Stolen from the triathlon forums at forums.transitions.org.auindex.phpOpen ↗
Some common cycling speak:
"I'm not very fit"
Translation: I ride 600Ks a week and haven't missed a day since Bob won the election. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your undies. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.
"I'm not into racing. I'm just riding to stay fit"
Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the sprint if I have to force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.
"I'm on my beater bike"
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than helium and costs more than a Porsche.
"It's not that hilly"
Translation: This climb lasts longer than a 5-Day Test Match. Be careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.
"You're doing great, honey"
Translation: I'd like to get home before midnight.
"This is a no-drop ride"
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs.
"It's not that far"
Translation: Bring your passport
"I'm not doing much..."
Translation: more than 500-600km a week
"You'll be OK in 'A' grade"
Translation: this ought to give me something to laugh about for the rest of the week!
"just sit in the bunch and you'll be alright"
Translation: The bunch will make you do your turn for the 90km headwind section of the ride!
"I don't race any more"
Translation: I found I couldn't keep up with the 'A' grade guys anymore so I just found a local bunch ride of old farts to ride with so I can still get a win every weekend!