Martha - I'll miss you.

Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled in,
plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items can be
heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things
cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in
the toilet water. And then ideas on how to dress up your
cell, stuff like that.

We'll see...

Mark

Quoted message said:

Maybe show how certain food items can be heated up by
placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things cold by
enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in the
toilet water. And then ideas on how to

You won't get those columns until Heloise is sent up.

x-no-archive: yes

At eGullet, Anthony Bourdain has posted at least one article
on prison cuisine by "Sam," an incarcerated chef:

egullet.comegullet.comOpen ↗

Naomi D.

Steve Ritter said:

I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker -
Or the Cookie🙂

Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi
toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?"

They'll treat a celebrity (with a good lawyer) by the books
and protect them. They will mess with her head as often as
possible though.

Ciao, Martha. -sw

FERRANTE said:

Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled
in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items
can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping
things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing
them in the toilet water. And then ideas on how to dress up
your cell, stuff like that.

How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How to
keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours (for
lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC razor
blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your locker. And
of course, seasonal prunos.

-sw

WardNA said:

Quoted message said:

Maybe show how certain food items can be heated up by
placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things cold by
enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in the
toilet water. And then ideas on how to

You won't get those columns until Heloise is sent up.

There's a good idea! Now that we've got a mob going, why
stop with Martha?

Now that I think about, I'd much rather send Donna Dewberry
to the slammer. I'm sick to death of seeing her One-StrokeTM
painting shows on PBS, occupying air time that could be used
to show something more entertaining like Rick Bayless frying
hamburgers at Burger King.

In article <[email hidden]>, Steve Ritter

Quoted message said:

I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.

Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls.
--
-Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 3-13-04.
Rec.food.cooking's Preserved Fruit Administrator (I've got
the button to prove it!) "The only difference between a rut
and a grave is the depth of the hole."

On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:02:22 -0600, Steve Wertz
<[email hidden]> Interjected.. :

Quoted message said:

Steve Ritter said:

I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker
- Or the Cookie🙂

Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi
toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?"

They'll treat a celebrity (with a good lawyer) by the
books and protect them. They will mess with her head as
often as possible though.

Ciao, Martha. -sw

She messed with a LOT of heads in her career. Of course,
she was messed
with as well, mostly as a child. Seen her mother? Talk
about mindfugg.

She deserves a little bit. But I still lust for her. Wonder
if they'd let me bring her some Foie Gras, and some of
those bow tie pastas lined up like lil' soldiers on a long
plate with a creamy truffle sauce. (In a private cell.)

Oh Martha! Why have you forsaken me!!??

Steve

Buffering... _69%_ |||||||||||||||||||

Melba's Jammin said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Steve Ritter said:

I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.

Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls.

Who, when she was a regular on the KARE-11 news, I always
thought she looked a lot like Martha anyways...

--
Richard W Kaszeta [email hidden]
kaszeta.orgrichOpen ↗

Mark Thorson said:

Now that I think about, I'd much rather send Donna
Dewberry to the slammer. I'm sick to death of seeing her
One-StrokeTM painting shows on PBS, occupying air time
that could be used to show something more entertaining
like Rick Bayless frying hamburgers at Burger King.

Cool! Could the technique transfer to jailhouse tats?

Maybe HBO can do a "female" version of OZ and Martha can be
the equivalent to Adabessi. You do remember him, don't you??
Who can we get to play the female Minister Siad?

Oprah could be the warden. I hear she is not too nice when
the cameras aren't pointed at her.

Mark Ferrante

Like a ship misses a barnacle....

On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 14:17:21 -0600, Melba's Jammin'
<[email hidden]> Interjected.. :

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Steve Ritter said:

I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.

Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

You made a funny🙂

Steve

Buffering... _69%_ |||||||||||||||||||

Steve Ritter said:

I'll miss Martha.

I will miss her about as much as I miss having ingrown
toenails.

--
John Gaughan johngaughan.netjohngaughan.netOpen ↗
[email hidden]

In article <[email hidden]>, Richard Kaszeta

Quoted message said:

Melba's Jammin said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Steve Ritter said:

I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.

Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls.

Who, when she was a regular on the KARE-11 news, I always
thought she looked a lot like Martha anyways...

She's been positioning herself for greatness for a number of
years. Now is her time to move. CJ had something about it in
her Strib column within the last two days -- might even have
been today's paper. (waves) Hi, Rich.
--
-Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 3-13-04.
Rec.food.cooking's Preserved Fruit Administrator (I've got
the button to prove it!) "The only difference between a rut
and a grave is the depth of the hole."

"Steve Ritter" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.

She'll probably be gone 2 years at the most or less.
Unless there will be a legal upset which can be
pulled off with her money. Unfortunately the lynch
mob wants blood.

I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker
- Or the

Cookie🙂

Quoted message said:

Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi
toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?"

Yeah, like she's gonna be locked up in Chino with the Women
of Cellblock H.

On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600,
Steve Wertz <[email hidden]>
had to open a new box of zerones to say:

Quoted message said:

FERRANTE said:

Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled
in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items
can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping
things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and
placing them in the toilet water. And then ideas on how to
dress up your cell, stuff like that.

How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How to
keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours (for
lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC razor
blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your locker. And
of course, seasonal prunos.

-sw

Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good stuff...?

<! -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- > zenit

On 15 Mar 2004 20:48:49 GMT, zenit <[email hidden]> Interjected.. :

Quoted message said:

On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600, Steve Wertz
<[email hidden]> had to open a new box of
zerones to say:

Quoted message said:

FERRANTE said:

Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled
in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items
can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or
keeping things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag
and placing them in the toilet water. And then ideas on
how to dress up your cell, stuff like that.

How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How
to keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours
(for lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC
razor blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your
locker. And of course, seasonal prunos.

-sw

Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good stuff...?

<! -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- > zenit

Only one way possible. Experience. Hee hee.

Steve

Buffering... _69%_ |||||||||||||||||||

Steve Ritter said:

On 15 Mar 2004 20:48:49 GMT, zenit <[email hidden]>
Interjected.. :

Quoted message said:

On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600, Steve Wertz
<[email hidden]> had to open a new box
of zerones to say:

Quoted message said:

On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE
<[email hidden]> wrote:

>Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
>focus on what you can make with things that are
>smuggled in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain
>food items can be heated up by placing atop a light
>bulb, or keeping things cold by enclosing them in a zip
>lock bag and placing them in the toilet water. And then
>ideas on how to dress up your cell, stuff like that.

How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How
to keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours
(for lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC
razor blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your
locker. And of course, seasonal prunos.

Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good
stuff...? zenit

Only one way possible. Experience. Hee hee.

Worked in a prison for a couple years. No, I wasn't making
license plates (they don't let me near metal objects).

-sw