"Ryan Cousineau" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:rcousine-9FD174.22364205012008@[74.223.185.199.nw.nuvox.net]...
Quoted message said:Vancouver, WA has done so little with that noble name that we should be
able to expropriate it. I believe the Kelo decision in your fair nation
has established a useful precedent regarding valid causes for
expropriation.
Hand it over, and nobody gets hurt,
I feel I have to stand up for my Vancouver here in the 'ol US of A. If any
of you Canadians think of coming down here . well we have Hillary!
Well actually you are down here already in hordes shopping at our Wal Marts
since the formerly worthless Canadian Peso is now has some value. Not for
long! And we know that Hollywood is staffed by pinkos from the North.
How to defend against the Canuck threat:
Taking on the frostbacks here will be difficult, in that it is hard to tell
Canadian from an extremely boring regular white person unless he's dressed
to go outdoors. Then Canadians can be spotted by their ubiquitous mukluks,
toques, ear warmers and checked hunting jackets. A significant flaw in the
Canadian character is deep conservatism. This is evidenced in how Canadians
play their mongrelized version of football. In Canadian football there
really are 4 downs, but the teams up there punt the ball on the third down -
just to be on the safe side.
An outright invasion should be ruled out, in that little is known about
Canada. Only illiterate sport fishermen and the Queen have been known to
visit. From captured Canadian screen writers, this is what we know: that
Canada features uninhabitable sub-arctic conditions in the winter (10
months). Think of a colder and less culturally developed version of Fargo,
North Dakota. Canadians claim that they have a summer, but this is just a
ruse to attempt to lure unsuspecting tourists into their frostly lair.
Think of the reason why the Vikings named Greenland: green land. Don't be
fooled. Any time the temperature rises above zero in their
sarcastically-named 'summer', the thawing tundra unleashes hawk-sized
mosquitoes which have been known to carry away small pets.
Strategy: a stealth preemptive strike. We sneak across the border during
their winter hibernation and plug up the air holes in their igloos. Or as
most Canadian drivers are drunk, we could repaint the yellow lines on the
few paved roads to veer into walls and trees.
