Some people know me all too well.
The Devil Went Down to Moab
by Jeffreak
The Devil went down to Moab.
He was looking for a trail to ride.
Singletrack or doubletrack,
Just how could he decide?
When he came upon this young man
ridin' his bike and ridin' it hard.
The Devil hopped off of his Huffy bike
And offered the guy his card.
"I bet you didn't know it,
but I'm a hard core biker too.
And if you ain't too busy surfin' the net,
I'll make a bet with you.
Now you spin a pretty good gear my friend,
but you damn sure ain't the pooh.
I'll bet a cycle of gold against your soul
‘Cause I know I'm faster than you."
The boy said, "My name's Jerry,
and my hair may be too long.
But I'll take your bet
you're gonna regret
‘Cause I'll smoke you like a bong."
Jerry tighten up your spokes
and spin your pedals fast.
‘Cause Satan's loose in Utah
and he hates to finish last.
Now if you win you'll get this
shiny Huffy made of gold.
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul.
The Devil popped his kickstand up,
and said,"I'll start this race."
But his cloven hooves slipped off his pedals
and he landed on his face.
He picked himself up off the ground,
and was he ever [censored].
He spewed a stream of obscenities,
and it sounded something like this.
When the Devil finished, Jerry said, "Well, that wasn't very cool.
Now shut your mouth and pay attention, you pathetic little fool.
Straight up the mountain. Ride, Freak, Ride.
With tires that are extra wide.
Jumpin' them rocks and kickin' up dirt.
Ass so numb it no longer hurts.
The Devil shook his head and whispered, "Boy! I really suck."
Then he loaded the golden Huffy in the back of Jerry's Truck.
And Jerry said, "Devil, I'd invite you back if you weren't such a chump.
Now I'm taken this piece of Huffy [censored] straight over to the dump."
Straight up the mountain. Ride, Freak, Ride.
With tires that are extra wide.
Jumpin' them rocks and kickin' up dirt.
Ass so numb it no longer hurts.