ZeeExSixAre said:cgi.ebay.comeBayISAPI.dllOpen ↗
098&item=3680352269&rd=1
If you learn anything from that auction, learn that
prenups are bad!
This good “prenup” has been around for a while - does anyone
know who the author is?
PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT FOR THE BIKER
This agreement acknowledges that the forthcoming marriage is
an arrangement that accepts the perpetual continuity of pre-
existing relationship between the first two parties and that
a three-way coexistence shall be created consisting of the
following participants: Spouse A (the non-biking loved one)
hereafter referred to as NBLO; Spouse B (biking loved one)
hereafter referred to as BLO, and; The Bike (the glorious
one) hereafter referred to as TB.
Condition I: Acknowledgment NBLO shall henceforth recognize
that BLO and TB have forged a long standing and unbreakable
relationship and shall never attempt to permanently divide,
or otherwise separate the two.
Condition II: Cohabitation NBLO and BLO shall agree upon
comfortable and equal living quarters for TB, its related
service equipment and riding gear. TB shall only be exposed
to the elements of nature during rides.
All other times TB shall have access to warm, dry, low
traffic living space. If at any time there should be
conflict w/ NBLO, BLO or furniture, TB shall have preference
as to where it stays. In NBLO’s absence TB shall be
permitted bedroom space (if not already arranged).
Condition III: Exclusivity and Infidelity At no time shall
NBLO, BLO, or TB be loaned out to be ridden by anyone
outside the three-way relationship. NBLO must request from
BLO permission to ride, fondle or otherwise physically
contact TB and only do so in the presence of BLO.
Condition IV: Equal Time NBLO shall be guaranteed quality
time equivalent to TB unless it conflicts with TB in which
case TB gets preference. Service time shall be guaranteed
and considered a separate requirement. In the event of
emergency, i.e. NBLO stranded, child sets hair on fire etc,
BLO shall complete whatever TB related activity as soon as
possible and attend said emergency.
In the event of an in-law visit or should for any reason,
BLO become depressed, or otherwise in need of stress relief,
BLO shall be permitted as much time w/TB or TB related
activities, magazines, books, events etc as needed until
such time BLO feels better.
Condition V: Parts NBLO and BLO will agree that BLO be
permitted and encouraged to purchase any and all TB related
equipment at any and all times, whether they be repairs,
replacements, upgrades, or just plain Chi-Chi.
Any replaced parts shall be considered cherished spares and
provided appropriate storage space equivalent to that
provided for TB, preferably under the bed, favorite closet
or on coffee table as a conversation item. New Items
immediately installed shall require TB to be put on
prominent display (i.e. in front of TV).
Newly purchased items not immediately installed shall be
put on display as a centerpiece during the day and they
shall be kept under the pillow of BLO at bedtime, unless it
is potentially dangerous to said part. This shall be for no
less than 5 days or until they are installed whichever
comes first.
Condition VI: Finance All household finance shall be
considered separate from TB finance. If conflict should
arise then TB gets preference.
Condition VII: Disposition In the event NBLO has a
compatible bike BLO can offer spare parts to be temporarily
installed for use by NBLO until such time BLO requires their
use on TB. No prior notice is required.
All equipment and The Bike they are installed upon or
intended for, shall remain the property of BLO come hell or
high water, and shall not be relinquished under any
circumstance including death, in which case the surviving
party will be obligated to complete the upgrades (expressed,
implied or dreamed of) and bury the bike with the departed,
unless TB or BLO requests a separate grave in which case
they shall be buried side by side and NBLO shall not be
buried between them.
Condition VIII: Protected Communications All TB related
communications intended for BLO, be they voice (phone
messages, visitors); print (mail-order catalogues, etc.); or
electronic (e-mail, buddies calling to ride, etc.) shall be
forwarded and delivered to BLO as expediently as possible.
Furthermore, no censorship of said communications shall
occur, and NBLO agrees to refrain from making disparaging
comments about the content of these communications and/or
their source(s).
Extended Conditions: TB shall never be the focus of an
argument nor brought up as part of one. TB shall never be
discussed w/ in-laws unless said discussion is in praise
or defense of TB. No retaliation shall ever be taken
against TB.
All of the above is to be considered iron-clad and in
stone and non negotiable, unless of course, the nonbiker
says so. Bicycle proliferation TB must be permitted to be
fruitful and multiply. After all, there can never be too
many bicycles.
Each and every bicycle, whether it be TB1, TB2 ... TB5 ...
TB9 etc, must be permitted comfortable and equal living
quarters as per Condition II above. NBLO shall not be
permitted to complain about the number of TB’s or how much
of the precious housing square-footage they consume! The
more the merrier!
--
Tom Sherman – Quad City Area
