Subject: Huh?
I think the first one is the most profound. <G>
Life's Little Questions.....
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use the
bubblesare always white?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message one slice? Howmany
pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuffin
that slot?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put itdown to
give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not,
then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your
clothes, would they eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its
allright'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you
stupid idiot'?
Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to th etop
you always think there's still one more step?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off of the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash
pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering
what the heck happened?
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who
really is the dumber sex?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just
as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and are
deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?
Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no
sense in two people remembering the same things right?
Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't haveto
live with women?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife
told you the first time?
Battle of the sexes
WOMEN'S REVENGE: "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV
remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do
to him."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE): I know I'm not going to
understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, and rip the hair out by the root, and still
be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR : While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is
essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each
other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite
flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop
right here.
WIFE V/S HUSBAND: A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
VERBOSITY: A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women
use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to
be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, "What?"