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Interesting cycle ride

Started by Dirtylitterboxo · · Last activity · 14 posts · 543 views

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UK and Europe
Published
8 April 2004
Last activity
10 April 2004
Original author
Dirtylitterboxo
Posts
14
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Public discussion
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  1. Went out this afternoon, on my trusty steed, to cycle into
    town to go to the Post Office and get a copy of the comic.

    It was raining as I set off, so I was clad in bright yellow
    waterproof jacket & fluorescent yellow waterproof helmet
    cover, so I was visible. Yes, I was wearing other items of
    clothing as well, so no, I wasn't practising for the nude
    bike ride.

    On the way into town I was being given loads of room by
    overtaking motorists - noticeably so, and I was just
    settling into the "Oh this is going to be a pleasant day"
    mental state when whoosh - a Big Motorised [censored] went by me
    with inches to spare and at a vast rate of knots. The driver
    is duly cursed and will be soon developing boils on a
    sensitive part of the anatomy. The rest of the cycle ride
    into town was uneventful, but damp :-) Damp I can cope with,
    but Big Motorised [censored] I dislike with a vengeance.

    Then - after locking up bike on one of the nice shiny new
    bike stands in town, doing the shopping, returning to bike,
    unlocking it and setting off for home, I was cycling along -
    on a main road. Coming up to a junction on the left - where
    any traffic on that road had to give way to traffic on the
    road I was on i.e. *me*, motorist with brain out of action
    is waiting at the give way - doesn't see any cars and pulls
    striaight out in front of me - despite me looking straight
    at him. The squeal of my brakes as I managed to stop the
    bike before crashing into his driver side front door woke
    him up. He was apologetic and mouthed "sorry" at me, so at
    least no harm done and I decided that as he's at least said
    sorry, there was no point in getting shirty with him.
    Hopefully he'll be more alert at his next junction. Then for
    about a thrid of the way home it was lovely - nice courteous
    motorists all giving me plenty of room, with many a wave of
    thanks exchanged for courtesy shown. Then, despite me being
    about a metre & a half out from the gutter, a large, fast
    and newish Audi whatsit went by so close I was pushed into
    the side. Thank heavens for leaving escape space! I was a
    trifle angered by this and shook my fist. Cue said Audi
    pulling up at side of road in front of me. I cycled on,
    calming myself, readying myself to be polite but firm, to
    say, "Look, I'm sure you didn't mean it deliberately, but
    you went my me too closely, so much so, you caused me to be
    pushed into the side. Please be aware that cyclists need
    room. Thanks" or words to that effect. Whether said Audi
    driver was getting ready to have a go at me and thought
    better of it, or whether he or she was just checking to see
    if I was okay and judged that as I was on the bike I must be
    okay - the car then pulled off. So, Mr or Mrs Audi driver -
    you too are duly cursed, will develop boils on your nether
    regions that refuse to clear up despite the strongest
    antibiotics known to medicine. Also, your tyres, no matter
    how many times you get replacements, will get punctures with
    alarming regularity.

    The rest of the ride home was pleasant, with any remaining
    drivers being courteous... including one in a BMW who gave
    me loads of room - may he or she never get punctures or
    large garage bills.

    Cheers, helen s

    --This is an invalid email address to avoid spam-- to get
    correct one remove fame & fortune
    h*$el*$$e*nd**$o$ts**i*$*$m*m$o*n*s@$*a$o*l.c**$om$

    --Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel
    is switched off--

  2. dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers said:

    The rest of the ride home was pleasant, with any remaining
    drivers being courteous... including one in a BMW who gave
    me loads of room - may he or she never get punctures or
    large garage bills.

    I got feathered this morning, when returning from the
    swimming pool at 0845. A large lorry containing chickens
    or some other form of fowl in cages overtook me. That
    wasn't a problem, the driver left loads of room. However,
    the feathers billowing out of the ventilation holes
    certainly were!

    Pity I had to walk round the supermarket afterwards looking
    like I was an item of Easter merchandise 🙁

    Regards,

    -david looked quite cute and fluffy. Apparently.

  3. Quoted message said:

    Pity I had to walk round the supermarket afterwards looking like I was an
    item of Easter merchandise 🙁

    Well you would look suitably seasonal. Just avoid being near
    the supermarket shelves with the packets of Paxo on them ;-)

    I forgot to put in my post that when I was walking round
    town, I was aware of people looking at me. Of course I could
    have put it down to my stunning good looks and Pamela
    Anderson type figure, but if I did, I'd be in need of
    medication to calm my delusions. I caught a glimspe of
    myself ina shop window, and discovered that where my helmet
    met my forehead, was a lovely raggedy red mark, matching the
    line of the helmet cover. The poor natives of Dereham
    probably thought I'd recently undergone a brain transplant
    and were looking at my scar ;-)

    Cheers, helen s

    --This is an invalid email address to avoid spam-- to get
    correct one remove fame & fortune
    h*$el*$$e*nd**$o$ts**i*$*$m*m$o*n*s@$*a$o*l.c**$om$

    --Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel
    is switched off--

  4. "David Nutter" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers

    Quoted message said:

    The rest of the ride home was pleasant, with any
    remaining drivers being courteous... including one in a
    BMW who gave me loads of room - may he


    or she

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    never get punctures or large garage bills.

    I got feathered this morning, when returning from the
    swimming pool at


    0845.

    Quoted message said:

    A large lorry containing chickens or some other form of
    fowl in cages overtook me. That wasn't a problem, the
    driver left loads of room.


    However,

    Quoted message said:

    the feathers billowing out of the ventilation holes
    certainly were!

    Pity I had to walk round the supermarket afterwards
    looking like I was an item of Easter merchandise 🙁

    Regards,

    -david looked quite cute and fluffy. Apparently.

    Invokes memories of the sheep trucks overtaking me in New
    Zealand, sheep [censored] streaming out of the back.

  5. dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers said:

    One has to ask what it is about sheep pee that can make
    you look cute and fluffy ;-)

    It's the pheromones you know...

    Regards,

    -david

  6. In article <[email hidden]>,

    MSeries said:

    Invokes memories of the sheep trucks overtaking me in New
    Zealand, sheep [censored] streaming out of the back.

    NZ? You get that *much* closer to home. And nor is [censored]
    the worst ...

    Particularly noticable when Foot&Mouth hysteria drew
    attention to the way routine abuse of animals by farmers
    spreads disease.

    --
    Nick Kew

    Nick's manifesto: htmlhelp.com~nick

  7. [email hidden]
    (dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers) wrote in message news:<20040408120337.20896.00000005@mb-
    m28.aol.com>... So, Mr or Mrs Audi driver - you too are duly
    cursed, will

    Quoted message said:

    develop boils on your nether regions that refuse to clear
    up despite the strongest antibiotics known to medicine.
    Also, your tyres, no matter how many times you get
    replacements, will get punctures with alarming regularity.

    It wasn't me honest - I drive an Alfa 156, which has now
    got a puncture from a nail - 90 quid. My road bike has had
    a nipple drop off its front wheel and the back wheel is
    knackered after 70 miles. It must be curse for all this to
    happen in one week, so please stop it ;-)Haven't got any
    boils --- yet!

    Simon M.

  8. In message <[email hidden]>,
    dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers
    <[email hidden]> writes

    Quoted message said:

    where my helmet met my forehead, was a lovely raggedy red
    mark, matching the line of the helmet cover. The poor
    natives of Dereham probably thought I'd recently undergone
    a brain transplant and were looking at my scar ;-)

    My h****t did that on my head, too. I've stopped wearing it,
    but even the souvenir baseball cap from St James Club resort
    in Antigua does it too. I must have a big head.

    --
    congokid Good restaurants in London? Number one on Google
    congokid.comcongokid.com

  9. Nick Kew said:

    In article <[email hidden]>,

    MSeries said:

    Invokes memories of the sheep trucks overtaking me in New
    Zealand, sheep [censored] streaming out of the back.

    NZ? You get that *much* closer to home. And nor is [censored]
    the worst ...

    Particularly noticable when Foot&Mouth hysteria drew
    attention to the way routine abuse of animals by farmers
    spreads disease.

    Despite there being lots of sheep on the routes I ride
    around Yorkshire I rarely see wagons carrying the the little
    critters. Perhaps its because when I am at home most of my
    riding is at weekends. At home Sheep pose more a problem by
    getting in my way as they casually roam across the road.

  10. Quoted message said:

    My h****t did that on my head, too

    Mine just does it when I've got the waterproof cover on it.
    It doesn't bother me and brought a wry smile that I'd
    probably scared half the population of Dereham with my
    "scar" ;-)

    Cheers, helen s

    --This is an invalid email address to avoid spam-- to get
    correct one remove fame & fortune
    h*$el*$$e*nd**$o$ts**i*$*$m*m$o*n*s@$*a$o*l.c**$om$

    --Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel
    is switched off--

  11. Quoted message said:

    It wasn't me honest - I drive an Alfa 156, which has now
    got a puncture from a nail - 90 quid. My road bike has had
    a nipple drop off its front wheel and the back wheel is
    knackered after 70 miles. It must be curse for all this to
    happen in one week, so please stop it ;-)Haven't got any
    boils --- yet!

    Simon M.

    Simon, from your description it's *obvious* I'm not cursing
    you - as you haven't got boils. Obviously you've upset some
    other old witch, errr... person.

    Cheers, helen s

    --This is an invalid email address to avoid spam-- to get
    correct one remove fame & fortune
    h*$el*$$e*nd**$o$ts**i*$*$m*m$o*n*s@$*a$o*l.c**$om$

    --Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel
    is switched off--

  12. "dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers" <[email hidden]> wrote in
    message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I caught a glimspe of myself ina shop window, and
    discovered that where my helmet met my forehead, was a
    lovely raggedy


    red

    Quoted message said:

    mark, matching the line of the helmet cover.

    Heh - I can match that. I got out for a reasonable ride
    yesterday (~65miles), and I tan very easily (never burn),
    even in the watery sun we had yesterday - I am now a nice
    shade of Mediterranean tan from my chin to halfway up my
    (increasingly high) forehead, above which fairly sharp line,
    I'm a nice shade of fish-underbelly.

    Oh yes - my arms have also gone a nice shade of brown, as
    have my fingers, it's just the backs that are covered by my
    mitts are still white.

    Pretty soon I'll look like a negative Siamese cat.

    E

  13. MSeries said:
    Nick Kew said:

    In article <[email hidden]-

    berlin.de said:

    Invokes memories of the sheep trucks overtaking me in
    New Zealand, sheep [censored] streaming out of the back.

    NZ? You get that *much* closer to home. And nor is [censored]
    the worst ...

    Particularly noticable when Foot&Mouth hysteria drew
    attention to the way routine abuse of animals by farmers
    spreads disease.

    Despite there being lots of sheep on the routes I ride
    around Yorkshire I rarely see wagons carrying the the
    little critters. Perhaps its because when I am at home
    most of my riding is at weekends. At home Sheep pose more
    a problem by getting in my way as they casually roam
    across the road.

    The strangest sheep related sight Ive seen was 2 rams in the
    back of a volvo estate parked in Fort William.
    --
    Mark

    After thinking long about a signature I've decided not
    to bother.

  14. In article <[email hidden]>,

    MSeries said:
    Quoted message said:

    NZ? You get that *much* closer to home. And nor is [censored]
    the worst ...

    Particularly noticable when Foot&Mouth hysteria drew
    attention to the way routine abuse of animals by farmers
    spreads disease.

    Despite there being lots of sheep on the routes I ride
    around Yorkshire I rarely see wagons carrying the the
    little critters.

    Happens much more in some areas than others. Around here
    (Dartmoor) I see it occasionally, and there's very ample
    evidence of it. Many of our minor roads are consistently
    [censored] from a trickle/slop of mixed excrement rather than
    from being directly shat on by moving animals. This happens
    more on the fringes than on the open moorland with animals
    directly on the roads.

    I've certainly seen dribbling transporters, even on some of
    our bigger roads such as the A386 between Tavistock and
    Okehampton.

    --
    Nick Kew

    Nick's manifesto: htmlhelp.com~nick

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