speedos

bob calkins said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

Swim across one of the Great Lakes. Not Lake Superior, though. You might
cut your knee on the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

bob calkins said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

Regard it as a working uniform and forget about it and focus on your work.

"bob calkins" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

They had a saying on my basic training for the military -- "Suck it up,
buttercup."

If you were on a football team, and you didnt want to wear a helmet, they
would say bye.

Micheal

bob calkins said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

You might try sleeping in them to get used to how it feels to wear them.

But, while you may be a little self-conscious the first time you wear
them to practice, there's a good chance that by the end of the practice,
you won't even be thinking about it anymore.

Bob

"bob calkins" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

Join a naturist swimming club.

"bob calkins" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

The first and most fundamental question the swimming philosopher asks is why
bother with a costume at all? It can't be any sense of modesty (whatever
that means) as today's costumes are so small and body hugging, that they don't
actually conceal anything except perhaps the colour of a tiny portion of
your skin. This was not so when I was a lad, before the days of lycra etc. I
was nurtured on woollen swimming trunks. Don't laugh, we all were then. I
recall my mother knitting my earliest costumes. Apparently derived from the
under-wardrobe of Scott of the Antarctic, they were a sort of chain mail
creation held up by a doughty girdle spliced out of industrial strength
knicker elastic. Because this aquatic corset was so heavy (especially when
wet) the elastic had to be so strong Bernard Manning could have bungee
jumped quite safely with it. Consequently, the red marks around my middle
used to have only just begun to fade after one week's school swimming lesson
before the next came along. The trunks would instantly water-log and create
more drag than Lilly Savage on a hen night. This made swimming impossible
and, upon hauling the immense gushing weight from the pool, it would hang
down below my knees like an overdue nappy. At such times I wished our family
could have been more close knit. The girls had similar contraptions but with
shoulder straps to take the weight. Unfortunately the sodden wool was very
stretchy, so it was not unusual to see glum looking girls with their wet
costumes below navel level, suspended on what looked like braces made of
well chewed bubble gum.
When I was a little older I was allowed to have shop bought trunks. Being a
finer yarn these were a slight improvement when dry, but they were still
made of wool and retained gallons of water, which dripped for hours after
you had left the water. It was a toss up whether you got nappy rash or
trench foot when you had a day at the beach. It was on one such excursion
that I discovered the purpose of the frilly little skirt that all girls
seemed to have around the bums of their costumes in those days. Clearly it
was to dry your feet on, so I did. Though I saved myself from trench foot, I
got a sore behind from the girl's mother for my trouble. The manufacturers
did not however have my mother's over-engineered view of knicker elastic
and, though they were more comfortable on dry land, it was quite common to
see swimmer and costume part company after a dive-in.
Cotton seemed quite common in those times to construct girls' cozzies.
Lovely and light when dry, and transparent when wet. Later that stretchy
stuff came along and at last costumes started to be made which retained some
semblance of shape, albeit the cozzy's shape rather than that of the
swimmer. For most of my teen years however, I assumed that any material
which wasn't black didn't float, as you could not buy a costume in any other
colour, unless you were a body-builder, in which case they were gold lamé.
The modern materials we have now changed all that. Now there are colours and
styles for all. All women that is. Not all men. Look in any catalogue and
you will notice that there are no men over a 38" waist. Well there can't be,
can there? Otherwise there would be costumes for them, and there aren't. The
downsizing of modern styles coincided with the upsizing of my body, and some
while ago I started having trouble finding swimming trunks which did not cut
off the circulation in the matrimonial department. The tiny, hip hugging
slips which look OK on the top dogs of our sport sadly make me look like
Billy Bunter in a posing pouch. Utility outweighs vanity in my thinking, and
I refuse to retreat in to wearing the kind of baggy shorts which adorn the
nether regions of so many pool users now. Women had the good sense to stop
trying to swim in divided skirts some hundred years ago, but men seem to
have re-discovered them in recent times. The voluminous folds of these silly
garments surround the wearer in the water like the trailing tentacles of a
Portuguese Man-O-War. Swimming in 'It-Ain't-Half-Hot-Mum' shorts is about as
easy as getting a Committee meeting over with quickly. Ten steps out of the
pool or sea and you're back to the days of nappy rash. What's more they trap
air bubbles in their folds, making it look like you are suffering from
underwater wind even when you're innocent.
The latest craze for top competitors with more money than sense is the whole
body suit. This makes you look as if you have been caught trying on Grandad's
winter combinations. I gather they are so far only used in high class
competitions but, as badges of The Great, I predict that pester power among
the young will bring them down to club level galas soon. Imagine though, the
ignominy of loosing, having spent six months of Dad's beer money on one of
these body-condoms! Anyway, if such equipment gimmicks are allowed, why stop
there? Why not allow fins and paddles? No doubt an outboard motor strapped
to the backside would make you go faster too. However, even if they do work
(which I doubt) I don't think whole body suits will actually re-introduce
the Victorian madness of swimming fully dressed, as they could only be of
any use to swimmers who are good enough to not really need them anyway.
Finally, a word on the proper care of swimming costumes. As any mother will
know, the care of girls' costumes is fundamentally different from boys'.
Girls' costumes must be washed after every outing, dried, scented, ironed if
possible, aired and hung on a hanger among at least a dozen other costumes.
Boys trunks should be screwed up in to a tiny wet ball and hidden
indefinitely under a pair of muddy football boots in a bag, together with a
towel which can be either similarly treated, or more usually lost. The
advantage of the boys' costume care programme is that it makes the sports
bag impossible to loose, as it is always instantly located by the pungent
smell of mildew it exudes.
However, I see more enlightened times ahead. As more people take continental
holidays they will discover, as I have, that on most French, Dutch, Danish
and German beaches, once you get a couple of hundred metres away from the
end of the prom., most people swim in the most comfortable costumes of all -
their birthday suits. Once you have overcome the head rush of your first
skinny dip, you will quickly come to realise that nakedness and sex are not
the same thing, and you have actually been expensively conned all your life.
The truth is, you don't actually need a costume to swim at all.

I officiate a lot meets and I've noticed there seems to be more boys
going back to the brief-style suits from the jammers. So hang in
there--they may be on their way to being ......... (insert current
slang meaning socially acceptable to your peers).

--
Dave Clary/Corpus Christi, TX
http://davidclary.com

Quoted message said:

I officiate a lot meets and I've noticed there seems to be more boys
going back to the brief-style suits from the jammers. So hang in
there--they may be on their way to being ......... (insert current
slang meaning socially acceptable to your peers).

They are cheaper, faster to dry, and cheaper.

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I officiate a lot meets and I've noticed there seems to be more boys
going back to the brief-style suits from the jammers. So hang in
there--they may be on their way to being ......... (insert current
slang meaning socially acceptable to your peers).

They are cheaper, faster to dry, and cheaper.

And for those to whom it matters, they don't look so silly.

Duncan Heenan said:

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I officiate a lot meets and I've noticed there seems to be more boys
going back to the brief-style suits from the jammers. So hang in
there--they may be on their way to being ......... (insert current
slang meaning socially acceptable to your peers).

They are cheaper, faster to dry, and cheaper.

And for those to whom it matters, they don't look so silly.

If you get one that is too small or too big, there is a silliness
factor. And in the old days, if you wore them too long, the pool
chemicals would leach out the color and they became see-through.

I think these are the guidelines for whether a male will look silly in a
speedo:

1. If your legs are so skinny that the leg holes are actually bigger
around than your legs, please don't wear a speedo.

2. If you are so fat that when you put the speedo on, it disappears
completely, please don't wear a speedo.

3. If you are one of those guys who is worried that your suit will come
off while swimming so that you pull it up way too high and then cinch it
tightly, please don't wear a speedo.

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
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Quoted message said:

Duncan Heenan said:

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

[email hidden] wrote:
> I officiate a lot meets and I've noticed there seems to be more boys
> going back to the brief-style suits from the jammers. So hang in
> there--they may be on their way to being ......... (insert current
> slang meaning socially acceptable to your peers).
>

They are cheaper, faster to dry, and cheaper.

And for those to whom it matters, they don't look so silly.

If you get one that is too small or too big, there is a silliness factor.
And in the old days, if you wore them too long, the pool chemicals would
leach out the color and they became see-through.

I think these are the guidelines for whether a male will look silly in a
speedo:

1. If your legs are so skinny that the leg holes are actually bigger
around than your legs, please don't wear a speedo.

2. If you are so fat that when you put the speedo on, it disappears
completely, please don't wear a speedo.

All of which applies to jammers too.
The answer is to buy a costume which fits and is not too old.

Quoted message said:

3. If you are one of those guys who is worried that your suit will come
off while swimming so that you pull it up way too high and then cinch it
tightly, please don't wear a speedo.

Duncan Heenan said:

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Duncan Heenan said:

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
> [email hidden] wrote:
>> I officiate a lot meets and I've noticed there seems to be more boys
>> going back to the brief-style suits from the jammers. So hang in
>> there--they may be on their way to being ......... (insert current
>> slang meaning socially acceptable to your peers).
>>
>
> They are cheaper, faster to dry, and cheaper.

And for those to whom it matters, they don't look so silly.

If you get one that is too small or too big, there is a silliness
factor. And in the old days, if you wore them too long, the pool
chemicals would leach out the color and they became see-through.

I think these are the guidelines for whether a male will look silly in
a speedo:

1. If your legs are so skinny that the leg holes are actually bigger
around than your legs, please don't wear a speedo.

2. If you are so fat that when you put the speedo on, it disappears
completely, please don't wear a speedo.

All of which applies to jammers too.

Well, at least if you're too skinny for jammers, your jtailor doesn't
hang out.

Quoted message said:

The answer is to buy a costume which fits and is not too old.

Quoted message said:

3. If you are one of those guys who is worried that your suit will
come off while swimming so that you pull it up way too high and then
cinch it tightly, please don't wear a speedo.

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well, at least if you're too skinny for jammers, your jtailor doesn't
hang out.

Speak for yourself

LouF said:

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well, at least if you're too skinny for jammers, your jtailor doesn't
hang out.

Speak for yourself

Ok, maybe if you're a dwarf, but that would be an artindale.

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

LouF said:

"mwsmith" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well, at least if you're too skinny for jammers, your jtailor doesn't
hang out.

Speak for yourself

Ok, maybe if you're a dwarf, but that would be an artindale.

I am not a dwarf, I am 5'11" or 180CM tall.

What is a jtailor?

Micheal

(bob calkins) said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

Think about it, why does you coach say so? When you work that out,
you'll have worked out that you're also the one who wants to wear them
too.

Unless off course the coach is asking you to wear them, say, only over
your head and nothing elsewhere.

aquachimp said:

(bob calkins) said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

Think about it, why does you coach say so? When you work that out,
you'll have worked out that you're also the one who wants to wear them
too.

Unless off course the coach is asking you to wear them, say, only over
your head and nothing elsewhere.

The only reason a coach would require a team member to wear a certain
suit is because it is the team uniform. If you can't even wear the team
uniform, then get off the team.

mwsmith said:

aquachimp said:

(bob calkins) said:

I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
sugestions

Quoted message said:

Think about it, why does you coach say so? When you work that out,
you'll have worked out that you're also the one who wants to wear them
too.

Quoted message said:

Unless off course the coach is asking you to wear them, say, only over
your head and nothing elsewhere.

The only reason a coach would require a team member to wear a certain
suit is because it is the team uniform. If you can't even wear the team
uniform, then get off the team.

Well, I'd say that argument might apply in the case of custom designed
swim wear, but the OP didn't mention that clause. So, as it stands,
one team member might have a pink speedo with a floral design, whilst
another, a dark blue with an Action Man motif, yet both comply as
having the 'team uniform'

In the case as you present, the purpose of insisting on a custom
designed 'team suit' might (other than team building, recognition
bonding) also be to have a team devoid of financially deprived members
who might be less able to pay for a custom designed suit, which, might
also be only available at specially selected stores doing a deal with
said coach/school and more likely entirely made up of wealthy team
members for the obvious advantages that might bring to the coach/
school.

Other than that, I'd suggest that a coach might want speedos so that
the swimmers aren't jumping into the water whilst wearing half a tent
that still has large quantities of soap products from the pre-swim
shower.

aquachimp said:

mwsmith said:

aquachimp said:

On Oct 3, 10:08 pm, [email hidden] (bob calkins) wrote:
> I have to wear speedos the coach says so. I do not want to. Any
> sugestions
Think about it, why does you coach say so? When you work that out,
you'll have worked out that you're also the one who wants to wear them
too.
Unless off course the coach is asking you to wear them, say, only over
your head and nothing elsewhere.

The only reason a coach would require a team member to wear a certain
suit is because it is the team uniform. If you can't even wear the team
uniform, then get off the team.

Well, I'd say that argument might apply in the case of custom designed
swim wear, but the OP didn't mention that clause. So, as it stands,
one team member might have a pink speedo with a floral design, whilst
another, a dark blue with an Action Man motif, yet both comply as
having the 'team uniform'

In the case as you present, the purpose of insisting on a custom
designed 'team suit' might (other than team building, recognition
bonding) also be to have a team devoid of financially deprived members
who might be less able to pay for a custom designed suit, which, might
also be only available at specially selected stores doing a deal with
said coach/school and more likely entirely made up of wealthy team
members for the obvious advantages that might bring to the coach/
school.

Other than that, I'd suggest that a coach might want speedos so that
the swimmers aren't jumping into the water whilst wearing half a tent
that still has large quantities of soap products from the pre-swim
shower.

Competitive swimmers generally don't take soap showers before swimming.
If the requirement is not the team uniform one, then there is no valid
requirement. In my own experience, I've never had a coach that required
a speedo for any reason other than to present a team image.

By the way, if you're going to take a soap shower, you are supposed to
take the suit off.