bent one, car zero

Attention, Bentmeisters,

Here at the Headbanger's School of Supine Stoicism we have a new DEAN. His name is Joshua Goldberg.
Do not confuse him with Evel Knievel, although at any given time, he's probably in about the same
amount of pain.

I trust you will give him the respect and support he deserves. If, during routine consultation, he
appears to nod-out, first try bangiing on his desk a few times. If he begins to list to the right or
left, there are pads on each end of the desk which can be used to break his fall.

Welcome and good luck, Mr. Goldberg.

mc
--
Replace "[censored]" with "warnerm" in my email addr

Joshua Goldberg said:

Well today I got hit by a car...yawn. The bent survived without a scratch, my body OTOH made a
nice big dent in the back rightside of a fairly new Korean car. Passenger and driver (both female)
get out and beg forgiveness....had it been a male driver I would have in2 psycho mode. (trust
me..I know how). I was in a rush and just wrote it off as another driving hazzard. My left
shoulder, arm and hip hurt re: what caused the dent, but my jaw hurts too, which confused me since
my head didn't hit the car, I was also dizzy for a few hours, but that went away....maybe it was
the sudden jolt of coming to a dead stop suddenly. What caused the accident was the woman doing a
U-Turn on a narrow street and she ran out of street and threw the car in reverse to try the turn
again just as I rode passed the back of her car. Odd feeling getting whacked from the side,
usually I just get hit from the front or rear. This is also the 1st time everyone seemed more
concerned about how I was doing...usually people are asking about the bent or checking their car
for damages while I'm laying on the road and being ignored. I am an excellent cyclist surrounded
by car drivers who are lost in space....ah the joys of urban riding in winter.

Not quite right. THESE are the rules.

When the car is driven by a single man, a real man makes an instant judgment about whether he is
capable of taking him out or not. If a real man feels he can take-out the driver in his (perhaps)
weakened condition, he does, targeting both the genitals and eyes, if possible. At the very least,
the driver should not be allowed to (further) reproduce himself. If a real man does not feel he can
take-out the driver, then he notes the man's license plate, later obtains his home address and sends
him a complementary packet of Anthrax. When the car is driven by a married man, a real man realizes
that the driver was more than likely trying to commit suicide at the time they collided and does
nothing, returning the driver to the hell in which he currently burns. When the car is driven by a
man who has a male passenger, a real man makes a quick judgment about their sexual orientation. If
the two men appear to be homosexuals, a real man does nothing, knowing that the two will in all
likelihood die from an aids-related illness in the near future anyway. If the two men do not appear
to be gay, then a real man will do nothing, note the license plate, obtain their home addresses and
later torch both their homes or apartments in quick succession. When the car is driven by multiple
males, a real man does what he needs to do to get all the parties back in the vehicle and then
throws-in a micro-molotov made from a spare water bottle and napalm.

Next time I will describe how a REAL MAN deals with female drivers.

mc
--
Replace "[censored]" with "warnerm" in my email addr

baronn1 said:

ok, I tried to be good, but I can't resist. If a real man initiates a street fight if the accident
is caused by a male, when two females cause the accident, it seems like some bartering is in
order...

"Joshua Goldberg" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

the book is in progress and..as for trying to initiate a street fight

being

Quoted message said:

Brilliant (thankyou)....good that we both agree that this is what REAL men do.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quoted message said:

--

Quoted message said:

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"Steve in SC" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

> > Passenger and driver (both female) get out and beg

forgiveness....had

Quoted message said:

it

Quoted message said:

> > been a male driver I would have in2 psycho mode.

I find it interesting that you respond to an accident based on the sex of the driver and
passenger. If it's a female forget about it. But if it's a male try to initiate a street fight.
Absolutely brilliant. You should write a book.

"Joshua Goldberg" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Age 60 is NOT that old, I'll be there myself in 8 years.

Then this one was 18 years away from you.

Quoted message said:

I am not prone to physical violence. I am however inclined to verbally

state

Quoted message said:

my position in a somewhat loud and abusive manner, combined with a well understood hand gesture.

Well, the gesture was there for sure ;-), but he didnt stop, so I was a bit cooler when I finally
spoke to him.

Quoted message said:

Car drivers are NOT going to drive in a reckless fashion with the immunity they have enjoyed in
the past. An offshoot of the Police switching (in a big way) to Bicycle patrols has been (at least
in Toronto) the Police are coming down really hard on car drivers and their stupid tricks. A few
Bicycle cops have been injured by

car

Quoted message said:

drivers and the more it happens, the more the Police will chase down and nail offending car
drivers.

Alas, no bicycle patrols here yet. Maybe i Copenhagen.

Quoted message said:

I have observed a greater degree of respect for cyclists happening

downtown

Quoted message said:

over the past 3 years. Each year the respect level is increasing and hopefully by the time I do
hit age 60...driving in the city core will not

be

Quoted message said:

akin to driving through the gauntlet of doom.

I am remarkably courteous towards car drivers (who) treat me well. I wave,

I

Quoted message said:

smile, I salute, I have even tapped on windows at stop lights to thank drivers for waiting for me
cross and intersection etc. I treat those with respect (who) treat me well. This will help them

dealing

Quoted message said:

with other cyclists in the future.

I agree with this attitude. When I'm tired, I'm not very good at it though.

Quoted message said:

OTOH You will not get the respect of car poor drivers (unless) you push

back

Quoted message said:

and let them know you have rights as well.

The problem is to get them to stop so you can speak/yell/whatever to them. Gestures won't make
anybody react better "next time". Any ideas here?

For a limited time only..BENT RIDERS GONE WILD..Thats right, Bent riders completly out of control.
See Bent Riders denting car fenders, knocking mirrors off, blasting cars with Air-Zound horns,
blasting cars with guns. These arn't actors these are real Bent Riders. Plus if you act now get a
second DVD aboslutly free, BENT RIDERS GONE WILD SNOOP DOG EDITION (no ,not the rapper, the little
dog from the comic strip)....................

Well, I can think of three possibilities. First, Joshua may be exaggerating. ( That happens a LOT on
this NG, especially in regard to "average" speed.) Hopefully that's it. Or he may have a
not-so-subconscious death wish. If that's it, a few visits to a shrink might save his life. Finally,
he just might not be too bright. If that's it, it's curtains for Joshua.

--
Gator Bob Siegel EasyRacers Ti Rush "Joshua Goldberg" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well today I got hit by a car...yawn. The bent survived without a scratch, my body OTOH made a
nice big dent in the back rightside of a fairly new Korean car. Passenger and driver (both female)
get out and beg forgiveness....had it been a male driver I would have in2 psycho mode. (trust
me..I know how). I was in a rush and just wrote it off as another driving hazzard. My left
shoulder, arm and hip hurt re: what caused the dent, but my jaw hurts too, which confused me since
my head didn't hit the car, I was also dizzy for a few hours, but that went away....maybe it was
the sudden jolt of coming to

a

Quoted message said:

dead stop suddenly. What caused the accident was the woman doing a U-Turn on a narrow street

and

Quoted message said:

she ran out of street and threw the car in reverse to try the turn again just as I rode passed the
back of her car. Odd feeling getting whacked

from

Quoted message said:

the side, usually I just get hit from the front or rear. This is also the 1st time everyone seemed
more concerned about how I was doing...usually people are asking about the bent or checking their
car for damages while

I'm

Quoted message said:

laying on the road and being ignored. I am an excellent cyclist surrounded by car drivers who are
lost in space....ah the joys of urban riding in winter.

OUCH
#1....I tend to under-exaggerate.
#2....Jewish males die younger than their wives (because) we want to.
#3...hmmm 186 I.Q., made my 1st million by age 22, taught school for a while
(needed a break from business), yep #3 sounds good to me.
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-------------------------------
"Robert Siegel" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well, I can think of three possibilities. First, Joshua may be

exaggerating.

Quoted message said:

( That happens a LOT on this NG, especially in regard to "average" speed.) Hopefully that's it. Or
he may have a not-so-subconscious death wish. If that's it, a few

visits

Quoted message said:

to a shrink might save his life. Finally, he just might not be too

bright.

Quoted message said:

If that's it, it's curtains for Joshua.

--
Gator Bob Siegel EasyRacers Ti Rush "Joshua Goldberg" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well today I got hit by a car...yawn. The bent survived without a

scratch,

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

my body OTOH made a nice big dent in the back rightside of a fairly new Korean car. Passenger
and driver (both female) get out and beg forgiveness....had it been a male driver I would have
in2 psycho mode. (trust me..I know how).

I

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

was in a rush and just wrote it off as another driving hazzard. My left shoulder, arm and hip
hurt re: what caused the dent, but my jaw hurts

too,

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

which confused me since my head didn't hit the car, I was also dizzy for

a

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

few hours, but that went away....maybe it was the sudden jolt of coming

to

Quoted message said:

a

Quoted message said:

dead stop suddenly. What caused the accident was the woman doing a U-Turn on a narrow street

and

Quoted message said:

she ran out of street and threw the car in reverse to try the turn again just as I rode passed
the back of her car. Odd feeling getting whacked

from

Quoted message said:

the side, usually I just get hit from the front or rear. This is also

the

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

1st time everyone seemed more concerned about how I was doing...usually people are asking about
the bent or checking their car for damages while

I'm

Quoted message said:

laying on the road and being ignored. I am an excellent cyclist surrounded by car drivers who
are lost in space....ah the joys of urban riding in winter.

"Robert Siegel" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well, I can think of three possibilities. First, Joshua may be

exaggerating.

Quoted message said:

( That happens a LOT on this NG, especially in regard to "average" speed.) Hopefully that's it. Or
he may have a not-so-subconscious death wish. If that's it, a few

visits

Quoted message said:

to a shrink might save his life. Finally, he just might not be too

bright.

Quoted message said:

If that's it, it's curtains for Joshua.

I don't know about sub conscious death wishes, but according to Joshua some 2300 cyclists are hit by
cars per year in Toronto. At a minimum I think it could be assumed, especially considering their
shorter riding season and the number of cyclist hit by cars per day, that the first requirement for
a Toronto cyclist would be to have a high tolerance for pain.

Could Toronto be the worst cycling city in North America? Can any other city exceed Toronto's 2300
car/bike accidents per year?

Since Joshua appears to be gifted with a high level of abstract reasoning power ... perhaps you're
right about #4 ...Toronto is a VERY bad place to ride a bike. Which tends to point us back to #2 ...
a not-so-subconscious death wish. ;-))

--
Gator Bob Siegel EasyRacers Ti Rush "skip" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Robert Siegel" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well, I can think of three possibilities. First, Joshua may be

exaggerating.

Quoted message said:

( That happens a LOT on this NG, especially in regard to "average"

speed.)

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Hopefully that's it. Or he may have a not-so-subconscious death wish. If that's it, a few

visits

Quoted message said:

to a shrink might save his life. Finally, he just might not be too

bright.

Quoted message said:

If that's it, it's curtains for Joshua.

I don't know about sub conscious death wishes, but according to Joshua

some

Quoted message said:

2300 cyclists are hit by cars per year in Toronto. At a minimum I think

it

Quoted message said:

could be assumed, especially considering their shorter riding season and

the

Quoted message said:

number of cyclist hit by cars per day, that the first requirement for a Toronto cyclist would be
to have a high tolerance for pain.

Could Toronto be the worst cycling city in North America? Can any other city exceed Toronto's 2300
car/bike accidents per year?

Blasting cars with Air-Zounds horns (not me....I think those horns are Wimpy). I use a REAL Air
horn...a Falcon Marine Air Horn. Have used nothing but Falcon Air Horns since 1990, they fit into a
Water Bottle Cage mounted on my handle bar with the push button so close I can keep my hand on the
grip and use my index finger to push the button.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"Rod Dabe" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

For a limited time only..BENT RIDERS GONE WILD..Thats right, Bent riders completly out of control.
See Bent Riders denting car fenders, knocking mirrors off, blasting cars with Air-Zound horns,
blasting cars with guns. These arn't actors these are real Bent Riders. Plus if you act now get a
second DVD aboslutly free, BENT RIDERS GONE WILD SNOOP DOG EDITION (no ,not the rapper, the little
dog from the comic strip)....................

The yiddish phrase best refering to our Joshua is "Meshugener", which means "crazy as a loon".

cite your source: pass.togloz2.htmOpen ↗

--
Miles of Smiles,

Tom Blum Winter Haven, Florida Homebuilts: SWB Tour Easy Clone Speed Machine Clone

www.gate.net/~teblum

"Joshua Goldberg" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]... <snip>

Quoted message said:

#3...hmmm 186 I.Q., made my 1st million by age 22, taught school for a

while

Quoted message said:

(needed a break from business), yep #3 sounds good to me.

Are trying to say you are smarter than Doug Huffman?

Disclaimer: I'm a fool masquerading as a person with good sense or something like that.

ah yes, but a happy loon
------------------------
"Tom Blum" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

The yiddish phrase best refering to our Joshua is "Meshugener", which

means

Quoted message said:

"crazy as a loon".

cite your source: pass.togloz2.htmOpen ↗

--
Miles of Smiles,

Tom Blum Winter Haven, Florida Homebuilts: SWB Tour Easy Clone Speed Machine Clone

www.gate.net/~teblum

Joshua Goldberg said:

... #3...hmmm 186 I.Q, made my 1st million by age 22....

It is certainly possible for an intelligent and successful person to exhibit poor judgement, e.g.
Bill Clinton.

Tom Sherman - Quad Cities USA (Illinois side) RANS "Wavewind" and Rocket, Earth Cycles Sunset and
Dragonflyer

Eureka! Poor judgment. The simplest answer is the best answer. Occam's Razor again.

--
Gator Bob Siegel EasyRacers Ti Rush "Tom Sherman" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Joshua Goldberg said:

... #3...hmmm 186 I.Q, made my 1st million by age 22....

It is certainly possible for an intelligent and successful person to exhibit poor judgement, e.g.
Bill Clinton.

Tom Sherman - Quad Cities USA (Illinois side) RANS "Wavewind" and Rocket, Earth Cycles Sunset and
Dragonflyer

Once hit by motorist turning into main street in front of hospital. Car t-boned the bike, throwing
me against parked car. Colliding car then accelerated away, I thought. I crawl over to bike to
evaluate damage to it [unridable] while woman runs to me saying, with sadness in her voice, "Oh I'm
so sorry. It's all my fault. I was watching the garbage truck following you and thought I could beat
it through the intersection." Got me a new cycle - for 1,050! Next time it happened man comes
running back to crash site cussing me out for being where he went. Cop sitting across street walks
across, asks for man's license and writes him a ticket for wreckless driving. Got a slightly more
expensive bike that time - 1,575. Last time it happened, in 1984, I got a new Aspencade murdercycle
for 7,950 out-the-door. Must have murdered his lo-rate with insurance company.