hasn't been losing weight and b) has decided that she's not going to follow the program until
after the holidays and in an effort to look better is attempting to encourage my mother to do
the same.
So much for support and encouragement! This is exactly why we didn't tell my family when we
started on WW. I had expected the encouraged "cheating" ("you're doing so well, go ahead and
have another piece of cake/pie/horribly fattening item because gosh you deserve it for all
that hard work!"😉 but I didn't expect anyone to flat out tell either of us to stop losing
weight. ARGH!!! Thankfully my mother has enough sense not to listen to her!
Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/221/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm
--
Amberle3
249/219/215-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03
- Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm
- New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm
- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comthtp.htm

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Miss Violette
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #19

****snort*****
Lee, choking on an apple Fred <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:
Hmm, I sure the show said there were 4 cards, but I only see three there. Still, they're an
interesting idea, and I think that I can make something similar to hand out that just *might* not
offend dear auntie too much!
Something like "back off you sabotaging ol' coot!" (G)

Report
Deb In Northern
Archived post

27 December 2003, 04:17 UTC #20

<snipped>
Quoted message said:
- "But I made specially for you!"
A reply to that is, what are the points, so I can budget for it in my meal.
Quoted message said:
- "You don't like my cooking/baking?"
I love your cooking, but can't afford the points.
Quoted message said:
- "Well if what I do isn't appreciated then I won't make anything next

time.
Quoted message said:
Maybe I won't even come."
That is your choice, but you will be missed.
Quoted message said:

So when the Christmas season is over and people ask me "Did you go

anywhere
Quoted message said:
for the holidays" I'll be able to say "Well, my aunt wanted to take me on

a
Quoted message said:
guilt trip, but I didn't feel like going".
So as Ann Landers would say, only you will allow yourself to be put on the guilt trip, so don't let
her take you there, you know it will not be a nice vacation in guiltland.
Debbie
Quoted message said:
<snipped

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