Everyone who has ever bought a house can enjoy this - it's
too good not to share!
Quoted message said:
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He
was told the
loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title
to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The
title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the
lawyer three months to track down. After sending the
information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
Quoted message said:
(Actual letter):"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan
application, we
note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.
While we compliment the able manner in which you have
prepared and presented the application, we must point out
that you have only cleared title to the
Quoted message said:proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final
approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to
its origin."
Quoted message said:
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been
received. I
note that you wish to have title extended further than the
194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware
that any educated person in this country, particularly those
working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana
was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of
origin identified in our application. For the edification of
uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to
U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired
it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the
possession of Spain by Right of discovery, made in the year
1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had
been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India
by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella,
being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as
the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the
Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus'
expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the
emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is
commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe
it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the
world called Louisiana.
Quoted message said:
God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His
origins date back,
to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND
the FHA. I hope to hell you find God's original claim to be
satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"
Quoted message said:
The loan was approved.Heaven is an overstocked used book store, crowded
with cats.
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David Letterman's Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle
10. Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in
a friggin' box all day long.
11. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without
turning around to see who's behind you.
12. Cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any
kind of gun fire.
13. That nagging feeling that if you press the right
button, you'll get a piece of cheese.
14. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
15. The walls are too close together for the hammock to
work right.
16. 23 power cords - 1 outlet.
17. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also
have beds.
18. The carpet has been there since 1976 and shows more
signs of life than your co-workers.
And the number 1 drawback to working in a cubicle...
19. You can't walk out and slam the door when you quit.
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Daniel www.dromadaire.com/cimetiere/english