General fitness, health and nutrition · Public discussion

Joke Du Jour, A cure for shyness

Started by OmManiPadmeOmelet · · Last activity · 27 posts · 581 views

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General fitness, health and nutrition
Published
5 April 2006
Last activity
10 April 2006
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OmManiPadmeOmelet
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27
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  1. Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from
    shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask
    your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

    Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and
    more confident about yourself and your actions.

    Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let
    you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about
    anything.

    You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately,
    and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles
    that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

    Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past,
    and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding
    and start living, with Tequila®.

    Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are
    pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't
    mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

    Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
    erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
    money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
    headache, dehydration, drymouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play
    all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

    Tequila®. Leave Shyness Behind.(tm)
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  2. OmManiPadmeOmelet said:

    Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting,

    heh. don't I know it.... and you wonder why I don't touch the stuff any
    more? 🙂

    --
    Cheers
    Cathy(xyz)

  3. OmManiPadmeOmelet <[email hidden]> wrote in news:Omelet-
    [email hidden]:

    Quoted message said:


    Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from
    shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask
    your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

    Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and
    more confident about yourself and your actions.

    Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let
    you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about
    anything.

    You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately,
    and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles
    that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

    Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past,
    and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding
    and start living, with Tequila®.

    Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are
    pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who


    wouldn't

    Quoted message said:

    mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

    Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
    erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
    money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
    headache, dehydration, drymouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play
    all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

    Tequila®. Leave Shyness Behind.(tm)

    TRUE!

    OMG. My only poison. And your JDJ explains it expertly.

    A whole beach town knew me after one night of tequilla slammers and a
    puff of this or that. Folks waving at me, calling me by name the next
    morning. Just overnight.

    Andy
    Falling off three cement steps to the sidewalk. Don't remember where I
    was headed until I was at another party and someone asked "WHAT HAPPENED
    TO YOUR LEG?" I looked at my jeans and from just below the knee-cap down
    was soaked in blood. Didn't hurt a bit! Well it ain't a tatoo but, ya
    know!

  4. In article <[email hidden]>,

    cathyxyz said:
    OmManiPadmeOmelet said:

    Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting,

    heh. don't I know it.... and you wonder why I don't touch the stuff any
    more? 🙂

    Smart you... ;-)
    I switched to Vodka

    More predictable results.......
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  5. In article <[email hidden]>,

    cathyxyz said:
    OmManiPadmeOmelet said:

    Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting,

    heh. don't I know it.... and you wonder why I don't touch the stuff any
    more? 🙂

    Smart you... ;-)
    I switched to Vodka

    More predictable results.......
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  6. In article said:
    Quoted message said:

    Tequila®. Leave Shyness Behind.(tm)

    TRUE!

    OMG. My only poison. And your JDJ explains it expertly.

    ;-)

    Quoted message said:


    A whole beach town knew me after one night of tequilla slammers and a
    puff of this or that. Folks waving at me, calling me by name the next
    morning. Just overnight.

    Famous after one try? Well done! <lol>

    Quoted message said:


    Andy
    Falling off three cement steps to the sidewalk. Don't remember where I
    was headed until I was at another party and someone asked "WHAT HAPPENED
    TO YOUR LEG?" I looked at my jeans and from just below the knee-cap down
    was soaked in blood. Didn't hurt a bit! Well it ain't a tatoo but, ya
    know!

    <snicker>
    No pain no gain....... ;-D
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  7. OmManiPadmeOmelet said:


    Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from
    shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask
    your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

    When I hear the word Tequila, it reminds me of the song "Tequila" and
    PeeWee Herman dancing in the bar wearing those platform shoes.

    ;-)

    Rusty

  8. OmManiPadmeOmelet said:


    Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from
    shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask
    your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

    Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and
    more confident about yourself and your actions.

    Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let
    you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about
    anything.

    You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately,
    and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles
    that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

    Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past,
    and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding
    and start living, with Tequila®.

    Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are
    pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't
    mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

    Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
    erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
    money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
    headache, dehydration, drymouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play
    all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

    Tequila®. Leave Shyness Behind.(tm)
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

    lol

    http://d21c.com/scratch/holidays/egg.swf

  9. Here in Oz (tralia) the legal age for drinking is 18.

    When the evil duo (my twins) turned 18 we had a huge (and I mean HUGE)
    party at home for them.

    One of son's bestest friends in the whole wide world spent much of the
    evening wrapped around our downstairs toilet talking to God on the big
    white telephone - after imbibing a WHOLE bottle of tequila..... on an
    empty stomach. Had started around midday at a club near his Uni and
    didn't stop until the bottle was empty!

    To this day - the mention of tequila sends him bolting for the loo.

    (And being the evil mother I am, got snippets of the whole party on
    video, including said young man being physically hauled from the toilet
    so others could use it, then thoughtfully being placed back in his
    position of choice... hehehehe)

    Can't put an old head on young shoulders..... I kind of think of it as
    evolution in action.

    hehehe

    LadyJane
    (remembers well her ill-spent youth and is glad she survived to talk
    about it!)
    --
    "Never trust a skinny cook!"

  10. LadyJane said:

    To this day - the mention of tequila sends him bolting for the loo.

    To this day I'm amazed at the number of people I've met who have that
    same reaction. And no, it's not that there's a particular liquor out
    there for which they have bad memories, it's specifically tequila ("t'
    kill ya"😉. I've done shots a few times but made it a hard and fast rule
    to never over imbibe on that particular libation.

    --

    -Jeff B.
    zoomie at fastmail dot fm

  11. In article <[email hidden]>,

    Freight Train Jones said:

    lol

    http://d21c.com/scratch/holidays/egg.swf

    I saw this one last year... :-)

    Time to pass it on again, thanks! <lol>
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  12. In article <[email hidden]>,

    LadyJane said:

    Here in Oz (tralia) the legal age for drinking is 18.

    When the evil duo (my twins) turned 18 we had a huge (and I mean HUGE)
    party at home for them.

    One of son's bestest friends in the whole wide world spent much of the
    evening wrapped around our downstairs toilet talking to God on the big
    white telephone - after imbibing a WHOLE bottle of tequila..... on an
    empty stomach. Had started around midday at a club near his Uni and
    didn't stop until the bottle was empty!

    To this day - the mention of tequila sends him bolting for the loo.

    Heh! After getting sick drunk on Tequila once, way back when I was 20 or
    so, I did not touch it again for about 10 years. I've managed to
    re-develop an appreciation for it again now that I never over-indulge
    anymore.

    Quoted message said:


    (And being the evil mother I am, got snippets of the whole party on
    video, including said young man being physically hauled from the toilet
    so others could use it, then thoughtfully being placed back in his
    position of choice... hehehehe)

    Can't put an old head on young shoulders..... I kind of think of it as
    evolution in action.

    hehehe

    LadyJane
    (remembers well her ill-spent youth and is glad she survived to talk
    about it!)

    You know you had a good time the night before if "American Standard" is
    impressed into your forehead in the morning...... <G>

    Quoted message said:


    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  13. OmManiPadmeOmelet said:

    Heh! After getting sick drunk on Tequila once, way back when I was 20 or
    so, I did not touch it again for about 10 years. I've managed to
    re-develop an appreciation for it again now that I never over-indulge
    anymore.

    Mighty fine sipping... http://www.patronspirits.com/
    --

    Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.

  14. Have not posted for the past 2 days, well, actually I have.
    None of my posts are getting thru. :-(

    Hopefully, posting thru google will work...

    Cheers!

    Om

  15. Quoted message said:

    Have not posted for the past 2 days, well, actually I have.
    None of my posts are getting thru. :-(

    Hopefully, posting thru google will work...

    Cheers!

    Om

    San Francisco to San Marcos. Reading you load and
    clear, over.

    ObFood: Pepper/onion bread coming out of the oven.

    --
    Reg

  16. Quoted message said:

    Have not posted for the past 2 days, well, actually I have.
    None of my posts are getting thru. :-(

    Usaully they all show up at once somebody takes a plunger to the
    news server.

    Quoted message said:

    Hopefully, posting thru google will work...

    Since it's Friday, I'd plan on using Google all weekend.

    -sw

  17. Quoted message said:

    Have not posted for the past 2 days, well, actually I have.
    None of my posts are getting thru. :-(

    Hopefully, posting thru google will work...

    Cheers!

    Om

    Hi lady!

    Carol
    --

    Some people are like Slinkies... they don't really have a purpose but
    they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

    Stolen from "traid" on the IRC

  18. I hope not... :-(
    Not only is it going to net me more spam, but google groups format
    SUCK!!!

  19. Cheers! :-)

    Obviously, I won't be posting much since posting thru google is such a
    Pain. <sigh> You really can't see all of the threads and this group
    generates so many messages.

    Guess I'll just take a sabbatical, and get my taxes done. <G>
    Might be a blessing in disguise!

    I'll use Austin.test to periodically check to see if the news server is
    back up.

    In the meantime, I guess it's ciao for now!

    Too bad too... I've got a real zinger of a JDJ to post. ;-D

  20. Quoted message said:

    Have not posted for the past 2 days, well, actually I have.
    None of my posts are getting thru. :-(

    Hopefully, posting thru google will work...

    Cheers!

    Hang in there, Luv...!!!

    --
    Best
    Greg

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