bent one, car zero

[Mike Warner]

Attention, Bentmeisters,

Here at the Headbanger's School of Supine Stoicism we have a new DEAN. His name is Joshua Goldberg.
Do not confuse him with Evel Knievel, although at any given time, he's probably in about the same
amount of pain.

I trust you will give him the respect and support he deserves. If, during routine consultation, he
appears to nod-out, first try bangiing on his desk a few times. If he begins to list to the right or
left, there are pads on each end of the desk which can be used to break his fall.

Welcome and good luck, Mr. Goldberg.

mc
--
Replace "****" with "warnerm" in my email addr

Joshua Goldberg wrote:

> Well today I got hit by a car...yawn. The bent survived without a scratch, my body OTOH made a
> nice big dent in the back rightside of a fairly new Korean car. Passenger and driver (both female)
> get out and beg forgiveness....had it been a male driver I would have in2 psycho mode. (trust
> me..I know how). I was in a rush and just wrote it off as another driving hazzard. My left
> shoulder, arm and hip hurt re: what caused the dent, but my jaw hurts too, which confused me since
> my head didn't hit the car, I was also dizzy for a few hours, but that went away....maybe it was
> the sudden jolt of coming to a dead stop suddenly. What caused the accident was the woman doing a
> U-Turn on a narrow street and she ran out of street and threw the car in reverse to try the turn
> again just as I rode passed the back of her car. Odd feeling getting whacked from the side,
> usually I just get hit from the front or rear. This is also the 1st time everyone seemed more
> concerned about how I was doing...usually people are asking about the bent or checking their car
> for damages while I'm laying on the road and being ignored. I am an excellent cyclist surrounded
> by car drivers who are lost in space....ah the joys of urban riding in winter.

 

[Mike Warner]

Not quite right. THESE are the rules.

When the car is driven by a single man, a real man makes an instant judgment about whether he is
capable of taking him out or not. If a real man feels he can take-out the driver in his (perhaps)
weakened condition, he does, targeting both the genitals and eyes, if possible. At the very least,
the driver should not be allowed to (further) reproduce himself. If a real man does not feel he can
take-out the driver, then he notes the man's license plate, later obtains his home address and sends
him a complementary packet of Anthrax. When the car is driven by a married man, a real man realizes
that the driver was more than likely trying to commit suicide at the time they collided and does
nothing, returning the driver to the hell in which he currently burns. When the car is driven by a
man who has a male passenger, a real man makes a quick judgment about their sexual orientation. If
the two men appear to be homosexuals, a real man does nothing, knowing that the two will in all
likelihood die from an aids-related illness in the near future anyway. If the two men do not appear
to be gay, then a real man will do nothing, note the license plate, obtain their home addresses and
later torch both their homes or apartments in quick succession. When the car is driven by multiple
males, a real man does what he needs to do to get all the parties back in the vehicle and then
throws-in a micro-molotov made from a spare water bottle and napalm.

Next time I will describe how a REAL MAN deals with female drivers.

mc
--
Replace "****" with "warnerm" in my email addr

baronn1 wrote:

> ok, I tried to be good, but I can't resist. If a real man initiates a street fight if the accident
> is caused by a male, when two females cause the accident, it seems like some bartering is in
> order...
>
> "Joshua Goldberg" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> the book is in progress and..as for trying to initiate a street fight
> being
>> Brilliant (thankyou)....good that we both agree that this is what REAL men do.
>>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>> ------------------------------
>> "Steve in SC" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>> > > > Passenger and driver (both female) get out and beg
> forgiveness....had
>> it
>> > > > been a male driver I would have in2 psycho mode.
>> >
>> > I find it interesting that you respond to an accident based on the sex of the driver and
>> > passenger. If it's a female forget about it. But if it's a male try to initiate a street fight.
>> > Absolutely brilliant. You should write a book.
>

 

[Torben Scheel]

"Joshua Goldberg" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Age 60 is NOT that old, I'll be there myself in 8 years.

Then this one was 18 years away from you.

> I am not prone to physical violence. I am however inclined to verbally
state
> my position in a somewhat loud and abusive manner, combined with a well understood hand gesture.

Well, the gesture was there for sure ;-), but he didnt stop, so I was a bit cooler when I finally
spoke to him.

> Car drivers are NOT going to drive in a reckless fashion with the immunity they have enjoyed in
> the past. An offshoot of the Police switching (in a big way) to Bicycle patrols has been (at least
> in Toronto) the Police are coming down really hard on car drivers and their stupid tricks. A few
> Bicycle cops have been injured by
car
> drivers and the more it happens, the more the Police will chase down and nail offending car
> drivers.

Alas, no bicycle patrols here yet. Maybe i Copenhagen.
>
> I have observed a greater degree of respect for cyclists happening
downtown
> over the past 3 years. Each year the respect level is increasing and hopefully by the time I do
> hit age 60...driving in the city core will not
be
> akin to driving through the gauntlet of doom.
>
> I am remarkably courteous towards car drivers (who) treat me well. I wave,
I
> smile, I salute, I have even tapped on windows at stop lights to thank drivers for waiting for me
> cross and intersection etc. I treat those with respect (who) treat me well. This will help them
dealing
> with other cyclists in the future.

I agree with this attitude. When I'm tired, I'm not very good at it though.
>
> OTOH You will not get the respect of car poor drivers (unless) you push
back
> and let them know you have rights as well.

The problem is to get them to stop so you can speak/yell/whatever to them. Gestures won't make
anybody react better "next time". Any ideas here?

 

[Rod Dabe]

For a limited time only..BENT RIDERS GONE WILD..Thats right, Bent riders completly out of control.
See Bent Riders denting car fenders, knocking mirrors off, blasting cars with Air-Zound horns,
blasting cars with guns. These arn't actors these are real Bent Riders. Plus if you act now get a
second DVD aboslutly free, BENT RIDERS GONE WILD SNOOP DOG EDITION (no ,not the rapper, the little
dog from the comic strip)....................

 

[Robert Siegel]

Well, I can think of three possibilities. First, Joshua may be exaggerating. ( That happens a LOT on
this NG, especially in regard to "average" speed.) Hopefully that's it. Or he may have a
not-so-subconscious death wish. If that's it, a few visits to a shrink might save his life. Finally,
he just might not be too bright. If that's it, it's curtains for Joshua.

--
Gator Bob Siegel EasyRacers Ti Rush "Joshua Goldberg" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Well today I got hit by a car...yawn. The bent survived without a scratch, my body OTOH made a
> nice big dent in the back rightside of a fairly new Korean car. Passenger and driver (both female)
> get out and beg forgiveness....had it been a male driver I would have in2 psycho mode. (trust
> me..I know how). I was in a rush and just wrote it off as another driving hazzard. My left
> shoulder, arm and hip hurt re: what caused the dent, but my jaw hurts too, which confused me since
> my head didn't hit the car, I was also dizzy for a few hours, but that went away....maybe it was
> the sudden jolt of coming to
a
> dead stop suddenly. What caused the accident was the woman doing a U-Turn on a narrow street
and
> she ran out of street and threw the car in reverse to try the turn again just as I rode passed the
> back of her car. Odd feeling getting whacked
from
> the side, usually I just get hit from the front or rear. This is also the 1st time everyone seemed
> more concerned about how I was doing...usually people are asking about the bent or checking their
> car for damages while
I'm
> laying on the road and being ignored. I am an excellent cyclist surrounded by car drivers who are
> lost in space....ah the joys of urban riding in winter.

 

[Joshua Goldberg]

OUCH
#1....I tend to under-exaggerate.
#2....Jewish males die younger than their wives (because) we want to.
#3...hmmm 186 I.Q., made my 1st million by age 22, taught school for a while
(needed a break from business), yep #3 sounds good to me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------
"Robert Siegel" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:rba%[email protected]...
> Well, I can think of three possibilities. First, Joshua may be
exaggerating.
> ( That happens a LOT on this NG, especially in regard to "average" speed.) Hopefully that's it. Or
> he may have a not-so-subconscious death wish. If that's it, a few
visits
> to a shrink might save his life. Finally, he just might not be too
bright.
> If that's it, it's curtains for Joshua.
>
> --
> Gator Bob Siegel EasyRacers Ti Rush "Joshua Goldberg" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > Well today I got hit by a car...yawn. The bent survived without a
scratch,
> > my body OTOH made a nice big dent in the back rightside of a fairly new Korean car. Passenger
> > and driver (both female) get out and beg forgiveness....had it been a male driver I would have
> > in2 psycho mode. (trust me..I know how).
I
> > was in a rush and just wrote it off as another driving hazzard. My left shoulder, arm and hip
> > hurt re: what caused the dent, but my jaw hurts
too,
> > which confused me since my head didn't hit the car, I was also dizzy for
a
> > few hours, but that went away....maybe it was the sudden jolt of coming
to
> a
> > dead stop suddenly. What caused the accident was the woman doing a U-Turn on a narrow street
> and
> > she ran out of street and threw the car in reverse to try the turn again just as I rode passed
> > the back of her car. Odd feeling getting whacked
> from
> > the side, usually I just get hit from the front or rear. This is also
the
> > 1st time everyone seemed more concerned about how I was doing...usually people are asking about
> > the bent or checking their car for damages while
> I'm
> > laying on the road and being ignored. I am an excellent cyclist surrounded by car drivers who
> > are lost in space....ah the joys of urban riding in winter.
> >
>

 

[Skip]

"Robert Siegel" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:rba%[email protected]...
> Well, I can think of three possibilities. First, Joshua may be
exaggerating.
> ( That happens a LOT on this NG, especially in regard to "average" speed.) Hopefully that's it. Or
> he may have a not-so-subconscious death wish. If that's it, a few
visits
> to a shrink might save his life. Finally, he just might not be too
bright.
> If that's it, it's curtains for Joshua.
>

I don't know about sub conscious death wishes, but according to Joshua some 2300 cyclists are hit by
cars per year in Toronto. At a minimum I think it could be assumed, especially considering their
shorter riding season and the number of cyclist hit by cars per day, that the first requirement for
a Toronto cyclist would be to have a high tolerance for pain.

Could Toronto be the worst cycling city in North America? Can any other city exceed Toronto's 2300
car/bike accidents per year?

 

[Robert Siegel]

Since Joshua appears to be gifted with a high level of abstract reasoning power ... perhaps you're
right about #4 ...Toronto is a VERY bad place to ride a bike. Which tends to point us back to #2 ...
a not-so-subconscious death wish. ;-))

--
Gator Bob Siegel EasyRacers Ti Rush "skip" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Robert Siegel" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:rba%[email protected]...
> > Well, I can think of three possibilities. First, Joshua may be
> exaggerating.
> > ( That happens a LOT on this NG, especially in regard to "average"
speed.)
> > Hopefully that's it. Or he may have a not-so-subconscious death wish. If that's it, a few
> visits
> > to a shrink might save his life. Finally, he just might not be too
> bright.
> > If that's it, it's curtains for Joshua.
> >
>
> I don't know about sub conscious death wishes, but according to Joshua
some
> 2300 cyclists are hit by cars per year in Toronto. At a minimum I think
it
> could be assumed, especially considering their shorter riding season and
the
> number of cyclist hit by cars per day, that the first requirement for a Toronto cyclist would be
> to have a high tolerance for pain.
>
> Could Toronto be the worst cycling city in North America? Can any other city exceed Toronto's 2300
> car/bike accidents per year?

 

[Joshua Goldberg]

Blasting cars with Air-Zounds horns (not me....I think those horns are Wimpy). I use a REAL Air
horn...a Falcon Marine Air Horn. Have used nothing but Falcon Air Horns since 1990, they fit into a
Water Bottle Cage mounted on my handle bar with the push button so close I can keep my hand on the
grip and use my index finger to push the button.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----
"Rod Dabe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> For a limited time only..BENT RIDERS GONE WILD..Thats right, Bent riders completly out of control.
> See Bent Riders denting car fenders, knocking mirrors off, blasting cars with Air-Zound horns,
> blasting cars with guns. These arn't actors these are real Bent Riders. Plus if you act now get a
> second DVD aboslutly free, BENT RIDERS GONE WILD SNOOP DOG EDITION (no ,not the rapper, the little
> dog from the comic strip)....................

 

[Tom Blum]

The yiddish phrase best refering to our Joshua is "Meshugener", which means "crazy as a loon".

cite your source: http://www.pass.to/glossary/gloz2.htm#letm

--
Miles of Smiles,

Tom Blum Winter Haven, Florida Homebuilts: SWB Tour Easy Clone Speed Machine Clone

www.gate.net/~teblum

 

[Skip]

"Joshua Goldberg" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:8eb%[email protected]... <snip>
> #3...hmmm 186 I.Q., made my 1st million by age 22, taught school for a
while
> (needed a break from business), yep #3 sounds good to me.

Are trying to say you are smarter than Doug Huffman?

Disclaimer: I'm a fool masquerading as a person with good sense or something like that.

 

[Joshua Goldberg]

ah yes, but a happy loon
------------------------
"Tom Blum" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> The yiddish phrase best refering to our Joshua is "Meshugener", which
means
> "crazy as a loon".
>
> cite your source: http://www.pass.to/glossary/gloz2.htm#letm
>
>
> --
> Miles of Smiles,
>
> Tom Blum Winter Haven, Florida Homebuilts: SWB Tour Easy Clone Speed Machine Clone
>
> www.gate.net/~teblum

 

[Tom Sherman]

Joshua Goldberg wrote:
>
> ... #3...hmmm 186 I.Q, made my 1st million by age 22....

It is certainly possible for an intelligent and successful person to exhibit poor judgement, e.g.
Bill Clinton.

Tom Sherman - Quad Cities USA (Illinois side) RANS "Wavewind" and Rocket, Earth Cycles Sunset and
Dragonflyer

 

[Robert Siegel]

Eureka! Poor judgment. The simplest answer is the best answer. Occam's Razor again.

--
Gator Bob Siegel EasyRacers Ti Rush "Tom Sherman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> Joshua Goldberg wrote:
> >
> > ... #3...hmmm 186 I.Q, made my 1st million by age 22....
>
> It is certainly possible for an intelligent and successful person to exhibit poor judgement, e.g.
> Bill Clinton.
>
> Tom Sherman - Quad Cities USA (Illinois side) RANS "Wavewind" and Rocket, Earth Cycles Sunset and
> Dragonflyer

 

[Dean Arthur]

Once hit by motorist turning into main street in front of hospital. Car t-boned the bike, throwing
me against parked car. Colliding car then accelerated away, I thought. I crawl over to bike to
evaluate damage to it [unridable] while woman runs to me saying, with sadness in her voice, "Oh I'm
so sorry. It's all my fault. I was watching the garbage truck following you and thought I could beat
it through the intersection." Got me a new cycle - for 1,050! Next time it happened man comes
running back to crash site cussing me out for being where he went. Cop sitting across street walks
across, asks for man's license and writes him a ticket for wreckless driving. Got a slightly more
expensive bike that time - 1,575. Last time it happened, in 1984, I got a new Aspencade murdercycle
for 7,950 out-the-door. Must have murdered his lo-rate with insurance company.