Following the tragic death of diet guru Dr. Atkins from head injuries sustained when slipping and
hitting his unprotected head, NYC has just announced a mandatory helmet law for all pedestrians.
"his death was so unnecessary when all it would have taken would have taken to save him was a simple
helmet" said a senior authority in NY. To help law enforcement officials, the public are being asked
to point to anyone not complying and to say "where's your helmet?". "this will be a wonderful way to
remind people that they must have accidentally forgotten to buckle up before hitting the streets.
I've no doubt it is the best way to get everyone to comply without anyone getting annoyed". He went
on to say, "I'm sure we all know of several pedestrians who have had falls and wouldn't be here
today if it wasn't for their helmets saving their lives, that sort of anecdotal evidence just proves
how we're doing the right thing.
Future plans also include mandatory bullet-proof vests as part of the de-criminalizing of firing
guns in public. "It's going to happen, in fact people have a right to be able to fire their weapons
as they want in a free country, i think our constitution guarantees that right", said the same
official on condition on annonimity, "we've just got to take adequate steps to stop those who are
responsible for all the gun-related deaths, ie the irresponsible self-centered fools who think they
actually have a right to go out on the streets without adequate torso protection".
When both bills are passed, it is hoped to be able to do away with NY's antiquated drinking and
driving laws.
This has been a Public Service announcement