I am Lance. Six positives for EPO and seven Tour victories.
Look, son, there's no reason for you to delude yourself any longer with this foolish notion that I could have some how won the Tour seven times without doping.
I'm asking you to please, tear down the posters of Me from off the ceiling of your bed room; put away the Live Strong cockrings and the yellow [censored]; deflate your life size doll of me and put it in the trash compactor; throw away the picture of me stuffing my [censored] in Dr. House's mouth, you closeted Dr. House freak show; put your seat back on your bicycle and remove that improvised yellow [censored] you fastened to your seatpost with a hose clamp; throw out the Credit Lyon stuffed lion you've been sexually abusing; try riding a bicycle for a change instead of burning holes in your Lance DVDs with you DVD player while masturbating furiously to the Flock of Seagulls…
I'm sure I'm missing a few. Maybe the forum members can chime in.
I was working in a bike shop in the mid 90's and there was a Cannondale add in a trade publication one month, and one month only. The caption said, "A ride so sweet, sometimes I take the seat off and ride the post home"
