Horns

<[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

This four-horned monster charged me on the cement bike path:

http://i7.tinypic.com/4y7cbgx.jpg

Four more horns, a little later:

http://i8.tinypic.com/4yjyjvn.jpg

Cheers,

Carl Fogel

Pshaw, boy...them's antennae an' antlers. We gots horns on some of ar bulls
out in the pasture, but ain't none on thet thar ass-car-got nor them venison
steaks on the hoof, neither.

Cal
(knows the difference)

Quoted message said:

This four-horned monster charged me on the cement bike path:

http://i7.tinypic.com/4y7cbgx.jpg

Four more horns, a little later:

http://i8.tinypic.com/4yjyjvn.jpg

I here I thought they were going to be horns of goats.

Greg

--
The ticketbastard Tax Tracker:
http://www.ticketmastersucks.org/tracker.html

Dethink to survive - Mclusky

On Fri, 25 May 2007 23:09:45 -0700, "G.T." <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

This four-horned monster charged me on the cement bike path:

http://i7.tinypic.com/4y7cbgx.jpg

Four more horns, a little later:

http://i8.tinypic.com/4yjyjvn.jpg

I thought they were going to be horns of goats.

Greg

Dear Greg,

Snails or goatheads, it makes little difference--that thing was the
size of a $41 roll of stamps! I know exactly how this boy felt:

http://img.breitbart.com/images/2007/5/25/D8PBKB5G0/D8PBKB5G0.jpg

Even if you avoid impaling a tire on the snail's four jutting horns,
the sharp-edged flakes of its cracked shell will cut through the
rubber of your tire like flint chips.

Yes, I know that Jobst will claim that the snail's horns aren't long
enough, that they're too soft to pierce rubber, and that he's never
flatted on a snail-shell, but I notice that he takes care to ride up
high in the snowy Alps, not down low in sunny, snail-infested France.

And snails carry something much more sinister than horns.

Since this is a family newsgroup, I can only hint at the hideous
tire-puncturing possibilities of this four-edged bayonet, which serves
as a bouquet of roses or a box of candy in the snail world:

http://www.weichtiere.at/images/weichtiere/schnecken/weinberg/pfeil.jpg

"Terribly sorry, I mistook your bicycle tire for an attractive snail."

It's no coincidence that snail rhymes with nail. The unspeakable
details may be found here:

http://www.weichtiere.at/Mollusks/Schnecken/land/weinberg/reproduction.html

"When you push the end of a paper clip through a tiny hole in what
used to be your new tire, you'll know what to do."

--Gen. George S. Peloton, "The Use of Melted Butter in Snail Control"

As for the two deer, their horns won't be sharp enough to puncture
tires before autumn. Luckily, the deer here eat the snails and perish
of Chronic Wasting Disease, so one threat to my tires cancels out the
other.

I did, however, pry three goathead thorns out of my front tire before
my ride today and had to put in a fresh Slime tube.

Sadly, snails don't eat goatheads, even though these pictures suggest
that they might be able to crawl over the thorns, unharmed:

http://www.weichtiere.at/english/gastropoda/terrestrial/escargot/knife_lucorum.html

Cheers,

Carl Fogel

Quoted message said:

This four-horned monster charged me on the cement bike path:

http://i7.tinypic.com/4y7cbgx.jpg

Four more horns, a little later:

http://i8.tinypic.com/4yjyjvn.jpg

The one on the right is clearly possessed by alien lizards.