Ack! I can't stand being stuck inside anymore. I am still sick, still
staying home from work. I feel better than I did, but not totally well
yet. My boss made me stay home today, which is probably good, because kids
are just bags of germs and I'm still recovering.
Every time I get back in the habit of working out, I get sick. :o( I
tried doing some wall pushups today and I got dizzy and hit my head on the
wall. It was kind of funny, but ouch. My throat is still scratchy, so
I've been living on chicken broth with spinach and sugar-free popsicles. I
just lay on the couch and watch tv all day, drifting in and out of sleep,
like I used to do when I was a fat lazy slob, only this time I'm not eating
macaroni and cheese and potato chips.
My eating is totally reversed from what it was this past month, my first
month of smobriety. Before, my stomach wasn't hungry, but I kept feeding
my mouth anyway, in lieu of smoking. Now, with this sore throat and mucus
and dry cracked lips, my mouth wants nothing to with food even when my
stomach is growling. Maybe this break from pigging out is what I needed to
get back on track. *fingers crossed*
I gained a horrible amount of weight since I quit smoking. It's hard to
even say it. Fif. ugh. Fi . . . ft. Ack! Don't look at me! Fif-TEEEN
POUNDS!!! ARGHHH!!! In one stupid month. I have to tell you, size 12
felt a lot better on the way down than it does on the way back up.
The only thing that has kept me sane, (assuming I am sane, a big fat
ASSumption) has been working out, and now I've missed a whole week of that.
I tell you one thing though, I would rather be fat than a smoker, I now
know this for sure. I am sick so often because of my smoking. It hasn't
been long enough since I quit for my body to recover, which is most likely
why I am sick now.
My first round of weight loss was done with the aid of the foul crutch of
smoking. When I am able to breathe without choking again, hopefully by
Monday, Round 2 will start. This will be one of those Life Tests, where I
get to see how strong I _really_ am. Add to the mix the fact that I am no
longer in a low-carb household, since my dad gave it up. My environment now
includes bread and chocolatey treats. Will I be able to resist temptation,
when it is right there in the cabinet above the freezer, and I no longer
have the option of having a smoke instead when I feel the urge to munch? da
da da dum . . . Drama! Action! Turmoil! Stay tuned . . .
--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick
I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.