rec.sport.unicycling · Public discussion

Save my uni!

sockmonster · 2004-07-10T21:45:11+00:00

Here's the scenario. Last summer, my brother and his wife were living with us until their apartment was ready. In that time, he and I struck gold at a yard sale, purchasing two blue Miyata flamingoes for $15 each. They were old and beat up, but they were real nice. The trouble was, the seat posts were way too short of us (we're both around 6'). So, my girlfriend at the time was over, and so My brother and I figured we'd teach the ladies how to ride unicycles. Great idea, right? The four of us unicycling together.... So, my brother's wife learned how to ride, but my girlfriend didn't pick it up so quickly. She asked if she could take it home to practice. My head said, "Ummm, I'd rather get to know the machine, spend some time with it, and learn how to handle lollipop bearings" but my mouth said, "Sure." That was my mistake. A couple months later, we broke up, and she still has that unicycle. She hasn't touched it since last summer. She is moving to Los Angeles (from Maine) in about a month and a half, and is evidently planning on stuffing the uni deep in the attic of her grandma's house. Just thinking about that wonderful piece of equipment being stashed away, never to be used, is a travesty. I want to get that unicycle back into my shed, where it will be well cared for, and used to teach dozens of people how to ride. I need help, though. My brother (who sees her more than I do) told her that she should give it back to me, and that I wanted it back, but she was unmoved. I'm wondering if any of you can think of something I can say to get her to return the unicycle. If I can't get her to surrender the unicycle soon, I will be forced to offer to buy it off her, and I'd rather not buy my unicycle twice, you know? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. If you help me get it back, I will be infinitely grateful. Thanks. Maximus -- sockmonster - One Wheeled Warrior Funny how in this forum, no one thinks it's weird if someone says, "I tacoed my giraffe..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ sockmonster's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/4286 View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/33844

Started by sockmonster · 10 July 2004 · Last activity 16 July 2004 · 25 posts · 807 views

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01 / Original postSave my uni!sockmonster · 10 Jul 2004 02 / This pagePosts 1–20Page 1 of 2 · chronological order 03 / Latest replyPost #25rob · 16 Jul 2004

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Original section: rec.sport.unicycling
Published: 10 July 2004
Last activity: 16 July 2004
Original author: sockmonster
Posts: 25
Discussion status: Public discussion
Total views: 807
Views / 30 days: 0
Topics: Group riding

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Original post
sockmonster
Archived post

10 July 2004, 21:45 UTC #1

Here's the scenario. Last summer, my brother and his wife were living
with us until their apartment was ready. In that time, he and I struck
gold at a yard sale, purchasing two blue Miyata flamingoes for $15 each.
They were old and beat up, but they were real nice. The trouble was, the
seat posts were way too short of us (we're both around 6'😉.
So, my girlfriend at the time was over, and so My brother and I figured
we'd teach the ladies how to ride unicycles. Great idea, right? The four
of us unicycling together....
So, my brother's wife learned how to ride, but my girlfriend didn't pick
it up so quickly. She asked if she could take it home to practice. My
head said, "Ummm, I'd rather get to know the machine, spend some time
with it, and learn how to handle lollipop bearings" but my mouth said,
"Sure."
That was my mistake.
A couple months later, we broke up, and she still has that unicycle. She
hasn't touched it since last summer. She is moving to Los Angeles (from
Maine) in about a month and a half, and is evidently planning on
stuffing the uni deep in the attic of her grandma's house. Just thinking
about that wonderful piece of equipment being stashed away, never to be
used, is a travesty.
I want to get that unicycle back into my shed, where it will be well
cared for, and used to teach dozens of people how to ride.
I need help, though. My brother (who sees her more than I do) told her
that she should give it back to me, and that I wanted it back, but she
was unmoved. I'm wondering if any of you can think of something I can
say to get her to return the unicycle. If I can't get her to surrender
the unicycle soon, I will be forced to offer to buy it off her, and I'd
rather not buy my unicycle twice, you know?
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. If you help me get it back, I
will be infinitely grateful. Thanks.
Maximus
--
sockmonster - One Wheeled Warrior
Funny how in this forum, no one thinks it's weird if someone says, "I
tacoed my giraffe..."
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mango
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10 July 2004, 23:27 UTC #2

tell her if she doesnt give it up, she'll have a welcoming committee of
angry one wheeled people in LA.
I got your back, man. 😄
--
mango - unity - as 1 stand together
http://www.unicyclist.com/gallery/albuv16
"...I speculated that if we all got to know each other, one lawn mower
would be enough for any neighborhood." -Keith Cash
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jagur
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10 July 2004, 23:58 UTC #3

offer to help her move and nab it when the time is right.
--
jagur - #3649_all fluff i hear?
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Max_Dingemans
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11 July 2004, 00:54 UTC #4

Or ask really nicely?
--
Max_Dingemans - Hey Look, who's that?
BLAH!
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KcTheAcy
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11 July 2004, 00:57 UTC #5

2 words
_Judge_Judy_
--
KcTheAcy - Ohh Baby
--Kaycee[image: http://home.maine.rr.com/kaycees/sbemail101aaa[2].gif]
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PopeSamXVI
Archived post

11 July 2004, 01:14 UTC #6

There are very few reasonable ways to appraoch this. Some have been
mentioned already (angry mob, help her move) but here are some other
options:
1) Hire a barber shop quartet to warm her icy heart. Try to find a guy
who knows a guy who sings barber shop.
2) Camp on her lawn until she gives in, or calls the police. I suggest
dragonfly stoves for cooking.
3) Plant the state flower in the shape of a unicycle on her lawn
4) Kill a man and bury the body in her yard.
That's all I can think of.
--
PopeSamXVI - Resident Hogwasher/Hornswaggler
Karol Jozef Wojtyla Forever!
I really am the president of my own fan club. www.samhunterfanclub.tk
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Catboy
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11 July 2004, 01:53 UTC #7

Heres a great idea! at night secretly [censored] on her lawn every day(night),
she'll figure its bad kharma and stuff because she's being mean and
eventually will give in, you could work in something where you say youl
catch the dog for her if you get your uni back or sumthing. I just like
the idea of pooping on someone elses lawn as an act of revenge.
--
Catboy - I enjoy the taste of dirt!
[image: http://pics.xs.to/pics/04063/catko.jpg]
I have the amazing power to talk to cats!=^.^=
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mango
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11 July 2004, 02:12 UTC #8

Catboy said:
*Heres a great idea! at night secretly [censored] on her lawn every
day(night), she'll figure its bad kharma and stuff because she's being
mean and eventually will give in, you could work in something where
you say youl catch the dog for her if you get your uni back or
sumthing. I just like the idea of pooping on someone elses lawn as an
act of revenge. *
OH MAN! that is by far the best idea yet! I havent laughed that hard in
a while! 😄
--
mango - unity - as 1 stand together
http://www.unicyclist.com/gallery/albuv16
"...I speculated that if we all got to know each other, one lawn mower
would be enough for any neighborhood." -Keith Cash
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sockmonster
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11 July 2004, 02:48 UTC #9

Thank goodness some unicyclists are more vengeful than myself.
Ok, so you're telling me I should kill the man who helps her move, and
then get an angry mob of barbershop singers to [censored] on Judge Judy's lawn
in the shape of the state flower?
It's just crazy enough to work!
--
sockmonster - One Wheeled Warrior
Funny how in this forum, no one thinks it's weird if someone says, "I
tacoed my giraffe..."
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Rayden
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11 July 2004, 03:02 UTC #10

/me turns on the Mission Impossible music.
You could steal it back.
I just realized this song is appropriate. Offensive words have been
edited out.
Song for the Dumped
by Ben Folds and Darren Jessee
So you wanted to take a break
Slow it down some and have some space
Well xxxx you too!
Give me my money back
Give me my money back, you xxxxx
I want my money back
Wish I hadn't bought you dinner
Right before you dumped me on your front porch
Give me my money back
Give me my money back, you xxxxx
I want my money back
... and don't forget my black T-shirt (unicycle)
Clip for those who want to hear the song.
'Song For the Dumped' (http://tinyurl.com/2tnct)
www.benfoldsfive.com
--
Rayden
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Sipid Malapropism
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11 July 2004, 03:11 UTC #11

Actually, I think Out of Print by the Cautions is a more appropriate
fit. I asterisked out the profanity since this is a family message
board.
I think everyone should also check out their website at
http://www.thecautions.com. They're an awesome band, and Coffeeshop
Girl is one of my favourite songs. You can download both of the
aforementioned songs on their website.
Out of Print
There are a lot of things I won't miss about you when you're gone:
I won't miss your 6 month-old toothbrush with worn out bristles in my
medicine cabinet...I won't miss Hello Kitty this and Hello Kitty
that...I won't miss the dirty old teddy bear you've had since you were
two...
No, I won't miss you.
Now that you've said it's final
I want back my ...**** vinyl
It's out of print, and I don't think
I can get it back...My Grandmaster Flash
I won't miss the hour-long fights that go nowhere, do nothing...I won't
miss the company you keep, the snoring in your sleep, I won't miss the
lipstick on every goddamn glass in my kitchen sink...
No, I won't miss you.
Now that you've said it's final
I want back my **** vinyl
It's out of print, and I don't think
It will turn up soon...My Death In June
Whodini...Henry Mancini
Dead Milkmen...Bucky Fellini
Ric Ocasek...Barry White
Jimmy Walker...Dynomite!
Now that you've said it's final
I want back my ...**** vinyl
It's out of print, and I don't think
I can find it again...My Are We Not Men
Now that you've said it's final
I want back my [censored] vinyl
It's out of print, and I don't want it
To end this way...**** it, I'll find it on Ebay
--
Sipid Malapropism
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Catboy
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11 July 2004, 03:18 UTC #12

sockmonster said:
*Ok, so you're telling me I should kill the man who helps her move,
and then get an angry mob of barbershop singers to [censored] on Judge
Judy's lawn in the shape of the state flower?
*
It's foolproof!
--
Catboy - I enjoy the taste of dirt!
[image: http://pics.xs.to/pics/04063/catko.jpg]
I have the amazing power to talk to cats!=^.^=
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PopeSamXVI
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11 July 2004, 04:50 UTC #13

Catboy said:
*
It's foolproof! *
You're darn right it is!
Seriously. Do it. It'd be the awesomest thing in the world.
--
PopeSamXVI - Resident Hogwasher/Hornswaggler
Karol Jozef Wojtyla Forever!
I really am the president of my own fan club. www.samhunterfanclub.tk
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mazem
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11 July 2004, 06:39 UTC #14

Go to her house in person and firmly ask for your unicycle back. Be very
businesslike and upfront about it. Make her either give it back or
flat-out deny you to your face, but don't let her brush you off.
If she doesn't give it back after that, more drastic measures might need
to be taken 🙄
--
mazem - Department of Redundancy Dept.
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jagur
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11 July 2004, 06:46 UTC #15

mazem said:
*Go to her house in person and firmly ask for your unicycle back. Be
very businesslike and upfront about it. Make her either give it back
or flat-out deny you to your face, but don't let her brush you off.*

and blow the element of surprise? no way! read Sun Tsu.
--
jagur - #3649_all fluff i hear?
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johnfoss
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11 July 2004, 08:54 UTC #16

sockmonster said:
*So, my brother's wife learned how to ride, but my girlfriend didn't
pick it up so quickly. She asked if she could take it home to
practice. My head said, "Ummm, I'd rather get to know the machine,
spend some time with it, and learn how to handle lollipop bearings"
but my mouth said, "Sure."*

Like Mazem suggested, it sounds like the unicycle is yours. She needs to
give it back. Explain to her (yourself) that it is yours. She apparently
has no need for it anyway. Offer to pick it up of course.
Second idea, wait until she's moved away, then speak to her grandma.
"Oh, I think she left my old unicycle in your attic. Could I get it
back?"
--
johnfoss - Walkin' on the edge
John Foss, the Uni-Cyclone
"jfoss" at "unicycling.com"
www.unicycling.com
"Beer me." -- Scot Cooper, at the end of a group ride all the way up and
all the way down Mt. Diablo (3300'😉, a 20 mile round trip of road and
trail.
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Catboy
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11 July 2004, 16:36 UTC #17

jagur said:
*and blow the element of surprise? no way! read Sun Tsu. *
He is right, this is WAR! Although is Sun Tzu he does a have a point,
use a sneaky and manipulative way to get it back so it wont be:
A. Confrontational
B. Harmful to the relationship of her and your bro
L. Wont hurt your [censored] to offense ratio.
--
Catboy - I enjoy the taste of dirt!
[image: http://pics.xs.to/pics/04063/catko.jpg]
I have the amazing power to talk to cats!=^.^=
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Email address hidden
Archived post

12 July 2004, 05:15 UTC #18

Enjoyed your posts. To learn more about Sun Tzu and his Art of War,
go to www.sonshi.com
"Catboy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:<[email hidden]>...
Quoted message said:
jagur said:
*and blow the element of surprise? no way! read Sun Tsu. *
He is right, this is WAR! Although is Sun Tzu he does a have a point,
use a sneaky and manipulative way to get it back so it wont be:
A. Confrontational
B. Harmful to the relationship of her and your bro
L. Wont hurt your [censored] to offense ratio.

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digigal1
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15 July 2004, 19:32 UTC #19

MY IDEA HAS WORKED FOR ME (although was not a unicycle in question)
Write a letter to her, cc a local attorney. You don't have to pay the
attorney, just cc him/her. Tell her in the letter that if she doesn't
give you the uni back, you will be engaging the services of said
attorney.
Then it's up to you if she doesn't give it back, whether you really want
to go that route. My stuff was returned to me in a week, never had to
pay a dime.
--
digigal1 - You call this middle age??
Omni for Uni and Uni for Omni!
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Mike_Foote
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16 July 2004, 00:06 UTC #20

hire a monkey hit squad to fling their own fieces at her then while
she's distracted bye the flying dung run into the house, grab the uni.
I know i'm not funny
--
Mike_Foote - Violinist and Unicyclist
Long live unicycling
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