Dear Cycling Expert

[::dom::]

Dear Cycling Expert,

When I got dressed to ride my bike home after work, I discovered that I had one black sock and one navy sock.

Should I have put the navy sock on my left foot or my right foot?

Thankyou,

Novice Cyclist

Dear Novice Cyclist

It is universally accepted that cycling socks should be white (unless your name is Prance Asswrong in which case you can wear black).

Here's what you do: Roll both socks up and stuff them down the front of your shorts. Everyone will be so busy looking at your "socks" the won't notice you're not wearing any.

 

[mikesbytes]

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

I have now developed a crush on C'dale Girl, perhaps one day she will notice me.

As Italy is a country that has produced some of the best cyclists in the world, I decided to purchase an Italian training video. It arrived in the post yesterday and I've found that my Italian is not as good as it should be, I am confused about the post training rituals, Cycling Expert can you explain? (see link)

MARIO CIPOLLINI training video

Thankyou

Cycling Novice

 

[stlblues]

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

I have now developed a crush on C'dale Girl, perhaps one day she will notice me.

As Italy is a country that has produced some of the best cyclists in the world, I decided to purchase an Italian training video. It arrived in the post yesterday and I've found that my Italian is not as good as it should be, I am confused about the post training rituals, Cycling Expert can you explain? (see link)

MARIO CIPOLLINI training video

Thankyou

Cycling Novice

Thats why I cross train with playing hockey.....and I don't usually wear socks playing hockey either, better feel for the ice.

C'dale Girl...Post pics for the curious.

 

[Powerful Pete]

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

I have now developed a crush on C'dale Girl, perhaps one day she will notice me.

As Italy is a country that has produced some of the best cyclists in the world, I decided to purchase an Italian training video. It arrived in the post yesterday and I've found that my Italian is not as good as it should be, I am confused about the post training rituals, Cycling Expert can you explain? (see link)

MARIO CIPOLLINI training video

Thankyou

Cycling Novice

That was hysterical... the show is called 'scherzi a parte' where they set up a star with ' inside help ' from his/her friends and family (my wife says it is like 'punked' on MTV if that helps for the US people out there).

 

[C'dale Girl]

Thats why I cross train with playing hockey.....and I don't usually wear socks playing hockey either, better feel for the ice.

C'dale Girl...Post pics for the curious.

Yeah, I'll get right on that Blue Note.

But, surely you meant that you cross train with cycling, right?

 

[stlblues]

Yeah, I'll get right on that Blue Note.

But, surely you meant that you cross train with cycling, right?

Do I detect a bit of sarcasm? And its a bit of both. The cycling keeps the legs strong for hockey in the winter, hockey keeps the legs strong for cycling in the summer. Theres just alot less hitting on bicycles.

 

[geoinmillbrook]

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

I have now developed a crush on C'dale Girl, perhaps one day she will notice me.

As Italy is a country that has produced some of the best cyclists in the world, I decided to purchase an Italian training video. It arrived in the post yesterday and I've found that my Italian is not as good as it should be, I am confused about the post training rituals, Cycling Expert can you explain? (see link)

MARIO CIPOLLINI training video

Thankyou

Cycling Novice

Awe man this is easy. The guys in the the little smart car were obviously impressed with the socks in the cyclists shorts, and wanted to know what color they were. They also wanted to know why one rider had the socks in the rear, and the other in front.

The explanation was easy " there is a higher probability of attracting a mate if you troll for both genders !" You know how Italians are !

Then the guys in the camper were obviously jealous of the attention the cyclists got from the guys in the little car and wanted to give them other objects to stuff in their pants. The one cyclist who drafted the camper wanted to show how aggressive he could be "from behind" -- he was obviously the biker with his socks in his rear.

I got bored after that and stopped watching. I can't imagine what is going on in that little shed !

 

[mikesbytes]

Awe man this is easy. The guys in the the little smart car were obviously impressed with the socks in the cyclists shorts, and wanted to know what color they were. They also wanted to know why one rider had the socks in the rear, and the other in front.

The explanation was easy " there is a higher probability of attracting a mate if you troll for both genders !" You know how Italians are !

Then the guys in the camper were obviously jealous of the attention the cyclists got from the guys in the little car and wanted to give them other objects to stuff in their pants. The one cyclist who drafted the camper wanted to show how aggressive he could be "from behind" -- he was obviously the biker with his socks in his rear.

I got bored after that and stopped watching. I can't imagine what is going on in that little shed !

Dear cycling expert,

So to become a successful cyclist, you need to combine your training with any opportunties for a sexual encounter, now I understand why the shorts are tight and legs are shaved.

I will now purchase shorts that are 2 sizes too small and shave my legs in an attempt to get C'dale Girl to notice me.

Thankyou cycling novice

 

[geoinmillbrook]

Dear cycling expert,

So to become a successful cyclist, you need to combine your training with any opportunties for a sexual encounter, now I understand why the shorts are tight and legs are shaved.

I will now purchase shorts that are 2 sizes too small and shave my legs in an attempt to get C'dale Girl to notice me.

Thankyou cycling novice

Yes, grasshopper, thou hast found the secret of the UNIVERSE. All living things must develop activities of the conscious and subconscious motivation that are nothing more than a means to procreation. Being of higher order our species has evolved to develop many habits, customs and methods for luring a partner into our tangled webs. Shavest thine legs and share thine bulbous member - C'dale girl will surely be entranced unto your will. If that doesn't work, well there is always

• GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)
• Rohypnol (flunitrazepam)
• Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride)

Of course I do not condone the use of the latter and abhor those that may think to stoop this low. Mention of them is soley for the purpose of sick humor. I must of course mention the remedy for these - a swift kick to the sensitive parts from the intended inductee.

 

[thomas199023]

buy new socks

 

[mikesbytes]

Yes, grasshopper, thou hast found the secret of the UNIVERSE. All living things must develop activities of the conscious and subconscious motivation that are nothing more than a means to procreation. Being of higher order our species has evolved to develop many habits, customs and methods for luring a partner into our tangled webs. Shavest thine legs and share thine bulbous member - C'dale girl will surely be entranced unto your will. If that doesn't work, well there is always

• GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)
• Rohypnol (flunitrazepam)
• Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride)

Of course I do not condone the use of the latter and abhor those that may think to stoop this low. Mention of them is soley for the purpose of sick humor. I must of course mention the remedy for these - a swift kick to the sensitive parts from the intended inductee.

Thankyou Cycling Expert, I took the prescribed medication and my body developed muscles I never knew it had and I thought WOW I'm going to be really fast, but my new larger body just catches the wind, please see photo of me in Blue Helmet and Red top on the front below. Also video.

Look forward to your advice, Cycling Novice.

http://s215.photobucket.com/albums/cc106/micklan/?action=view&current=CGradebreak.flv

 

[mikesbytes]

Dear Cycling Expert,

I have good news, C'dale Girl was on secret training in New Zealand, I have managed to take a photo.

Cheers, Cycling Novice

 

[byte_speed]

I thought this was covered in another thread, NO SOCKS, its extra weight.

Shorts are heavier than socks. Just saying.

 

[stlblues]

Shorts are heavier than socks. Just saying.

How about a G string and pasties? No tassles though...wind drag. And Cdale girl should demonstrate.......pix please.

 

[C'dale Girl]

Blue Note, I'm sure you can check any one of the myriad of **** sites that you peruse hours a day in order to find someone in the get up you desire. Personally, I weigh over 200 lbs, am married with adult children, am 52 years old, and am currently applying to be on the Biggest Loser . . . me and my wide load comfort seat that I have on my Walmart bike that I got a good deal for at Christmas. So, I don't think I'm the candidate for you.

Ok, so I've waited patiently for 3 weeks now and you guys are still going on, disrespecting me. So here I am. What do you want now so we can put this to rest? (Go ahead . . . make some pre-pubescent inappropriate answer to that question. I'd hate to be proven wrong in that regard).

Tell me Blue Note, what part of StL did you grow up in? Care to share? Or, are you from Jeff City and simply a Blues fan?

And, while I'm at it, care to share what position you play(ed) on the ice?

 

[stlblues]

Blue Note, I'm sure you can check any one of the myriad of **** sites that you peruse hours a day in order to find someone in the get up you desire. Personally, I weigh over 200 lbs, am married with adult children, am 52 years old, and am currently applying to be on the Biggest Loser . . . me and my wide load comfort seat that I have on my Walmart bike that I got a good deal for at Christmas. So, I don't think I'm the candidate for you.

Ok, so I've waited patiently for 3 weeks now and you guys are still going on, disrespecting me. So here I am. What do you want now so we can put this to rest? (Go ahead . . . make some pre-pubescent inappropriate answer to that question. I'd hate to be proven wrong in that regard).

Tell me Blue Note, what part of StL did you grow up in? Care to share? Or, are you from Jeff City and simply a Blues fan?

And, while I'm at it, care to share what position you play(ed) on the ice?

Didn't mean to dis you, just having some fun. And I'm originally from North county off Halls Ferry, grandparents lived in Ferguson, others in South City on Shaw. My brother lives off Telegraph Rd. I love Imos Pizza and White Castle(best one is on 6th), can tell you where almost every gentlemans club is, and still mourn the old Checkerdome/Arean and old Busch. My father is a grad BA and MA from St Louis University, my mother Font Bon. St Louis enough for you.?I played and still do primarily defense (Skates-Nike Ignite 1s, Stick Easton One, most pads are Easton, Nike helmet), my son is a goalie/defenseman though he is a theat at any position and my daughter a goalie/right forward/center. My wife has played goalie in the parent child games. I've coached 4 yrs for the Central MO Eagles. And we had season tickets for 5 yrs driving 280miles round trip to games, had to drop them when gas hit $3 a gallon, 280 miles x 35 to 40 games +food and parking= too expensive now. We spend enough going to my kids games, Granite City, Fairview Heights, Alton, to Queeny Park to Chesterfield to Webster, to St Peters (very nice new faciltiy.

And you only have me by 8yrs, but I'm content with my wife of 20 yrs, been together 25.5 and the girl can ride her butt off, can't skate that well. Though its only a size 2. She is a very hot 42 almost 43 yr old, most think she's in her early 30s. So seriously, I was just goofing off. Sorry for any offense.

And we watch the Biggest Loser, my wife is the administrator for a doctor supervised weight loss program. She lost 72 lbs and is my trophy wife without the divorce. I need to lose a couple, love Imos and White castle too much though. And my wife and I ride Fuji, Newest for me, Absolute for her, and the kids ride Giant,Haro,Trek, and GT. I'll try to dig up one of our cycling pics and the one of my son hooking me down on the ice to prove it if you desire.

 

[C'dale Girl]

Didn't mean to dis you, just having some fun. And I'm originally from North county off Halls Ferry, grandparents lived in Ferguson, others in South City on Shaw. My brother lives off Telegraph Rd. I love Imos Pizza and White Castle(best one is on 6th), can tell you where almost every gentlemans club is, and still mourn the old Checkerdome/Arean and old Busch. My father is a grad BA and MA from St Louis University, my mother Font Bon. St Louis enough for you.?I played and still do primarily defense (Skates-Nike Ignite 1s, Stick Easton One, most pads are Easton, Nike helmet), my son is a goalie/defenseman though he is a theat at any position and my daughter a goalie/right forward/center. My wife has played goalie in the parent child games. I've coached 4 yrs for the Central MO Eagles. And we had season tickets for 5 yrs driving 280miles round trip to games, had to drop them when gas hit $3 a gallon, 280 miles x 35 to 40 games +food and parking= too expensive now. We spend enough going to my kids games, Granite City, Fairview Heights, Alton, to Queeny Park to Chesterfield to Webster, to St Peters (very nice new faciltiy.

And you only have me by 8yrs, but I'm content with my wife of 20 yrs, been together 25.5 and the girl can ride her butt off, can't skate that well. Though its only a size 2. She is a very hot 42 almost 43 yr old, most think she's in her early 30s. So seriously, I was just goofing off. Sorry for any offense.

And we watch the Biggest Loser, my wife is the administrator for a doctor supervised weight loss program. She lost 72 lbs and is my trophy wife without the divorce. I need to lose a couple, love Imos and White castle too much though. And my wife and I ride Fuji, Newest for me, Absolute for her, and the kids ride Giant,Haro,Trek, and GT. I'll try to dig up one of our cycling pics and the one of my son hooking me down on the ice to prove it if you desire.

That's actually a funny post.

But, the most important question of all . . . what kinda pads are your kids' sportin'?

 

[stlblues]

That's actually a funny post.

But, the most important question of all . . . what kinda pads are your kids' sportin'?

My son, Bauer Leg pads, Bauer Vapor skates, RBK chest protector, RBK blocker and catcher, CCM stick, CCM pants, ITech helmet. Daughter Bodam legs, CCM chest, Bauer 1000 skates, Tour blocker and catcher, CCM helmet, and Sherwood stick. UnderArmor under all of it......and it all stinks to high heaven, as any well used hockey equipment does. It stays in the garage.

Anything else?

of course you know the brand lines have blured a bit since Nike bought Bauer and Rebok bought CCM.

And if you didn't get it, I appologized for bugging you and sorry, I'm not a poser. I'm from St Louis, I do play and coach hockey, and we ride a lot....among other things.

 

[C'dale Girl]

My son, Bauer Leg pads, Bauer Vapor skates, RBK chest protector, RBK blocker and catcher, CCM stick, CCM pants, ITech helmet. Daughter Bodam legs, CCM chest, Bauer 1000 skates, Tour blocker and catcher, CCM helmet, and Sherwood stick. UnderArmor under all of it......and it all stinks to high heaven, as any well used hockey equipment does. It stays in the garage.

Anything else?

of course you know the brand lines have blured a bit since Nike bought Bauer and Rebok bought CCM.

You do understand that I was joking, asking the age old StL question, right? Oh, I guess I should have asked where you went to highschool in order for you to get it, but I was trying to protect your anonymity more.

My kid's a goalie too. So, we're in the same club.

Hey, are we gonna get in trouble for taking this thread off-topic though? What IS the topic of this thread anyway, other than ragging on me?

Btw, my mention of disrespect was to a few people, not just you. After all, we got one guy suggesting ruffies? (I know, it was a joke).

 

[stlblues]

You do understand that I was joking, asking the age old StL question, right? Oh, I guess I should have asked where you went to highschool in order for you to get it, but I was trying to protect your anonymity more.

My kid's a goalie too. So, we're in the same club.

Hey, are we gonna get in trouble for taking this thread off-topic though? What IS the topic of this thread anyway, other than ragging on me?

Btw, my mention of disrespect was to a few people, not just you. After all, we got one guy suggesting ruffies? (I know, it was a joke).

OK, if your asking high schools, you must be from St Louis. My parents moved us from St Louis before high school, I believe if we would have stayed where we were, of course if youve been up there recently, we wouldn't, but Hazelwood Central was the high school, though my parents would have stuck us in Catholic school. As they moved us to Jeff, I went to Jefferson City High School, class or should I say no class of 82. And I'm not worried about anonymity. I'm rude, crude, and don't care who knows it....and if someone has a problem with it, I'll make them eat plexiglass.

So you know the expense with goalies, at ages 11 and 9, we have $2700 in equipment. But my son has had three shutouts this season.