ZeeExSixAre said:http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=58098&item=3680352269&rd=1
If you learn anything from that auction, learn that prenups are bad!
This good “prenup” has been around for a while - does anyone know who
the author is?
PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT FOR THE BIKER
This agreement acknowledges that the forthcoming marriage is an
arrangement that accepts the perpetual continuity of pre-existing
relationship between the first two parties and that a three-way
coexistence shall be created consisting of the following participants:
Spouse A (the non-biking loved one) hereafter referred to as NBLO;
Spouse B (biking loved one) hereafter referred to as BLO, and; The Bike
(the glorious one) hereafter referred to as TB.
Condition I: Acknowledgment NBLO shall henceforth recognize that BLO and
TB have forged a long standing and unbreakable relationship and shall
never attempt to permanently divide, or otherwise separate the two.
Condition II: Cohabitation NBLO and BLO shall agree upon comfortable and
equal living quarters for TB, its related service equipment and riding
gear. TB shall only be exposed to the elements of nature during rides.
All other times TB shall have access to warm, dry, low traffic living
space. If at any time there should be conflict w/ NBLO, BLO or
furniture, TB shall have preference as to where it stays. In NBLO’s
absence TB shall be permitted bedroom space (if not already arranged).
Condition III: Exclusivity and Infidelity At no time shall NBLO, BLO, or
TB be loaned out to be ridden by anyone outside the three-way
relationship. NBLO must request from BLO permission to ride, fondle or
otherwise physically contact TB and only do so in the presence of BLO.
Condition IV: Equal Time NBLO shall be guaranteed quality time
equivalent to TB unless it conflicts with TB in which case TB gets
preference. Service time shall be guaranteed and considered a separate
requirement. In the event of emergency, i.e. NBLO stranded, child sets
hair on fire etc, BLO shall complete whatever TB related activity as
soon as possible and attend said emergency.
In the event of an in-law visit or should for any reason, BLO become
depressed, or otherwise in need of stress relief, BLO shall be permitted
as much time w/TB or TB related activities, magazines, books, events etc
as needed until such time BLO feels better.
Condition V: Parts NBLO and BLO will agree that BLO be permitted and
encouraged to purchase any and all TB related equipment at any and all
times, whether they be repairs, replacements, upgrades, or just plain
Chi-Chi.
Any replaced parts shall be considered cherished spares and provided
appropriate storage space equivalent to that provided for TB, preferably
under the bed, favorite closet or on coffee table as a conversation item.
New Items immediately installed shall require TB to be put on prominent
display (i.e. in front of TV).
Newly purchased items not immediately installed shall be put on display
as a centerpiece during the day and they shall be kept under the pillow
of BLO at bedtime, unless it is potentially dangerous to said part. This
shall be for no less than 5 days or until they are installed whichever
comes first.
Condition VI: Finance All household finance shall be considered separate
from TB finance. If conflict should arise then TB gets preference.
Condition VII: Disposition In the event NBLO has a compatible bike BLO
can offer spare parts to be temporarily installed for use by NBLO until
such time BLO requires their use on TB. No prior notice is required.
All equipment and The Bike they are installed upon or intended for,
shall remain the property of BLO come hell or high water, and shall not
be relinquished under any circumstance including death, in which case
the surviving party will be obligated to complete the upgrades
(expressed, implied or dreamed of) and bury the bike with the departed,
unless TB or BLO requests a separate grave in which case they shall be
buried side by side and NBLO shall not be buried between them.
Condition VIII: Protected Communications All TB related communications
intended for BLO, be they voice (phone messages, visitors); print
(mail-order catalogues, etc.); or electronic (e-mail, buddies calling to
ride, etc.) shall be forwarded and delivered to BLO as expediently as
possible. Furthermore, no censorship of said communications shall occur,
and NBLO agrees to refrain from making disparaging comments about the
content of these communications and/or their source(s).
Extended Conditions: TB shall never be the focus of an argument nor
brought up as part of one. TB shall never be discussed w/ in-laws unless
said discussion is in praise or defense of TB. No retaliation shall ever
be taken against TB.
All of the above is to be considered iron-clad and in stone and non
negotiable, unless of course, the nonbiker says so. Bicycle
proliferation TB must be permitted to be fruitful and multiply. After
all, there can never be too many bicycles.
Each and every bicycle, whether it be TB1, TB2 ... TB5 ... TB9 etc, must
be permitted comfortable and equal living quarters as per Condition II
above. NBLO shall not be permitted to complain about the number of TB’s
or how much of the precious housing square-footage they consume! The
more the merrier!
--
Tom Sherman – Quad City Area
