Newbie Question

I can't really help with your question as I have no one trying to do the same to me. Your DH
bringing home those types of foods for the first time in 10 years sounds kind of suspicious to me as
well. Have you tried to talk to him about it? Perhaps he does like you the way you are, but that's
not what's important. What's important is what you like and if you would like to continue losing
more, then that is your choice to make, not his.

I hope that you can sort this out soon and continue on the road to a thinner and healthier life.
Good luck to you and welcome to the group!

--
Brenda
209/173/150 NYNY goal 160

"Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:11657-3FB45A4E-292@storefull-
2336.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

well good luck with that Jean ..

I have someone like that in my house too .. ME :o(

"Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:11657-3FB45A4E-292@storefull-
2336.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

Hi Jean,

and welcome to our group 🙂

As for the husband, I suppose trading him in for a newer model is out of the question? *grin* I
think you need to tell him straight out that you don't appreciate this, that you feel he's
undermining you, that you're doing this for yourself to make yourself happy and that you would have
have thought that a happy you was something he would want. Failing that - deny him horizontal
jogging privileges until he gets the message...........*grin*

good luck - you can AND WILL do this, with or without (but preferably with) him 🙂

--
krys

UK 157/136.4/126 Started March 1st 2001 GOAL August 16th 2001 struggling now.......

"Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:11657-3FB45A4E-292@storefull-
2336.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

Just a thought - could he be doing this because he wants to let you know that he really loves you
just the way you are? He might not be deliberately wanting you to stay fat, but perhaps he thinks
you're losing weight becuase you don't think he likes you fat?

I have an incredibly supportive boyfriend (yes, I know I'm lucky!). However, if I didn't I may try
talking to him seriously about why I want to lose weight and try to make him understand I'm not
doing it because of him.

The most abrupt way of dealing with the treats is to throw them out (preferably with his knowledge).
Then he might get the hint that you *really* don't want them. Of course, explain to him why your
doing it to avoid as much as possible any hurt feelings.

Good luck. You've done really well so far, and I'm sure with your attitude you will be successful!

--
Julie.
93.5/73.2/74 (WW)/72 (Personal) kg
93.5/74./162.8 (WW)/158 (Personal) lb

"Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:11657-3FB45A4E-292@storefull-
2336.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

[email hidden] (Jean) wrote in news:11657-3FB45A4E-292@storefull-
2336.public.lawson.webtv.net:

Quoted message said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

There is a blurb in the Getting Started book that addresses this. I don't have it handy but give
it a read.

I was lucky enough to have a supportive family (my wife joined with me) but my fellow workers
celebrate EVERTYTHING with food so I applaud your resolve to avoid the sweets.

BTW, occasional indulgence within your points plan will not only satisfy you but frustrate the h#$%
out of anyone 'sabotaging' your plan when you lose weight anyway :-)

--
Started Weight Watchers together February 2002: Chris
332.4/186.8/185 Pat
332.5/???/155 2002 combined loss 139 2003 combined loss ??? Total combined ??? lbs

Jean said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

ASK him! He might like you chubby, some fellas do. Does HE eat them? If he's under weight, he might
be trying to catch up a bit! tell him there are better ways - higher protein foods and muscle
building exercise are better than laying down fat.

I can't speak from personal experience - my fella is VERY supportive in my loss, and likes the
'diet' - as a Type 1 Diabetic, it suits him perfectly!
--

Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons diceyhome.free-online.co.ukdiceyhome.free-online.co.ukOpen ↗
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Yes. About the second week into WW a friend who would bring over food before I started showed up
with a very large platter of what she termed WW truffles. I had told her I did not want them.
They were too tempting and even if each one was only a few points the tray was huge and
UNhealthy. She refused to take them back and argued that they were from the WW cookbook. After
she left I tossed them.

This did not stop even after a few times of speaking with her. She would bring other other foods
(she was a good cook) but I told her I was controlling my portions and what I ate and when. This
type of discussion occurred about 4 or 5 times. I thought the message had sunk in. But it happened
one more time. I blewup. I was then very LOUD and clear. NO MORE FOOD that I do not ask for - NEVER.
It stopped finally. I do not understand the why's and wherefore's but it does seem to occur. But I
was more than clear and felt it was sabotage, too.

You will have to be very clear and attempt to find out what he is doing and why. If it
persists, toss the food out in front of him, clearing telling him that you do not want to eat
those foods at this time. That if you want that type of item, you will ask or buy it yourself
and in limited quantities. You can explain that while you can eat anything on WW, portions and
daily amounts do need to be limited and that certain foods trigger excess and you do not want
to be triggered to excess.

Good luck.

(Jean) said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to bring
something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before in our
10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies once, and
my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

Hi Jean. Welcome aboard. Can't help you with the saboteur as I am lucky enough to have a hubby
that's also follow the program ;-D Elaine K
331.4/222.2/179

Jean said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

My WW leader has a naturally slim husband and she just tells him that he can have as much of that
stuff that he likes but it is not allowed to stay in the house at all. That she is losing/staying
slim for her health and needs to have as much of his support as he can give her. She has even told
us about them dining out and him complaining about her asking for things to be prepared a certain
way so she can stay on program. He told he to just get it the way it comes and not complain, she
told him that in the future if they were going to dine out, that he either accepted her way of
eating or he could sit at a different table. He is accepting of her ways and lives with it now. They
have been married over 40 years now and she has been at goal for 35 of those years.

Debbie "Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:11657-3FB45A4E-292@storefull-
2336.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

Thanks to all who replied. I took your advice and directly asked him about it. He slyly smiled and
said "I thought you wouldn't notice, and if you get thin, I may have competition." YIKES! I never
realized he felt that way.... guess we need to work on more than just weight loss issues! LOL!

Anyway, we are at a mutual understanding now. He knows that I'll still love him if I'm thinner, and
my weight loss will be a good thing by getting me healthy.

I appreciate all the support everyone gave... it helps to know others are trying to accomplish the
same thing.

BTW, where is everyone from? I'm from the USA, in Northwest Ohio.

Hi and welcome, Jean! I'm from Nebraska. I'm so glad your hubby was honest with you. That's SO sweet
of him to think that way though, as selfish as it may sound. It just goes to show that he loves you
that much. Sounds like something mine would do. Hmm, could be why he bought mini oreos and twinkies
last night for our road trip snacks on the way home... grrrr...

Here's a newbie welcome notice for you!

Welcome to this great newsgroup where you'll receive lots of support, advice, and encouragement.
Once a week on Sundays, I post a list of links that newcomers to asdww might find useful. You may
want to look for that later in the week, or do a backwards search for last Sunday's post.

In the meantime, here's our FAQ: didian.comasdwwOpen ↗ our welcome notice:
geocities.comindex.htmlOpen ↗

Frequently seen acronyms on this NG: NSV = Non-Scale Victory WOE = Way of Eating WOL = Way of Life
(Living) OP = on Points or On Program DH = Dear or Darling Husband
DS/DD/DGD/etc = Dear or Darling Son, Daughter, Granddaughter, etc WI = Weigh-in

HHH = Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge. Our current exercise challenge hosted by Amberle.
Currently in progress, new signups are welcome. angelfire.comhhh.htmOpen ↗

NYNY= New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge. Our current weight loss challenge again hosted by
Amberle. Currently in progress, new signups are welcome.
angelfire.comnyny.htmOpen ↗

Other acronyms: wwlissa.com100+acronyms.htmOpen ↗

Here's a short synopsis by Joyce -

How many points you can eat is only based on your current weight, as you lose weight those points
allowed will decrease (logic is that your body will need less to operate). At 183 pounds and based
on the new US flexpoints system, you will have a set point target of 24. In addition to this you are
allowed 35 flexpoints to be used throughout the week ... as well as any activity points you earn on
a particular day. When your weight drops to 175, your target drops to 22 points ... weight reaches
150, target once again drop to 20 points. 3 servings of dairy of recommended per day, 5 servings of
fruit and veggies, minimum of 6 glasses of water.

To calculate food and activity points, I love this computer desktop calculator ...
xmission.compoints.exeOpen ↗

WW suggests your ideal weight should be somewhere between 116 and 145 depending on your age.

The basic plan is easy. Eat at least your minimum daily number of points. Points do not carry over
from day to day. You are allotted 35 weekly flexpoints to be used at your discretion ... can divide
them up and use daily (would be an additional 5 points per day) or save them and use them for a
special occassion during the week. Activity points are earned based when exercising, but can ONLY be
used on the day they are earned.

If you can afford $15/month, the online ww program might be a great thing for you to look into.
There is lots of information available, as well as the food point database and journaling system.

Joyce WW starting weight: 228.8 - 2/5/02 current weight: 133.3 Lifetime: 4/4/03

Disclaimer: As an unmoderated Usenet newsgroup, asdww is unusual in that most of the people who
participate are respectful, considerate folks who freely share their experience with and knowledge
of WW, weight loss, and maintenance. Yet occasionally, spammers, trolls, and flamers show up to post
advertising, false information, insults, and the like. Nearly all of the time, people like this are
just trying to yank someone's chain. Most of the regulars on this newsgroup offer their experience
as a suggestion to try if you're stuck, but are quick to advise that each person has to find what
works for him/herself. If someone posts something that doesn't sound right to you, ask the
newsgroup, ask your WW leader, or ask your health professional.

Much success on your weight loss journey! WW works!

--

~Kristin O~
272/239.2/172

Here's our FAQ: didian.comasdwwOpen ↗ and welcome notice:
geocities.comindex.htmlOpen ↗

"Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:11657-3FB45A4E-292@storefull-
2336.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Hello to all on this board. I've embarked on my goal to finally lose the "baby fat" (my baby turns
9 Sunday...lol). Anyways, I have a pretty good handle on the points, and have lost a total of 6.5
lbs in 3 weeks. My question is this...

Does anyone have someone close to them who is tryng to sabotage their efforts? I told my husband
(who is seriously under-weight) that I joined WW and his response for the last 2 weeks was to
bring something really tempting and high calorie home. He has never brought anything home before
in our 10 years of marriage. Now, in the last 2 weeks, he brought home doughnuts twice, cookies
once, and my weakness, chocolate.

So far I have managed to stay out of these things, but it got me to wondering if maybe he WANTS me
to stay fat?? Anybody else experience anything like this?

I've already decided HE is not going to determine my destiny.... I AM.

Hanging on by a thread..... Jean

193/186.5/140

krys said:

Hi Jean,

and welcome to our group 🙂

As for the husband, I suppose trading him in for a newer model is out of the question? *grin* I
think you need to tell him straight out that you don't appreciate this, that you feel he's
undermining you, that you're doing this for yourself to make yourself happy and that you would
have have thought that a happy you was something he would want. Failing that - deny him horizontal
jogging privileges until he gets the message...........*grin*

good luck - you can AND WILL do this, with or without (but preferably with) him 🙂

Ha! The Lysistrata Option!
--

Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons diceyhome.free-online.co.ukdiceyhome.free-online.co.ukOpen ↗
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

I'm glad your DH was honest with you Jean. Good luck!
--
Brenda
209/173/150 NYNY goal 160

"Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:18829-3FB5B765-117@storefull-
2334.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Thanks to all who replied. I took your advice and directly asked him about it. He slyly smiled and
said "I thought you wouldn't notice, and if you get thin, I may have competition." YIKES! I never
realized he felt that way.... guess we need to work on more than just weight loss issues! LOL!

Anyway, we are at a mutual understanding now. He knows that I'll still love him if I'm thinner,
and my weight loss will be a good thing by getting me healthy.

I appreciate all the support everyone gave... it helps to know others are trying to accomplish the
same thing.

BTW, where is everyone from? I'm from the USA, in Northwest Ohio.

On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 00:19:33 -0500 (EST), [email hidden] (Jean)

Quoted message said:

I appreciate all the support everyone gave... it helps to know others are trying to accomplish the
same thing.

Sorry for not welcoming you sooner. I'm glad to hear you've talked to your DH. Good luck :-)

Quoted message said:

BTW, where is everyone from? I'm from the USA, in Northwest Ohio.

I'm in New Zealand.

--
Erin in NZ
125/88/75 kgs
125.88/1.1/165 lbs

NYNY goal 180.6lbs (82 kilos)

"It is not the mountain we conquer, it is ourselves" Sir Edmund Hilary

Oops! Forgot to say where I live. Southwestern BC, Canada.
--
Brenda
209/173/150 NYNY goal 160

"Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:18829-3FB5B765-117@storefull-
2334.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Thanks to all who replied. I took your advice and directly asked him about it. He slyly smiled and
said "I thought you wouldn't notice, and if you get thin, I may have competition." YIKES! I never
realized he felt that way.... guess we need to work on more than just weight loss issues! LOL!

Anyway, we are at a mutual understanding now. He knows that I'll still love him if I'm thinner,
and my weight loss will be a good thing by getting me healthy.

I appreciate all the support everyone gave... it helps to know others are trying to accomplish the
same thing.

BTW, where is everyone from? I'm from the USA, in Northwest Ohio.

I'm from Somerset in the UK........

and I'm glad you two had it out, as it were - better dealt with no? 🙂

--
krys

UK 157/136.4/126 Started March 1st 2001 GOAL August 16th 2001 struggling now.......

"Jean" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:18829-3FB5B765-117@storefull-
2334.public.lawson.webtv.net...

Quoted message said:

Thanks to all who replied. I took your advice and directly asked him about it. He slyly smiled and
said "I thought you wouldn't notice, and if you get thin, I may have competition." YIKES! I never
realized he felt that way.... guess we need to work on more than just weight loss issues! LOL!

Anyway, we are at a mutual understanding now. He knows that I'll still love him if I'm thinner,
and my weight loss will be a good thing by getting me healthy.

I appreciate all the support everyone gave... it helps to know others are trying to accomplish the
same thing.

BTW, where is everyone from? I'm from the USA, in Northwest Ohio.

Jean said:

Thanks to all who replied. I took your advice and directly asked him about it. He slyly smiled and
said "I thought you wouldn't notice, and if you get thin, I may have competition." YIKES! I never
realized he felt that way.... guess we need to work on more than just weight loss issues! LOL!

Anyway, we are at a mutual understanding now. He knows that I'll still love him if I'm thinner,
and my weight loss will be a good thing by getting me healthy.

I appreciate all the support everyone gave... it helps to know others are trying to accomplish the
same thing.

BTW, where is everyone from? I'm from the USA, in Northwest Ohio.

Glad you got that sorted!

I'm here in the UK, waving from the top of the North Downs in Kent, the Garden of England. I live
opposite a cherry orchard.
--

Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons diceyhome.free-online.co.ukdiceyhome.free-online.co.ukOpen ↗
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

I am lucky to have a supportive DH but I am glad you are dealing with this
directly, I am from central IL, Lee
Jean <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Thanks to all who replied. I took your advice and directly asked him about it. He slyly smiled and
said "I thought you wouldn't notice, and if you get thin, I may have competition." YIKES! I never
realized he felt that way.... guess we need to work on more than just weight loss issues! LOL!

Anyway, we are at a mutual understanding now. He knows that I'll still love him if I'm thinner,
and my weight loss will be a good thing by getting me healthy.

I appreciate all the support everyone gave... it helps to know others are trying to accomplish the
same thing.

BTW, where is everyone from? I'm from the USA, in Northwest Ohio.

Ahhhhhhhhh, I've heard others say their spouses have had the same line of thought. Silly, eh? <grin>
Good for you for having the courage to front him with the issue, good for dh for having the courage
to admit his fears. No doubt that you'll be able to work through it all!

I'm in the USA, bitsy burbs of Chicago (about 30 miles west).

Joyce current weight: 130; total loss 98.8 lbs Lifetime: 4/4/03

(Jean) said:

Thanks to all who replied. I took your advice and directly asked him about it. He slyly smiled and
said "I thought you wouldn't notice, and if you get thin, I may have competition." YIKES! I never
realized he felt that way.... guess we need to work on more than just weight loss issues! LOL!

Anyway, we are at a mutual understanding now. He knows that I'll still love him if I'm thinner, and
my weight loss will be a good thing by getting me healthy.

I appreciate all the support everyone gave... it helps to know others are trying to accomplish the
same thing.

BTW, where is everyone from? I'm from the USA, in Northwest Ohio.