i was watching
'cookin' in brooklyn' on the discovery home channel...
chef alan harding was making chili, and it just looked god awful...
here is proof it exists:
http://home.discovery.com/fansites/cookininbrooklyn/recipes/chili.html
and here is the damage:
4-5 strips of bacon
Lots of black pepper shakes
1 package ground beef
1/2-1 lb. frozen turkey
2 onions
1 bell pepper
1 fennel
1-2 carrots
1/2 eggplant
2/3 tsp. curry powder
2 Tbsp. crushed red pepper
1-2 Tbsp. dried rosemary
1-2 Tbsp. adobo seasoning
5-7 garlic cloves
3 Tbsp. fig jam
1/2 cup yellow mustard
1-2 Tbsp. Thai chili sauce
1-2 Tbsp. hungarian paprika
1/2 cup barbecue sauce
1/3 jar of pickles (with juice!)
1 Poblano chili
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 Tbsp. salt
1/3 cup spaghetti sauce
1/2 pint of beer
1/2-1 cup rice
1 handful of baby arugula
2/3 cup cherry tomatoes
1 small package of crushed pork rinds
1 handful of cilantro
unlimited pepper jack cheese
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 can kidney beans
1 can pinto beans
To begin, pan-fry the bacon while adding black pepper to your liking.
While the bacon is cooking, start slicing your vegetables. Cut your
bell pepper, fennel, onions and carrots - trying to keep them all
relatively equal in size. Make sure the vegetables are cut and ground
through the food processor by the time the meat is ready. Grind your
vegetables carefully; they should be coarse and varying in size. Slice
the eggplant and Poblano chili and put those through the processor as
well.
After the bacon has cooked, add some of the frozen ground turkey to the
left over bacon fat. Simmer the turkey in the fat, keeping the turkey
one level across so it cooks evenly. Sprinkle on some more cracked
black pepper as the turkey cooks. Add your fresh ground beef and a good
amount of salt to the ground turkey once it's thawed. Sprinkle some
cinnamon and cayenne pepper, as well as paprika, crushed red pepper,
adobo seasoning, dried rosemary and curry powder to the cooking meat.
Next, add vegetables to the ground meat. Mix the vegetables throughout
the meat, allowing them to brown slightly. While the content's cooking,
add pinto beans (sauce included) and kidney beans to the pot.
For the sauce, combine some garlic cloves, fig jam, mustard, Thai
sauce, barbecue sauce, pickles (sauce included), brown sugar and
spaghetti sauce. Puree the mixture in the blender thoroughly and add
the finished product to the chili. Pour a half-pint of beer into the
chili and allow it to simmer on a medium flame for about an hour. Add
the rice and arugula, and finally some cherry tomatoes and crushed pork
rinds. Stir evenly and serve with cilantro, pepper jack cheese and
bacon bits on the side.
it makes me want to drop to one knee
and weep openly,
and deeply
for all of humanity
-matt