UK and Europe · Public discussion

OT: Hull joke.

Started by Simon Mason · · Last activity · 4 posts · 532 views

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UK and Europe
Published
12 April 2004
Last activity
12 April 2004
Original author
Simon Mason
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4
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Public discussion
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  1. Sorry for the off topic posting, but I'd just finished
    writing this joke for a local NG and they thought it was
    funny, so I thought I'd pass it on.

    Peter Taylor, the manager of Hull City, gets wind of a
    potential new young player who lives in Iraq. Taylor and the
    head coach catch a plane to war-torn Baghdad and track the
    young boy down.

    They risk life and limb dodging bombs, bullets and grenades
    but finally find him and convince him to come to England.
    The boy does a full pre-season, plays all the practice
    matches and gets picked on the bench in the first team for
    the first game of the year.

    Ten minutes into the first half, one of the players goes
    down with a severe knee injury. Taylor turns to the boy and
    says, "This is it son, go to centre forward and show us what
    you can do."

    The boy proceeds to play the greatest debut game in FA
    history. He scores 5 goals, scores goal of the season and
    lays on another 3 goals for his team mates . The team chair
    him off the ground and give him three cheers back in the
    changing room. Taylor tells the team what the boy from Iraq
    has been through and that he is a model lesson for all.

    Taylor then pulls the boy aside and says, "Go into my office
    son, ring your Mother and tell her what you did today". He
    proceeds to do so. "Mum", he says down the phone, "Guess
    what I did today?"

    "I don't care what you did today," his Mother replies. "I
    tell you what happened here today", she goes on. "Your Dad
    was stabbed and robbed, our house torched, our car blown up,
    your sister molested and your brother abducted." "Gee," says
    the boy. "I feel a bit responsible for what happened".

    The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for you
    we would never have moved to Hull.

    SJM

  2. "Simon Mason" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Sorry for the off topic posting, but I'd just finished
    writing this joke


    for

    Quoted message said:

    a local NG and they thought it was funny, so I thought I'd
    pass it on.

    Peter Taylor, the manager of Hull City, gets wind of a
    potential new young player who lives in Iraq. Taylor and
    the head coach catch a plane to war-torn Baghdad and track
    the young boy down.

    They risk life and limb dodging bombs, bullets and
    grenades but finally find him and convince him to come to
    England. The boy does a full pre-season, plays all the
    practice matches and gets picked on the bench in the first
    team for the first game of the year.

    Ten minutes into the first half, one of the players goes
    down with a severe knee injury. Taylor turns to the boy
    and says, "This is it son, go to centre forward and show
    us what you can do."

    The boy proceeds to play the greatest debut game in FA
    history. He scores 5 goals, scores goal of the season and
    lays on another 3 goals for his team mates . The team
    chair him off the ground and give him three cheers back
    in the changing room. Taylor tells the team what the boy
    from Iraq has been through and that he is a model lesson
    for all.

    Taylor then pulls the boy aside and says, "Go into my
    office son, ring your Mother and tell her what you did
    today". He proceeds to do so. "Mum", he says down the
    phone, "Guess what I did today?"

    "I don't care what you did today," his Mother replies. "I
    tell you what happened here today", she goes on. "Your Dad
    was stabbed and robbed, our house torched, our car blown
    up, your sister molested and your brother abducted."
    "Gee," says the boy. "I feel a bit responsible for what
    happened".

    The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for you
    we would never have moved to Hull.

    SJM


    Nice one It made us all laugh.

    jan

  3. Best i've read for ages,just forwarded to my brother in france.
    "Jan" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:


    "Simon Mason" <[email hidden]> wrote in
    message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Sorry for the off topic posting, but I'd just finished
    writing this joke


    for

    Quoted message said:

    a local NG and they thought it was funny, so I thought
    I'd pass it on.

    Peter Taylor, the manager of Hull City, gets wind of a
    potential new young player who lives in Iraq. Taylor and
    the head coach catch a plane to war-torn Baghdad and
    track the young boy down.

    They risk life and limb dodging bombs, bullets and
    grenades but finally find him and convince him to come
    to England. The boy does a full pre-season, plays all
    the practice matches and gets picked on the bench in the
    first team for the first game of the year.

    Ten minutes into the first half, one of the players goes
    down with a severe knee injury. Taylor turns to the boy
    and says, "This is it son,


    go

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    to centre forward and show us what you can do."

    The boy proceeds to play the greatest debut game in FA
    history. He scores 5 goals, scores goal of the season
    and lays on another 3 goals


    for

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    his team mates . The team chair him off the ground and
    give him three cheers back in the changing room. Taylor
    tells the team what the boy from Iraq has been through
    and that


    he

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    is a model lesson for all.

    Taylor then pulls the boy aside and says, "Go into my
    office son, ring your Mother and tell her what you did
    today". He proceeds to do so. "Mum", he says down the
    phone, "Guess what I did today?"

    "I don't care what you did today," his Mother replies.
    "I tell you what happened here today", she goes on.
    "Your Dad was stabbed and robbed, our house torched, our
    car blown up, your sister molested and your brother
    abducted." "Gee," says the boy. "I feel a bit
    responsible for what happened".

    The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for
    you we would never have moved to Hull.

    SJM


    Nice one It made us all laugh.

    jan

  4. On Mon, 12 Apr 2004 16:02:59 +0100, "Simon Mason"
    <[email hidden]> wrote:

    *snip*

    Quoted message said:

    The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for you
    we would never have moved to Hull.

    Think I've heard it before, only Liverpool was the
    punchline place. Reader's Digest maybe... still a cracking
    joke though!

    Chris

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