Dining Out Ettiquette Question

Sheryl Rosen wrote in message ...

Quoted message said:

Person A purchased one of those Entertainment Books for about $25 or so.

The

Quoted message said:

book consists of coupons for restaurants, fast food places, and every sort of eating establishment
in between (and other sort of places).

Quoted message said:

sandwich shop which states "Buy one sandwich and a drink, get one sandwich and drink free".

Person A offers to get something for Person B, who thanks them for being so thoughtful and hands
over enough money to cover their order, along with a note with the specs of the sandwich and drink
they want.

Person A has this coupon.....buy one sandwich and drink, get one sandwich and drink free.

Person A (essentially) paid for this coupon.

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2 sandwiches, and 2 drinks, hand over
Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out,

never

Quoted message said:

mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

Discuss!

if I were person A, i would pay for half of one sandwich and give person B the change. or would have
told them about it before they gave me the money. unless person B was a total asswipe, who was not
likely to do nice things for anyone. in which case id go for the free sandwich. >:-)

--
Saerah

TANSTAAFL

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing
swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive
power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some
farcical aquatic ceremony."

x-no-archive: yes

Sheryl Rosen said:

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

I'd pick this option, of the ones you offered. Best to err on the side of generosity. Alternatively,
they could tell B they had the coupon before picking the stuff up. If someone told me about
something like that, I'd be fine with paying the full price for a meal they had offered to pick up
for me, since I would have paid for it anyway.

Not telling them seems weird. It's not terribly nefarious or anything, IMO, but it's the kind of
thing that, if someone has a pattern of doing, makes them seem a little bit sleazy.

Naomi D.

Quoted message said:

Sheryl Rosen writes:

Person A purchased one of those Entertainment Books for about $25 or so. The book consists of
coupons for restaurants, fast food places, and every sort of eating establishment in between (and
other sort of places).

Quoted message said:

sandwich shop which states "Buy one sandwich and a drink, get one sandwich and drink free".

Person A offers to get something for Person B, who thanks them for being so thoughtful and hands
over enough money to cover their order, along with a note with the specs of the sandwich and drink
they want.

The above paragraph is an attempt at making a contract but is not at all clear.

In the style written there is no way to accurately attribute who says/does what.

Rewrite using properly constructed sentences that employ no commas and no "ands".

Quoted message said:

Person A has this coupon.....buy one sandwich and drink, get one sandwich and drink free.

Person A (essentially) paid for this coupon.

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2 sandwiches, and 2 drinks, hand over
Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out, never mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

Discuss!

---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =--- ---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =--- Sheldon
```````````` "Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

Person A never accepts Person B's money or returns it all when he brings the sandwich. A's
explanation is "Lunch is on me. I'm feeling flush." If Person B has good manners, s/he will treat in
an appropriate way at some later date, either by buying lunch or bringing homemade goodies or
sharing extra from his/her garden.

--Lia

Sheryl Rosen said:

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2 sandwiches, and 2 drinks, hand over
Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out, never mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

Discuss!

Quoted message said:

"Saerah"

Sheryl Rosen said:

Person A purchased one of those Entertainment Books for about $25 or so.

The

Quoted message said:

book consists of coupons for restaurants, fast food places, and every sort of eating establishment
in between (and other sort of places).

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

sandwich shop which states "Buy one sandwich and a drink, get one sandwich and drink free".

Person A offers to get something for Person B, who thanks them for being so thoughtful and hands
over enough money to cover their order, along with a note with the specs of the sandwich and drink
they want.

Person A has this coupon.....buy one sandwich and drink, get one sandwich and drink free.

Person A (essentially) paid for this coupon.

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2 sandwiches, and 2 drinks, hand over
Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out,

never

Quoted message said:

mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

Discuss!

if I were person A, i would pay for half of one sandwich and give person B the change. or would
have told them about it before they gave me the money. unless person B was a total asswipe, who was
not likely to do nice things for anyone. in which case id go for the free sandwich. >:-)

Nonsense! Person A makes no offer to *buy* Person B anything. Person A merely offered to "get", as
in retrieve and deliver because I'm going anyway. It's no business of person B as to anything
regarding what Person A accquires, if anything, for his/herself and by what means... the existence
of the coupon is the business ONLY of the person who *purchased* it. And in fact Person B could
easily be construed to be obligated to Person A for the favor... and perhaps next time will display
good manners by offering to make the deli run.

Nothing preventing Person A from simply accquiring two sandwiches for the price of one and keeping
both (Person A *paid* for that coupon) and storing one in the fridge for later or offering one to a
passing panhandler. Person B wants a sandwich, let em pay for it.

It's not as though Person A and Person B shared in the purchase that coupon book and therefore are
partners in the benefits.

You, Saerah, are the asswipe, you functionally illiterate *assuming* [censored].

---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =--- ---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =--- Sheldon
```````````` "Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

Sheryl Rosen <[email hidden]> wrote in
:"]news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Person A purchased one of those Entertainment Books for about $25 or so. The book consists of
coupons for restaurants, fast food places, and every sort of eating establishment in between (and
other sort of places).

Quoted message said:

a sandwich shop which states "Buy one sandwich and a drink, get one sandwich and drink free".

Person A offers to get something for Person B, who thanks them for being so thoughtful and hands
over enough money to cover their order, along with a note with the specs of the sandwich and drink
they want.

Person A has this coupon.....buy one sandwich and drink, get one sandwich and drink free.

Person A (essentially) paid for this coupon.

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2 sandwiches, and 2 drinks, hand over
Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out, never mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

Discuss!

Person A could give person B a similar cupon and monies and say Tommorrow you get the lunch. That
way both parties get a free lunch and share the work of fetching it. Failing that I would split the
cost of the lunch.

--
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
--------
FIELDS, W. C.

In article <[email hidden]>, Sheryl Rosen

Quoted message said:

Person A purchased one of those Entertainment Books for about $25 or so. The book consists of
coupons for restaurants, fast food places, and every sort of eating establishment in between (and
other sort of places).

Quoted message said:

a sandwich shop which states "Buy one sandwich and a drink, get one sandwich and drink free".

Person A offers to get something for Person B, who thanks them for being so thoughtful and hands
over enough money to cover their order, along with a note with the specs of the sandwich and drink
they want.

Person A has this coupon.....buy one sandwich and drink, get one sandwich and drink free.

Person A (essentially) paid for this coupon.

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2 sandwiches, and 2 drinks, hand over
Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out, never mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

Discuss!

alt.fan.miss-manners The gracious, ethical, legal, moral (OK, I'm kidding about legal and moral)
thing to do is split the cost of the entire order in half without quibble. Rationale: Person B's
order enabled Person A to use the BOGO coupon. What's to discuss? Clear cut. "-)
--
-Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 2-19-04 -- Dufus picture posted!

You will know them by their actions... If you were taken advantage of, then that is probably what
will happen every time. My vote, pick better friends to associate with... IMHO...

"Sheryl Rosen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Person A purchased one of those Entertainment Books for about $25 or so.

The

Quoted message said:

book consists of coupons for restaurants, fast food places, and every

sort

Quoted message said:

of eating establishment in between (and other sort of places).

Quoted message said:

sandwich shop which states "Buy one sandwich and a drink, get one

sandwich

Quoted message said:

and drink free".

Person A offers to get something for Person B, who thanks them for being

so

Quoted message said:

thoughtful and hands over enough money to cover their order, along with

a

Quoted message said:

note with the specs of the sandwich and drink they want.

Person A has this coupon.....buy one sandwich and drink, get one

sandwich

Quoted message said:

and drink free.

Person A (essentially) paid for this coupon.

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2

sandwiches,

Quoted message said:

and 2 drinks, hand over Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out,

never

Quoted message said:

mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B

back

Quoted message said:

half their money, explaining about the coupon?

Discuss!

Quoted message said:

Melba's Jammin' says:

alt.fan.miss-manners The gracious, ethical, legal, moral (OK, I'm kidding about legal and moral)
thing to do is split the cost of the entire order in half without quibble. Rationale: Person B's
order enabled Person A to use the BOGO coupon. What's to discuss? Clear cut. "-)

Not so clear cut... by your own math, and for the sake of fairness, Person B is obligated to pay for
half that coupon too. hehe The smart thing is to before buying into such a coupon scheme (most folks
never use all the coupons before the coupons expire or the restaurants expire, or they expire) is to
go partners with someone willing to split the cost of the coupon book and eat together.

---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =--- ---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =--- Sheldon
```````````` "Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

In article <[email hidden]>,

(PENMART01) said:

Quoted message said:

Sheryl Rosen writes:

Person A purchased one of those Entertainment Books for about $25 or so. The book consists of
coupons for restaurants, fast food places, and every sort of eating establishment in between (and
other sort of places).

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

for a sandwich shop which states "Buy one sandwich and a drink, get one sandwich and drink free".

Person A offers to get something for Person B, who thanks them for being so thoughtful and hands
over enough money to cover their order, along with a note with the specs of the sandwich and
drink they want.

The above paragraph is an attempt at making a contract but is not at all clear.

(Rolls eyes in amazement.)

Quoted message said:

In the style written there is no way to accurately attribute who says/does what.

Oh pishtosh, Sheldon! Jack had a coupon for a BOGO that he didn't tell Jill he was using; and used
Jill's money to pay for their two meals. Jill bought lunch for both of them.

Naomi makes a good point about the logic that Jill was going to pay for her meal without knowing
about the coupon. I also concur that a pattern of the above-stated behavior by Jack marks him as a
sleazeball.

I'm sticking with my assessment that the gracious thing to do is for Jack and Jill to split the
total. Case closed. (Thwacks gavel on its thwack receiver.)
--
-Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 2-19-04 -- Dufus picture posted!

reading what some of the others wrote, and not knowing the full story, I would have to agree
w/Barb's explanation. If "B" would not have bought a sandwich, the coupon is worth nothing or some
miniscule amount. As for "the full story" part, are they good friends, do they usually buy lunches
for each other, who drove-if at all, etc. The easiest way would be to say something in advance. If
they are friends, something like this should blow over. If it keeps happening, "B" should also but
one of those books.

Sheryl Rosen said:

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2 sandwiches, and 2 drinks, hand over
Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out, never mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Quoted message said:

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

Its an ethical issue. I suppose the ethical thing to do would be for Person A to tell B about the
coupon and accept only partial payment from Person B or divide or half payment if both lunches cost
the same were a coupon not involved.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

I'd pick this option, of the ones you offered. Best to err on the side of generosity.
Alternatively, they could tell B they had the coupon before picking the stuff up. If someone told
me about something like that, I'd be fine with paying the full price for a meal they had offered to
pick up for me, since I would have paid for it anyway.

Not telling them seems weird. It's not terribly nefarious or anything, IMO, but it's the kind of
thing that, if someone has a pattern of doing, makes them seem a little bit sleazy.

Naomi D.

I would simply charge person B 1/2 of the total cost. You are both saving money, and you would not
be buying two lunches for you , yourself to eat. Rosie

Sheryl Rosen said:

Person A purchased one of those Entertainment Books for about $25 or so. The book consists of
coupons for restaurants, fast food places, and every sort of eating establishment in between (and
other sort of places).

Quoted message said:

sandwich shop which states "Buy one sandwich and a drink, get one sandwich and drink free".

Person A offers to get something for Person B, who thanks them for being so thoughtful and hands
over enough money to cover their order, along with a note with the specs of the sandwich and drink
they want.

Person A has this coupon.....buy one sandwich and drink, get one sandwich and drink free.

Person A (essentially) paid for this coupon.

Here's the question: Does Person A walk into the deli, order 2 sandwiches, and 2 drinks, hand over
Person B's money and the coupon, and walk out, never mentioning the coupon to Person B?

Or does Person A chip in for half of the total cost, and give Person B back half their money,
explaining about the coupon?

You (person A) give them back half the money. You still got your sandwich for half price, partially
covering the cost of the book.

So what did you end up doing, or are you not going to tell us until you tally the votes?

-sw

"Naomi Darvell" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...
: x-no-archive: yes
:
:
: Melba's Jammin' wrote inter alia:
:
:
:
: >Naomi makes a good point about the logic that Jill was going
to pay for
: >her meal without knowing about the coupon. I also concur that
a pattern
: >of the above-stated behavior by Jack marks him as a
sleazeball.
: >
: >I'm sticking with my assessment that the gracious thing to do
is for
: >Jack and Jill to split the total. Case closed. (Thwacks
gavel on its
: >thwack receiver.)
:
:
: I changed my mind and agree with you. Just split the bill
between the two of
: you. It never hurts to be nice.
:
:
: Naomi D.
: ==========

While I (presuming to be person A) would tell person B that I was using a coupon... when you think
about it - it really shouldn't matter because I already would have spent $ 25 for a book of coupons
which I may or may not actually get$ 25 worth of value...

I just thought I'd throw that into the mix... I've bought those books in the past but don't do it
any longer because I rarely went to the places in the silly book; ie, out of the $ 25. originally
spent I usually only reaped about $ 12.00 worth of savings.

--
Cyndi <Remove a "b" to reply

In article <[email hidden]>,

(PENMART01) said:

Quoted message said:

Melba's Jammin' says:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

alt.fan.miss-manners The gracious, ethical, legal, moral (OK, I'm kidding about legal and moral)
thing to do is split the cost of the entire order in half without quibble. Rationale: Person B's
order enabled Person A to use the BOGO coupon. What's to discuss? Clear cut. "-)

Not so clear cut... by your own math, and for the sake of fairness, Person B is obligated to pay
for half that coupon too. hehe

Phooey. It's a trade. Person B's order made the BOGO possible. You're wrong. I'm right. Get used to
it. <grin>

Quoted message said:

The smart thing is to before buying into such a coupon scheme (most folks never use all the
coupons before the coupons expire or the restaurants expire, or they expire) is to go partners
with someone willing to split the cost of the coupon book and eat together.

Yup, that's a good idea, too. At work we used to trade or just let be taken the coupons we had no
interest in. I sure don't use all the coupons available to me -- I have a set of restaurant cards
(probably between 75-100) that allow us a BOGO once a month. I need only make use of any one of them
3 times before I've recouped the cost of the set. Meal savings have paid for the box of cards a
couple times over. Market BBQ, here we come!!
--
-Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 2-19-04 -- Dufus picture posted!

in article [email hidden], Steve Wertz at
[email hidden] wrote on 2/27/04 10:28 PM:

Quoted message said:

You (person A) give them back half the money. You still got your sandwich for half price,
partially covering the cost of the book.

So what did you end up doing, or are you not going to tell us until you tally the votes?

-sw

I love watching the assumptions pile up!!!!

One person assumed I was Person B, and assuming I was unhappy because I felt I should not have paid
the entire price. You, ever wanting to paint ~me~ as the villain, decided I must be Person A, trying
to cheat my friend out of a couple bucks.

The fact of the matter is, I am neither person.

I was merely a disinterested party, as I watched this happen at work today. I posed it here because
I thought it would be an interesting conversation starter!

Rick & Cyndi wrote:

I've bought those

Quoted message said:

books in the past but don't do it any longer because I rarely went to the places in the silly
book; ie, out of the $ 25. originally spent I usually only reaped about $ 12.00 worth of savings.

When the books first came out, I was in Miami. They were terrific. There were lots of coupons for
buy-one-get-one-free in restaurants I was glad to try. The book paid for itself several times over,
and they must have been a good deal for the restaurants because I, for one, tried new places and
then went back to the ones I liked. It was great advertising for the restaurant and a great way for
me to try new places to eat.

Then I saw the way one friend was using them. This is a friend about whom I have a hundred
outrageous stories about the ways she figured out to make an extra buck here and there by arguing
with store owners and getting the better deal out of friends. I no longer will have anything to do
with her, but she was a great source of stories along the lines of "can you believe anyone would
stoop so low?"

She'd look through the Entertainment book and find 2-3 restaurants she knew wanted to go to and
would eat at often. Then she'd buy as many as 10 books. She'd get them straight from the company
rather than support any local non-profit group that was using them for a fundraiser. In fact, she
tried to sell them to me at a profit for herself. Instead of eating at restaurant once for half
price and then returning and paying full price, she'd keep going back to the same restaurant for a
half price meal. She'd never order appetizers or drinks. Take for granted that she never tipped
well. For her, it was all about getting the best bargain. As long as she paid $25/book and used each
card 3 times at a savings of about $12/use, she got her money's worth. The restaurants that
advertised in Entertainment books lost big time with her.

It only took a few years for the better restaurants to realize that advertising in Entertainment was
a terrible idea with people like her around. They stopped, and the books became, as you describe, a
bunch of bargains on meals you don't really want in the first place.

--Lia

Sheryl Rosen said:

One person assumed I was Person B, and assuming I was unhappy because I felt I should not have paid
the entire price. You, ever wanting to paint ~me~ as the villain,

You must have me confused with one of your other 'admirers'.

Quoted message said:

decided I must be Person A, trying to cheat my friend out of a couple bucks.

I decided you were person A because you mentioned the cost of the book (twice). Since that was the
most biased information in your post (twice), logic leads me assume you were person A since you
seemed as if you were trying to justify not splitting the cost. Don't take it personally.

-sw