Au Naturel?

Bruce W.1 said:

This glossary:
http://www.bicycling.com/tourdefrance/facts/glossary/0,3494,s1,00.html
describes *Au Naturel* as:
When riders stop off the back of the pack to take a leak in the woods.
During crucial stages pissing is done on the bike, but when the pack is
tooling along slowly riders will stop. At this point Gerry from Radio
Tour will announce riders are taking, l'au naturel.

So the other day I was pondering this matter while riding; how to take a
whiz while riding. My [censored] is not long enough to reach around my waist
so I gave up on the idea.

Now I learn that in the Tour de France these guys whiz while riding. I'm
left wondering how they do this.

Maybe this length matter is what separates the pros from the amateurs,
but I doubt it.

Maybe they just [censored] their pants. Maybe that's what the second water
bottle is for. Maybe they wear a diaper. Maybe their Johnson is
connected to a tube. But I doubt all of these too.

Can anyone shed some light on this topic? How does one whiz while riding?

According to a friend who does it, you roll up the leg of your shorts.
Or don't bother. It all gets washed by someone else at the end of the
stage anyway.

"Zog The Undeniable" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:40ead7e2.0@entanet

Quoted message said:

Bruce W.1 wrote:

[...]

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Can anyone shed some light on this topic? How does one whiz while
riding?

According to a friend who does it, you roll up the leg of your shorts.
Or don't bother. It all gets washed by someone else at the end of the
stage anyway.

Your [censored] gets washed by someone else at the end of the stage? Wow!
That's professionalism!

--

A: Top-posters.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on Usenet?

DRS said:

Your [censored] gets washed by someone else at the end of the stage? Wow!
That's professionalism!

I think they're called "assisted showers" in the seedier parts of London!

"Bruce W.1" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:cFAGc.7503$pY2.5986@lakeread01...

Quoted message said:

This glossary:
http://www.bicycling.com/tourdefrance/facts/glossary/0,3494,s1,00.html
describes *Au Naturel* as:
When riders stop off the back of the pack to take a leak in the woods.
During crucial stages pissing is done on the bike, but when the pack is
tooling along slowly riders will stop. At this point Gerry from Radio
Tour will announce riders are taking, l'au naturel.

So the other day I was pondering this matter while riding; how to take a
whiz while riding. My [censored] is not long enough to reach around my waist
so I gave up on the idea.

Now I learn that in the Tour de France these guys whiz while riding.
I'm left wondering how they do this.

Maybe this length matter is what separates the pros from the amateurs,
but I doubt it.

Maybe they just [censored] their pants. Maybe that's what the second water
bottle is for. Maybe they wear a diaper. Maybe their Johnson is
connected to a tube. But I doubt all of these too.

Can anyone shed some light on this topic? How does one whiz while riding?

Thanks for your help.

This question is more appropriate for the group rec.bicycles.racing.

Thanks.
--
Marty

It is a competitive edge, why they carry those little water bottles
around. It is said to be for drink but they are trying not to shock the
"-fidels". So by drinking as much water as possible they can give the
arrears the golden showers ad infinitum and thus gain an advantage as
their competitors slow down to avoid being too overwhelmed.

OK Ill stop here.

<snip>

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Can anyone shed some light on this topic? How does one whiz while riding?

Thanks for your help.

This question is more appropriate for the group rec.bicycles.racing.

Thanks.
--
Marty

The QUESTION's not too bad, but the ANSWERS definitely belong over there!

M

Marty said:

"Bruce W.1" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:cFAGc.7503$pY2.5986@lakeread01...

Quoted message said:

This glossary:
http://www.bicycling.com/tourdefrance/facts/glossary/0,3494,s1,00.html
describes *Au Naturel* as:
When riders stop off the back of the pack to take a leak in the woods.
During crucial stages pissing is done on the bike, but when the pack is
tooling along slowly riders will stop. At this point Gerry from Radio
Tour will announce riders are taking, l'au naturel.

So the other day I was pondering this matter while riding; how to take a
whiz while riding. My [censored] is not long enough to reach around my waist
so I gave up on the idea.

Now I learn that in the Tour de France these guys whiz while riding.
I'm left wondering how they do this.

Maybe this length matter is what separates the pros from the amateurs,
but I doubt it.

Maybe they just [censored] their pants. Maybe that's what the second water
bottle is for. Maybe they wear a diaper. Maybe their Johnson is
connected to a tube. But I doubt all of these too.

Can anyone shed some light on this topic? How does one whiz while riding?

Thanks for your help.

This question is more appropriate for the group rec.bicycles.racing.

Thanks.
--
Marty

Seems technical to me. And I must admit, my curiousity is now piqued. I
would think that hosing on yourself could cause you to possibly develope
a rash or irritation.

Life is Good!
Jeff

"Jeff Starr" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
|
|
| Marty wrote:
| > "Bruce W.1" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
| > news:cFAGc.7503$pY2.5986@lakeread01...
| >
| >>This glossary:
| >>http://www.bicycling.com/tourdefrance/facts/glossary/0,3494,s1,00.html
| >>describes *Au Naturel* as:
| >>When riders stop off the back of the pack to take a leak in the woods.
| >>During crucial stages pissing is done on the bike, but when the pack is
| >>tooling along slowly riders will stop. At this point Gerry from Radio
| >>Tour will announce riders are taking, l'au naturel.
| >>
| >>So the other day I was pondering this matter while riding; how to take a
| >>whiz while riding. My [censored] is not long enough to reach around my waist
| >>so I gave up on the idea.
| >>
| >>Now I learn that in the Tour de France these guys whiz while riding.
| >>I'm left wondering how they do this.
| >>
| >>Maybe this length matter is what separates the pros from the amateurs,
| >>but I doubt it.
| >>
| >>Maybe they just [censored] their pants. Maybe that's what the second water
| >>bottle is for. Maybe they wear a diaper. Maybe their Johnson is
| >>connected to a tube. But I doubt all of these too.
| >>
| >>Can anyone shed some light on this topic? How does one whiz while
riding?
| >>
| >>Thanks for your help.
| >
| >
| > This question is more appropriate for the group rec.bicycles.racing.
| >
| > Thanks.
| > --
| > Marty
| >
| >
| Seems technical to me. And I must admit, my curiousity is now piqued. I
| would think that hosing on yourself could cause you to possibly develope
| a rash or irritation.
|
| Life is Good!
| Jeff

They say it's an effective cure for athlete's foot. No personal experiences;
just going on what 'they' say.....
ED3

Click (here) if you would like to see pictures of Homer Simpson peeing his
pants while riding a bike.

Leo Lichtman said:

Click (here) if you would like to see pictures of Homer Simpson
peeing his pants while riding a bike.

Nicely done, I must say.

Bill "anyone but Mr. Burns" S.

Quoted message said:

Now I learn that in the Tour de France these guys whiz while riding.
I'm left wondering how they do this.

Maybe this length matter is what separates the pros from the amateurs,
but I doubt it.

Maybe they just [censored] their pants. Maybe that's what the second water
bottle is for. Maybe they wear a diaper. Maybe their Johnson is
connected to a tube. But I doubt all of these too.

Can anyone shed some light on this topic? How does one whiz while riding?

Another poster got it right; you roll up your shorts. Size doesn't matter
in this case, aside from having to find it (on a cold ride, there might not
be much there).

Triathletes are known for just going in their shorts, but it's not the best
way to go (so to speak); most have noticed that, when riding in the rain,
one gets a lot more saddle sore. Cycling in soaked shorts is simply going
to be less comfortable.

--Mike-- Chain Reaction Bicycles
www.ChainReactionBicycles.com

Mike Jacoubowsky said:

Another poster got it right; you roll up your shorts. Size doesn't matter
in this case, aside from having to find it (on a cold ride, there might not
be much there).

Triathletes are known for just going in their shorts, but it's not the best
way to go (so to speak); most have noticed that, when riding in the rain,
one gets a lot more saddle sore. Cycling in soaked shorts is simply going
to be less comfortable.

--Mike-- Chain Reaction Bicycles
www.ChainReactionBicycles.com

============================================================

Let me see if I got this right. You roll up one leg of your shorts,
then [censored] under your leg while coasting (downhill of course).

Thanks, I'll give this a try.

Blowing snot on other riders is nothing compared to this!

"Bruce W.1" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:jPWGc.8497$pY2.3340@lakeread01

Quoted message said:

Mike Jacoubowsky said:

Another poster got it right; you roll up your shorts. Size doesn't
matter in this case, aside from having to find it (on a cold ride,
there might not be much there).

Triathletes are known for just going in their shorts, but it's not
the best way to go (so to speak); most have noticed that, when
riding in the rain, one gets a lot more saddle sore. Cycling in
soaked shorts is simply going to be less comfortable.

Let me see if I got this right. You roll up one leg of your shorts,
then [censored] under your leg while coasting (downhill of course).

Thanks, I'll give this a try.

No, you roll up one leg of your shorts, flop it over your leg and [censored]
whilst continuing to chase the breakaway. Oh, you mean you can't?

--

A: Top-posters.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on Usenet?

DRS said:

"Bruce W.1" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:jPWGc.8497$pY2.3340@lakeread01

Quoted message said:

Mike Jacoubowsky said:

Another poster got it right; you roll up your shorts. Size doesn't
matter in this case, aside from having to find it (on a cold ride,
there might not be much there).

Triathletes are known for just going in their shorts, but it's not
the best way to go (so to speak); most have noticed that, when
riding in the rain, one gets a lot more saddle sore. Cycling in
soaked shorts is simply going to be less comfortable.

Let me see if I got this right. You roll up one leg of your shorts,
then [censored] under your leg while coasting (downhill of course).

Thanks, I'll give this a try.

No, you roll up one leg of your shorts, flop it over your leg and [censored]
whilst continuing to chase the breakaway. Oh, you mean you can't?

=========================================

Like I already said, my [censored] is not that long.

I know this would be a valuable skill to have, if it can be done without
hitting anything. If I can't learn the details here then I guess trial
and error will have to be the method. Rolling up a pants leg is a good
start though, thanks.

Pissing while riding might seem like an odd skill to have but it's much
more valuable to me than the ability to inhale air through your anus:
http://www.heptune.com/farts.html