Chris Walker & Drool

Alec Sander said:

http://www.cyclingnews.com/photos.php?id=photos/2005/feb05/murrieta05/mtt2005-02-18T10_57_07

Quoted message said:

Some of us have had the pleasure to experience it firsthand, some

have

Quoted message said:

only heard the legend. Now CyclingNews has preserved it for

posterity.

Quoted message said:

Chris Walker and his drool.

By the way he won the race and ended up winning the 40+ masters
division at Tour of Murrietta - whatever the hell that is. I'll bet

he

Quoted message said:

would have won without aerobars too.

Can I honestly say I have witnessed the drool actually hanging from his
mouth down past his handle bar at a distance of over 12 inches.
Amazing.

RVD

"Rik Van Diesel" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Alec Sander said:

http://www.cyclingnews.com/photos.php?id=photos/2005/feb05/murrieta05/mtt2005-02-18T10_57_07

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Some of us have had the pleasure to experience it firsthand, some

have

Quoted message said:

only heard the legend. Now CyclingNews has preserved it for

posterity.

Quoted message said:

Chris Walker and his drool.

By the way he won the race and ended up winning the 40+ masters
division at Tour of Murrietta - whatever the hell that is. I'll bet

he

Quoted message said:

would have won without aerobars too.

Can I honestly say I have witnessed the drool actually hanging from his
mouth down past his handle bar at a distance of over 12 inches.
Amazing.

RVD

Wow, that must have been some serious power. Here's a little secret... You
can tell the wattage he's producing by using the following ad hoc formula:

W = (drool or snot length in inches) X 100 / (green intensity)

BTW, I just rode with him today and he has a pretty bad cold, so the power
calculation based on the CN picture is probably not well calibrated.

Mark
(founding member, CW fan club)

Mark Fennell said:

Wow, that must have been some serious power. Here's a little

secret... You

Quoted message said:

can tell the wattage he's producing by using the following ad hoc

formula:

Quoted message said:

W = (drool or snot length in inches) X 100 / (green intensity)

BTW, I just rode with him today and he has a pretty bad cold, so the

power

Quoted message said:

calculation based on the CN picture is probably not well calibrated.

Mark
(founding member, CW fan club)

Dumbass -

What's a Masters Fattie like you doing riding with the antithesis of
Masters Fattiedom?

If there ever was to be a Masters Fattie AntiChrist, it would be CW.

thanks,

K. Gringioni.

Mark Fennell said:

Quoted message said:

RVD

Wow, that must have been some serious power. Here's a little

secret... You

Quoted message said:

can tell the wattage he's producing by using the following ad hoc

formula:

Quoted message said:

Mark
(founding member, CW fan club)

Tour of the Gila on Mogollon.

RVD

Mark Fennell said:

"Rik Van Diesel" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Alec Sander said:

http://www.cyclingnews.com/photos.php?id=photos/2005/feb05/murrieta05/mtt2005-02-18T10_57_07

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Some of us have had the pleasure to experience it firsthand, some

have

Quoted message said:

only heard the legend. Now CyclingNews has preserved it for

posterity.

Quoted message said:

Chris Walker and his drool.

By the way he won the race and ended up winning the 40+ masters
division at Tour of Murrietta - whatever the hell that is. I'll bet

he

Quoted message said:

would have won without aerobars too.

Can I honestly say I have witnessed the drool actually hanging from his
mouth down past his handle bar at a distance of over 12 inches.
Amazing.

RVD

Wow, that must have been some serious power. Here's a little secret... You
can tell the wattage he's producing by using the following ad hoc formula:

W = (drool or snot length in inches) X 100 / (green intensity)

Cut the milk product in the panache, and the drool and snot will be reduced.
Guaranteed.

Kurgan Gringioni said:

Dumbass -

What's a Masters Fattie like you doing riding with the antithesis of
Masters Fattiedom?

If there ever was to be a Masters Fattie AntiChrist, it would be CW.

Hankster,

As I'm sure you are well aware, Masters Fattieness has a way of insidiously
sneaking up on you.

The symptoms are subtle and often go ignored.

You find yourself doing only group rides, and rationalizing it by saying
"it's just so I can see my friends...I'll take the long way home and
hammer". But you don't. You either noodle home or you sit at the coffee shop
growing God-knows-what in your chamois. Soon you start *driving* to the
group rides, though some twinge of guilt enters your mind ...but that goes
away eventually too.

Occasionally you ride by yourself, but of course your acceptable temperature
range shrinks to, well, like 65-75 deg F. You find yourself skipping rides
because your bike is too dirty and the chain makes noise, or else it's too
clean and you don't want to get it dirty. Instead of legs with paper-thin
skin and veins popping out all over, you find indentations from the
tightness of your socks and shorts. And OMG, the internet... time you once
spent doing intervals is now consumed by web surfing and email, as your butt
spreads to the width of your chair.

Of course your racing choices help the downward spiral. Whereas you once
were able to race 110 miles, and finish with a 40 mph sprint, you now cramp
and bonk at the 2-hour point in a Masters 35+ road race. 90-minute 30-mph
crits with actual spectators become 40 minutes at 25 mph in an industrial
park... at 9:00 AM. It is quite sad indeed.

And so it was that I became assimilated into Masters Fattiedom.

Meanwhile, CW continues to do 4-6 hr solo rides every day, rain or shine,
sick or well. He shuns the group rides like a Masters Fattie avoids the
hills. He doesn't drink coffee because it costs money. Food is a luxury to
be used sparingly. He doesn't have an email address and his internet
activity takes place at the public library, on a 30-minute timer. Chris is
indeed the Masters Fattie AntiChrist. Bless him.

Anyway, the dichotomy finally dawned on me. He wins elite nationals; I
win... well, nothing. It must be the training technique.

So, since CW lives two blocks from me, I sometimes lurk in our neighborhood
waiting for him to roll out (about 11:00 most days) in hopes of tagging
along. I will slowly work up to a whole ride with him, but for now I will
just go until he turns on the gas or until the road tilts up. He tolerates
me because, among other things, I once set him up with a nice girl from my
work. Well OK, she wasn't so nice, but that was probably a good thing.
Unfortunately for all of us, it didn't last.

Does that answer your question?

Mark
p.s. for the uninitiated who don't comprehend Masters Fattieness, you can
learn more by taking the short quiz at the following link...
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/rec.bicycles.racing/msg/a74a8672491225b3

Rik Van Diesel said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

RVD

Wow, that must have been some serious power. Here's a little

secret... You

Quoted message said:

can tell the wattage he's producing by using the following ad hoc

formula:

Quoted message said:

Mark
(founding member, CW fan club)

Tour of the Gila on Mogollon.

RVD

1996?

Did you find it someone satisfying to let ALL of the secrets out of the bag?

"Mark Fennell" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:vmcTd.81105$Yu.15128@fed1read01...

Quoted message said:

Kurgan Gringioni said:

Dumbass -

What's a Masters Fattie like you doing riding with the antithesis of
Masters Fattiedom?

If there ever was to be a Masters Fattie AntiChrist, it would be CW.

Hankster,

As I'm sure you are well aware, Masters Fattieness has a way of
insidiously
sneaking up on you.

The symptoms are subtle and often go ignored.

You find yourself doing only group rides, and rationalizing it by saying
"it's just so I can see my friends...I'll take the long way home and
hammer". But you don't. You either noodle home or you sit at the coffee
shop
growing God-knows-what in your chamois. Soon you start *driving* to the
group rides, though some twinge of guilt enters your mind ...but that goes
away eventually too.

Occasionally you ride by yourself, but of course your acceptable
temperature
range shrinks to, well, like 65-75 deg F. You find yourself skipping rides
because your bike is too dirty and the chain makes noise, or else it's too
clean and you don't want to get it dirty. Instead of legs with paper-thin
skin and veins popping out all over, you find indentations from the
tightness of your socks and shorts. And OMG, the internet... time you once
spent doing intervals is now consumed by web surfing and email, as your
butt
spreads to the width of your chair.

Of course your racing choices help the downward spiral. Whereas you once
were able to race 110 miles, and finish with a 40 mph sprint, you now
cramp
and bonk at the 2-hour point in a Masters 35+ road race. 90-minute 30-mph
crits with actual spectators become 40 minutes at 25 mph in an industrial
park... at 9:00 AM. It is quite sad indeed.

And so it was that I became assimilated into Masters Fattiedom.

Meanwhile, CW continues to do 4-6 hr solo rides every day, rain or shine,
sick or well. He shuns the group rides like a Masters Fattie avoids the
hills. He doesn't drink coffee because it costs money. Food is a luxury to
be used sparingly. He doesn't have an email address and his internet
activity takes place at the public library, on a 30-minute timer. Chris is
indeed the Masters Fattie AntiChrist. Bless him.

Anyway, the dichotomy finally dawned on me. He wins elite nationals; I
win... well, nothing. It must be the training technique.

So, since CW lives two blocks from me, I sometimes lurk in our
neighborhood
waiting for him to roll out (about 11:00 most days) in hopes of tagging
along. I will slowly work up to a whole ride with him, but for now I will
just go until he turns on the gas or until the road tilts up. He tolerates
me because, among other things, I once set him up with a nice girl from my
work. Well OK, she wasn't so nice, but that was probably a good thing.
Unfortunately for all of us, it didn't last.

Does that answer your question?

Mark
p.s. for the uninitiated who don't comprehend Masters Fattieness, you can
learn more by taking the short quiz at the following link...
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/rec.bicycles.racing/msg/a74a8672491225b3

Mark Fennell said:

Rik Van Diesel said:

Quoted message said:

> RVD

Wow, that must have been some serious power. Here's a little

secret... You

Quoted message said:

can tell the wattage he's producing by using the following ad hoc

formula:

Quoted message said:

Mark
(founding member, CW fan club)

Tour of the Gila on Mogollon.

RVD

1996?

95

Mark Fennell said:

As I'm sure you are well aware...

That was excellent! You should submit it to VN or something.

Morgan
--
Morgan Fletcher, [email hidden] Oakland, CA

Mark Fennell said:

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/rec.bicycles.racing/msg/a74a8672491225b3

I think I have to sell my bike. Odd.

RVD

Kurgan Gringioni said:

Quoted message said:

What's a Masters Fattie like you doing riding with the antithesis of
Masters Fattiedom?

If there ever was to be a Masters Fattie AntiChrist, it would be CW.

Mark Fennell said:

<Erudite essay snipped>

POTM.

Don't worry you're much to literate to have been a top pro, so enjoy your
career as a fattie master :-)

Mark Fennell wrote:

<well thought out anecdotes snipped>

Dumbass -

You are far too aware to be a Masters Fattie posting here.

Better to be posting about how important your Masters' Medal is or how
its impossible for you to get under 15% bodyfat.

thanks,

K. Gringioni.