Beej said:
Be sure to post a review of how well it all works out when you get a
chance to ride with it.
-Beej
Review:
Day 1: 85F and 100% Humidity. Wore the suit and on the first climb I
noticed I was slowing down. Hmmm... What gives? Is there something
wrong with my derailleur? I make it to the top and boy is it hot. I've
already finished my camelbak and I still have 10 miles to go. I was
feeling a little itchy under the armor, but it's probably the soap I
used in the shower this morning. I crashed on the first downhill. I
hit managed to land my face on a protruding rock. Now I have a shiner.
I wonder if I need a full face helmet?
Day 2: 88F and 100% humidity. I've got the suit on but it feels really
awkward. It's kind of tacking and smells funny. Even slower going and
for some reason I feel the bike is heavier. Top of the hill again and
my camelbak is bone dry. I wore an underarmour headband today because
the salt in the sweat was running into my eyes. Why am I sweating so
much? Man it was hot today, too! On the downhill I smashed the end of
my bars into a tree. Damn bark ripped right through my glove. Now I
have a black and blue hand. Hurts like hell. Maybe I should fashion
some bubblewrap pads for my hands? Oh, than itch is back and this time
on more parts of my body. I switched soap but it still there. Hmmm...
Maybe I need hypoalergenic soap?
Day 3: 83F and 95% humidity. Finally a cool dry day in the tropics.
My wife is concerned that we have something dead under the house. I am
concerned to because I think it may have died in my pressure suit. Wow,
is that some odor! Only an animal can cause that kind of stench. I
have another problem today. The label on the suit said it weighed just
three pounds, but I put it on the scale and it says 11 pounds. Those
lying [censored]! Well, I don't want to get hurt so I put it on. No
wonder I'm slower! Getting to the top of the first climb has not gotten
easier and now I have some read blisters on my skin. Why can't we get
decent soap our here? It itches so bad and now it burns. I noticed
another problem too. The suit seems to be leaking some kind of liquid
all over my bike and it's drying with a crystal like substance. In
fact, my black pressure suit is now quite gray. Odd. The downhill
didn't go to well. I hit a ditch and launched OTB. I came down with
the back of my wrist against a log. The doc says its broken. He also
told me that I have a staff infection from the blisters. I said you
mean from the soap? No, they were from having something wet constantly
rubbing against your skin. He also said I had a bad odor. I told him
something died in my body armor.
8 weeks later: 89F and 80% humidity. Well, I'm finally cleared for
riding. I go to put the pressure suit on and there seems to be a
problem with it. Whatever died in it has left eggs which seem to have
sprouted some very unique organisms. My cat tried to eat it and now
he's running around in circles. he crystal stuff is now a few inches
thick as well. When I called the bike store they told me it was
probably a hazard to my health. And I thought all along it was supposed
to protect me. I did the ride today without the armor. Wow. I must of
had a great injury recovery because I climbed that hill in no time and I
hardly touched my camelback. Boy was the downhill fun! I didn't have
to stop every 20 feet to scratch those annoying itches. I did fall
once, but managed only a few scrapes. Life is good. My wife is still
complaining about the dead animal, though.
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