NEW Why did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE W BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed
the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side
of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for
us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly
see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.
RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the other side of the
road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The
chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other
side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road,
but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the
road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already
forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-
road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for
by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm
talking about your money, money the government took from you
to build a road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of
your face? The chicken was going to the ''other side'.
That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we Boycott all chickens until we sort
out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.
GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we
will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case
of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of
crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX It was an historic inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has ever
gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken
BILL GATES I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook, - and internet
explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or
did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE I invented the chicken!
THE BIBLE And God came down from heaven, and he said unto
the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst
cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?