Another Pesky Lesson in Humility!
Hello out there in the Unicycling Community. I'm an enthusiastic 53
year old beginner. This is my first attempt at a post on any internet
forum, so if I should inadvertently commit any serious cyber blunders I
trust that y'all will set me straight!
I have been fascinated by unicycles and admiring of unicyclists since
the dawn of my own self awareness. Quite logically, I've also assumed
that only exceptional beings on the very highest rung of the
evolutionary ladder could ever hope to master such an inherently
instable and seemingly irrational device!
One evening last fall, while doing my daily 20 miles on the old Schwinn
Airdyne, my mind was wandering (as it is wont to do) and it occurred to
me that I could investigate unicycles on the internet. At the
conclusion of my ride I hopped off the bike and onto the information
super highway at 26 KBPS. After typing "unicycles" into Google, I hit
the search button and fell through the looking glass into an amazing
world whose extent and diversity exceeded anything I could ever have
imagined.
My unicycling "research" soon consumed all my spare time (and then
some!) as I feverishly followed links and absorbed information. (If
only I had applied myself so diligently in school my bank account might
be a little less emaciated today!)
I discovered, to my great delight, the Unicycling Community here, where
I was pleased to note the encouragement given to beginners, inspired by
the activities of older unicyclists, and eagerly followed the progress
of Dude With a Sock.
I began to believe that with patience and perseverance (of which I have
a great store) even a post middle aged and slightly overweight [censored]
like me, with no exceptional athletic ability, might just learn to
wobble around with some measure of control.
I began to develop ambitions! UDC's online catalog monopolized my
thoughts. I studied its offerings with all the intensity of Navy
carrier pilot on final approach.
Concluding that a 24"er would be appropriate for my 5'11"s, I agonized
over all the possible choices. Finally, my compulsive cheapskatedness
prevailed and I decided to go with a Torker LX 24, although my secret
heart's desire was the United XL 24 trainer. Gathering up my courage,
I finally launched this new adventure and ordered the Torker.
Hardly had I hit the submit button but I began to have doubts. Would
the Torker be stout enough for my 210 pounds? In a sudden flash of
financial schizophrenia I called UDC and changed the order to a United
XL 24 trainer. Now my bank account was battered but the adventure was
properly underway!
Just a day or two later I chanced upon Unityler's negative review of
the XL Trainer. Oops! Having now received it however, I have no
regrets - it's a pukka machine. That chromed and curvaceous unicrown
frame over the stoutly built 48 spoke Kovachi wheel, while it may not
be quite as alluring as Daisy Fuentes in a short skirt, isn't far
behind!
While waiting for the XL 24 to arrive, I read so many assertions that
it was easier to learn on a 20"er that I experienced another episode of
fiscal irrationality. Telling myself that I ought to take advantage of
every available assistance, I thought, "In for a penny, in for a
pound," and ordered a Torker LX 20. Obviously, my obsession with
learning to ride had superceded what little sense I may once have
possessed! Still, I was realistic enough to purchase a set of elbow
and knee pads, plus wrist guards, in anticipation of my date with
destiny.
Finally, the glorious day arrived; UPS appeared bearing a box full of
unicycle. With almost unendurable excitement I assembled the XL 24,
then headed for the backyard to attack the (0,0) point of the learning
curve. Since I was certain that, at this stage, every take off would
terminate with a UPD, I decided to start on grass. My procedure was to
curb mount using a portable plywood box built expressly for this
purpose, get stabilized and comfortable while hanging onto a tree limb
with my right hand, lean forward, release my tree limb, and start
pedaling.
Now I certainly wasn't progressing like these precocious teenagers who
are freemounting by sundown on their first day, but I was doing well
enough to keep my level of optimism elevated.
On day two I made a significant discovery. Although I thought I was
sitting up straight, I realized that pressing my hips forward just a
bit shifted my weight off my crotch and onto my bottom on the wide
after part of the seat, instantly reducing the tension in my legs.
Eureka!
By the end of the second day I was occasionally making 3 revolutions of
the pedals. Most of my rides were ending with the right pedal stuck
straight down, leading me to suspect that the further I went the more
my weight was shifting back to the pedals. Not an unexpected
tendency!
The initial part of the 3rd day was spent attempting to regain the 2nd
day's proficiency. For the first time I had an audience, which was
causing me considerable self conscious discomfort. I much prefer to
blunder about incompetently apart from the pressure of observing (even
if friendly) eyes.
On my final test flight of day 3, after a couple of pedal revolutions,
I found myself listing to starboard and pitching aft. The usual UPD
ensued.
As my right foot hit the ground I heard a most disquieting "crunch" and
was precipitously deposited upon my backside. Now, I've never before
broken a bone, but that crunch was all too self explanatory. I knew
with a sickening certainly that the carefree mobility I've casually
taken for granted had suddenly suffered a shattering blow.
Sure enough, after gingerly removing my shoe and sock, I found my foot
to be wobbling about in a disturbingly disjointed manner beneath a
swelling and increasingly painful ankle.
Now I was glad for that audience, as it provided me with a ride to the
emergency room! The nurse who first examined my then grotesquely
swollen ankle said, "Oh, that looks bad!" The Xray tech, who was
pretty doggoned cavalier in the way that he wrenched my traumatized
appendage about, said, "I'm not supposed to give out information, but
I'm gonna tell you, that thing's broken!" The doctor who read the Xray
said, "This doesn't look good. You have a right distal tibia and
fibula bimaleolar fracture. (a "bimal" in orthopedic surgeon slang!)
When I asked him how such an seemingly innocuous fall could have
resulted in such a spectacular fracture he shrugged and said that it
was just an unfortunate combination of vectors.
Twelve days later the swelling subsided enough for the surgeons to
slice into it. (I've since been informed by an experienced
anesthesiologist that the swelling decreases much quicker in patients
who have insurance. In President Bush's "Ownership Society" I fear I'm
just a renter!)
Now the Xrays look like a hardware store has taken up residence in my
ankle. I'm sporting a titanium plate about 4" long with 9 screws on
the fibula side and 2 screws in the tibia maleolus. I'm facing 6 weeks
in a cast with no weight on it whatsoever, followed by a month or so in
a walking boot. The doctor forecasts some 6 months for it to become as
strong as it will ever be and says that I won't need the weather
channel to know when the barometric pressure is changing. I asked him
if it would be OK for me to take up skydiving but he didn't seem to see
the humor in that!
I am, by nature and training, a modest and humble fellow. My years as
a motorcyclist, an ocean going tugboatman, a sailor, and a whitewater
canoeist have delivered me innumerable lessons in humility, some of
which were so emphatic as to be almost fatal! Why the fates find it
necessary to remind me once again of my own frail mortality is a
mystery to me!
Now I have no intention of letting this fractured ankle mark the end of
my unicycling ambitions, although it will certainly set them back for
more months than I care to contemplate. When I do resume my one
wheeled efforts, I believe that I'd best take all prudent precautions.
This injury has rendered me unable to drive and essentially useless for
the time being. More importantly, it's placed a considerable burden
upon my family and friends. This time they're sympathetic - if it
happens again they may well be derisive!
I'm thinking that I will forgo the "free range" method in favor of
riding alongside a wall or fence until I become a bit more competent.
I've even drawn up plans for a 4' wide plywood training track with
handrails on either side for "maximum protection and peace of mind."
A search of these forums for "broken ankle" revealed that others have
limped down this road before me. I will certainly be wearing ankle
braces like the ASO ankle supports recommended by Tellurider, whose
Xrays looked a whole lot like mine. If only my unicycling skills
looked a little like his I'd be happy!
I send this story along to y'all in the hope that the Unicycling
Community will read it with more understanding than my strictly
nonunicycling family and friends, most of whom thought that I was
flipping goofy for wanting to take up unicycling in the first place.
(Although the evidence might seem to indicate that they were correct, I
still contend that this fracture was a fluke!) I hardly dare to tell
them that I intend to continue!
Crippled but still keen,
I salute you!
Ronnie
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Ronnie
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