Constipation

Quoted message said:

I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
Is it something I am cooking?

Seems to be coming out your mouth ok.

<[email hidden]> wrote in message
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Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
Is it something I am cooking?

Seems to be coming out your mouth ok.

hahaha

Quoted message said:

I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
Is it something I am cooking?

If you aren't trolling, I think you should consider seeing a doctor.
2 weeks is a long time not to take a dumper.

[email hidden] wrote in news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
Is it something I am cooking?

Nope. Don't worry about what you're cooking.

After 2 weeks without a dump............ you're going to die.

Make your peace.

--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia

"People sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in
the night to do violence to those who would do them harm"
-- George Orwell

In article <[email hidden]>,

PeterLucas said:

[email hidden] wrote in news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
Is it something I am cooking?

Nope. Don't worry about what you're cooking.

After 2 weeks without a dump............ you're going to die.

Make your peace.

Tsk!

Just drink a bottle of Magnesium Citrate... and stay near the toilet!

;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a [censored]" -- Jack Nicholson

On Fri, 6 Jul 2007 15:33:48 +0000 (UTC), PeterLucas <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

[email hidden] wrote in news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
Is it something I am cooking?

Nope. Don't worry about what you're cooking.

After 2 weeks without a dump............ you're going to die.

Make your peace.

Holy [censored] !!!

I just started praying to Jesus. Maybe he will help me go !!!!

[email hidden] wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

On Fri, 6 Jul 2007 15:33:48 +0000 (UTC), PeterLucas <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

[email hidden] wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
Is it something I am cooking?

Nope. Don't worry about what you're cooking.

After 2 weeks without a dump............ you're going to die.

Make your peace.

Holy [censored] !!!

I just started praying to Jesus. Maybe he will help me go !!!!

Betcha that scared the [censored] outta ya!!!

--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia

"People sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in
the night to do violence to those who would do them harm"
-- George Orwell

<[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
Is it something I am cooking?

You have an urgent need for a CEREBRAL enema!

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

> I am really constipated. I have not taken a [censored] in almost 2 weeks.
> Is it something I am cooking?

My doctor prescribed suppositories. I took them for a week, but they did not
help. May as well have stuck them up my ass for all the good they did.

prunes
water
lemon, sliced (optional)
sugar

Put the prunes and the sliced lemon in a pot, add enough water to barely
cover, sweeten with sugar (or not). Bring to a boil, lower the heat and
simmer for 4-5 minutes, remove from the heat, add a lid to the pot and
allow to cool. Eat the prunes until nature calls.

Becca

Please try the following. You will need:

Quoted message said:

From the drug store:

1 large bottle of the diet pill Alli.
1 Bottle Magnisium sterate
1 pacakge of tucks madicated pads.
1 bottle Metamucil

Quoted message said:

From the Grocery:

1 carton eggs
1 package shredded cheddar
1 Lb bacon
1 Lb Sausage
2 Lbs butter
1 Lb hamburger
your favorite cheese
2 family size Stouffers Fettucini Alfredo
1 large bage potato chips
5 lbs. Prunes

Quoted message said:

From the mall:

1 Digital camera (to prove you actually did this.)

Quoted message said:

From Lowes/Hope Depot (Etc.)

1 industrial strength exaust fan.

Preperation:
For Break fast begin with 2 Alli capsules. Fry 1/2 pound bacon until
desired crispness. Do not discard greese. Cook 3 or 4 eggs in the
style you prefer in the bacon greese. Fry sausage in the remaining
greese as you desire. Consume. Oh. Heve as much coffee as you can
take.

Mid Morning snack:
2 Alli capsules followed by as many Prunes as you can get down. 2
Shots of Espresso.

Lunch:
2 Alli capsules
1 1/2 pound hamburger patty (note, use Hamburger, nothing else. We
need the fat to lubricate your colon.)
At least 2 Slice of velveta
Toppings as desired
1/2 bag of the chips.
Cook to desired donenss. Consume. 2 More Espressos.

Afternoon Snack:
2 more Alli capsules this time with a large can of Bush's baked beans
with onions.
1 large chunk of cheddar cheese. Consume.

Dinner:
2 Alli capsules
All the fettucini Alfredo you can handle,
Garlic bred Dripping with as much butter as you can take (again,
important lubrication.)
Salad with Tons of Olive oil. (Do you see where we are going???)

Before bed:
Make sure you finish off any remaning chips. Take 2 more Alli
capsules.
Put 2 heaping tablespoons of Metamucil into 1/2 glass of prune juice.
Blend well, swallow.
Immediatly drink the bottle of Maginesium Sterate.

If you need a cocktail to sleep:
The above formula blends with the addition of about 6 heavy dark
beers.

Next Morning:
Make sure the camera is ready.
Place fan in bathroom window.
Consume 6 espressos.

If this does not work I will personally hand over 1,000 U.S. dollars
if you will allow me to photograph you counsiming the EXACT menu above
the next day as long as you do not explode.