General fitness, health and nutrition · Public discussion

A funny to cheer up the oldies

Started by Jen · · Last activity · 6 posts · 295 views

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Original section
General fitness, health and nutrition
Published
1 April 2006
Last activity
2 April 2006
Original author
Jen
Posts
6
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  1. The Stud Rooster

    A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for
    his chicken coop.

    The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old
    fart, time for you to retire."

    The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL
    of these chickens.

    Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two
    old hens over in the corner?"

    The young rooster says, "Beat it...you are washed up and I am
    taking over."

    The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud.

    I will race you around the farmhouse.

    Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken
    coop."

    The young rooster laughs.

    "You know you don't stand a chance old man.

    So, just to be fair I will give you a head start."

    The old rooster takes off running.

    About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after
    him.

    They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young
    rooster has closed the gap.

    He is already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining
    fast.

    The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front
    porch when he sees the roosters running by.

    He grabs his shotgun and...BOOM!! He blows the young rooster
    to bits.

    The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn it...third gay
    rooster I bought this month." !

    Moral of this story...don't mess with the OLD FARTS.

    Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

  2. LOLOL! Now I have to make a Rooster joke file to go with my "xx in a
    bar" file.

    ```````````````````

    Jen said:

    The Stud Rooster

    A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for
    his chicken coop.

    The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old
    fart, time for you to retire."

    The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL
    of these chickens.

    Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two
    old hens over in the corner?"

    The young rooster says, "Beat it...you are washed up and I am
    taking over."

    The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud.

    I will race you around the farmhouse.

    Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken
    coop."

    The young rooster laughs.

    "You know you don't stand a chance old man.

    So, just to be fair I will give you a head start."

    The old rooster takes off running.

    About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after
    him.

    They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young
    rooster has closed the gap.

    He is already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining
    fast.

    The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front
    porch when he sees the roosters running by.

    He grabs his shotgun and...BOOM!! He blows the young rooster
    to bits.

    The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn it...third gay
    rooster I bought this month." !

    Moral of this story...don't mess with the OLD FARTS.

    Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

    --

    Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.

  3. In article <[email hidden]>,

    Jen said:

    The Stud Rooster

    <snipped>

    You must hang out on some of the poultry lists... ;-)

    I saw that one one of them this morning.....
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  4. One time on Usenet said:

    The Stud Rooster

    <snip>

    Heh, that's a keeper... :-)

    --
    jj - rfc (Jani) in WA
    ~ mom, Trollop, novice cook ~

  5. On Fri, 31 Mar 2006 23:21:18 -0800, sf <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    LOLOL! Now I have to make a Rooster joke file to go with my "xx in a
    bar" file.

    Here's another.

    That old rooster finally goes to the Great Roost in the Sky (and the
    stewpot), so the farmer goes to the dealer, and asks for the horniest
    rooster the guy's got.

    Dealer says, "Well, I have this one...but I doubt you want HIM. He's
    a serious case, he is."

    Farmer sez, "That's just right. I got a lot of hens need servicing,
    and I don't want more than one rooster on the place."

    The dealer shakes his head, but sells the farmer that rooster.

    Well, he takes the rooster home and turns him out in the barnyard.
    The rooster takes off at a run, nails one hen after another, running
    from one to the next--this goes on for a long time, and the farmer's
    tired just from watching. He looks at the rooster and says, "You
    better take a break, fella--you'll kill yourself at this rate."

    As you might expect, the rooster completely ignores him--and having
    run out of hens, starts in on the ducks. Farmer shakes his head and
    goes in to dinner. (that's "lunch" for city folks) After he finishes
    eating, he goes back out to see what's up, and there in the middle of
    the yard is that rooster, on his back, feet up in the air. Buzzards
    are circling.

    Farmer shakes his head, looks to the rooster again, and says, "I told
    you you'd kill yourself, you stupid bird."

    Rooster opens one eye, goes "sssshhhh" and points to the buzzards with
    a wink.

    --
    -denny-
    "Do your thoughts call ahead or do they just arrive at your mouth unannounced?"

    "It's come as you are, baby."

    -over the hedge

  6. Quoted message said:


    Rooster opens one eye, goes "sssshhhh" and points to the buzzards with
    a wink.

    --
    -denny->

    That's like a chicken version of the old classic:

    An old bull and a young bull were out in the pasture when a herd of heifers
    came out of the barn. The young bull says "Let's run over there and screw
    one of those heifers". The old one replies, "Let's WALK over there and screw
    ALL of them".
    --
    Lefty

    Life is for learning
    The worst I ever had was wonderful

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