How do you react?

"Claire Petersky" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an
accomplishment that for you, would be rather lame?

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to someone,
and says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert name] is into
cycling too!". The person you meet then informs you that she rode seven
whole miles down the multi-use trail last Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70
miles last Sunday, and 700 miles that month.

Or, you are at the beer garden at the end of a century. Someone tells you
that they did the whole 100 miles, in 10 hours! Wow! And you did it in 5
hours in a tightly organized little paceline. Or she got up that big steep
hill towards the end by just telling herself she wouldn't let her mph slip
below 5 mph the whole way up -- and you didn't let your mph slip below 10.

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

Or?

I must admit I feel a little smugly superior. But I also wish them a
sincere, 'good for you'. I often see some very large people obviously
taking of cycling as part of a weight loss attempt. I say, at least they're
trying.

Though not cycling: I came to meet and exchange smalltalk with a person in
the exercise area where I swim and she does the treadmill. She was nice
young girl, a univ. student. She was quite large but she was determined and
stuck to her treadmill for a the entire two semesters she was there. I had
the same 'good for her' sense. I admired her determination if not her
distance.

Now if someone brags boorishly about doing 12 whole kilometres I might feel
the desire to carelessly drop what I consider a so-so workout.

--
'An evil life is a kind of death.' -ovid

"Claire Petersky" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an

accomplishment

Quoted message said:

that for you, would be rather lame?

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to someone,

and

Quoted message said:

says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert name] is into

cycling

Quoted message said:

too!". The person you meet then informs you that she rode seven whole

miles

Quoted message said:

down the multi-use trail last Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70 miles last
Sunday, and 700 miles that month.

Or, you are at the beer garden at the end of a century. Someone tells you
that they did the whole 100 miles, in 10 hours! Wow! And you did it in 5
hours in a tightly organized little paceline. Or she got up that big steep
hill towards the end by just telling herself she wouldn't let her mph slip
below 5 mph the whole way up -- and you didn't let your mph slip below 10.

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

Or?

--
Warm Regards,

hey that was me! 🙂 ....actually i always play down my cycling
accomplishments because i want to encourage others to get out of their cars
and ride.
-alan

Claire Petersky said:

Or, you are at the beer garden at the end of a century. Someone tells you
that they did the whole 100 miles, in 10 hours! Wow! And you did it in 5
hours in a tightly organized little paceline.

:-) I've solved that problem by getting old! 5 hour centuries just
don't apply to me.

Quoted message said:

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

My reaction is closest to the latter. Actually, I might say something
like "Cool! What kind of bike do you have?" or some other slight
change of subject.

- Frank Krygowski

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an accomplishment
that for you, would be rather lame?

IMO, the best thing is to appreciate whatever they think they have
achieved. For their level, it is a great thing. I have had days when i
had done ~30miles and felt good - because i was just into cycling
then... We gotto view it from that person's point of view and try to
appreciate the fact. If you are way way over, still there are common
subjects as to what structure of training do they do ? or even simpler
topics like what motivates them to cycle, how long they have been
cycling, different types of bicycles/rides, etc..

One thing is how modest you can be when asked about yourself is a
tougher. I would meekly put forth my state and try to convince that with
the proper training, anyone can do the kind of rides you do. It is
important for them to understand that it is possible and there are ways
to get to that level...

just another rec. cyclist,
+ravi

In article <[email hidden]>,

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an accomplishment
that for you, would be rather lame?

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to someone, and
says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert name] is into cycling
too!". The person you meet then informs you that she rode seven whole miles
down the multi-use trail last Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70 miles last
Sunday, and 700 miles that month.

I would say ask them what the next landmark is. If they're truly serious
about cycling, they'll be going farther and faster before too much longer,
and it gives you a chance to talk about how hard it is to do the truly
superhuman stuff (and how much easier it gets when you're on the other
side of "taking it seriously in the long term"😉.
Note that this is just a theory and has never been tested in intersections
with reality.

I've run into kind of the inverse problem. How do you deal with people
who think you're really hardcore into biking just because you ride your
bike everywhere (at least when the weather's decent) and randomly decide
to do a 30km ride because the weather's great and you could use a break
from life for an hour or two? "I'm not any more hardcore about my bike
than you are about your car" didn't really work as well as I'd've liked.

dave

--
Dave Vandervies [email hidden]

"Everyone else" writes buffer overrun bugs. Be smarter than "everyone else".
--Chris Torek in comp.lang.c

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an accomplishment
that for you, would be rather lame?

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to someone, and
says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert name] is into cycling
too!". The person you meet then informs you that she rode seven whole miles
down the multi-use trail last Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70 miles last
Sunday, and 700 miles that month.

Or, you are at the beer garden at the end of a century. Someone tells you
that they did the whole 100 miles, in 10 hours! Wow! And you did it in 5
hours in a tightly organized little paceline. Or she got up that big steep
hill towards the end by just telling herself she wouldn't let her mph slip
below 5 mph the whole way up -- and you didn't let your mph slip below 10.

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

Or?

I just try to listen politely and congratulate them. In the scenario
you describe, I'd try to downplay my own achievements. That's usually
not that hard to do since most people love talking about their own
achievements. If *you* can resist that temptation the other person will
usually fill in any conversational gaps. <g>

Regards,
Bob Hunt

Dave Vandervies said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an accomplishment
that for you, would be rather lame?

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to someone, and
says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert name] is into cycling
too!". The person you meet then informs you that she rode seven whole miles
down the multi-use trail last Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70 miles last
Sunday, and 700 miles that month.

I've run into kind of the inverse problem. How do you deal with people
who think you're really hardcore into biking just because you ride your
bike everywhere (at least when the weather's decent) and randomly decide
to do a 30km ride because the weather's great and you could use a break
from life for an hour or two? "I'm not any more hardcore about my bike
than you are about your car" didn't really work as well as I'd've liked.

Haha...me too! I told some friends that I rode 40 miles in about 3.5
hours with a friend (slow pace for me) and they freaked out. "Holy
[censored], Paul! You're INSANE!!!" Only response I could think of was, "''I
guess so." They also thought it was incredible that I hadn't driven a
car in three weeks.

--
Paul M. Hobson
Georgia Institute of Technology
..:change the words to numbers
if you want to reply to me:.

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 03:41:22 GMT,
<[email hidden]>,

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an accomplishment
that for you, would be rather lame?

Congratulate them and then change the subject to bike tech type stuff
until their eyes glaze over and they excuse themselves.
--
zk

Quoted message said:

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

You simply remark that it's a good thing Lance has retired, since it sounds
like you'd be on his back! That succeeds on a number of levels, because it
can be taken humorously if the person has a clue, or will truly sound like a
compliment if they don't.

The situation is hardly unique; I encounter it often at the shop. It's
important that I recognize that people dream of different things, or similar
things on vastly differing scales, than I might. And those dreams are
something to be encouraged and built upon. Everybody has to start somewhere,
and if a bicycle can be the center of their dream, well, life could be a lot
worse for someone in the bike biz!

--Mike-- Chain Reaction Bicycles
www.ChainReactionBicycles.com

"Claire Petersky" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an
accomplishment that for you, would be rather lame?

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to someone,
and says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert name] is into
cycling too!". The person you meet then informs you that she rode seven
whole miles down the multi-use trail last Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70
miles last Sunday, and 700 miles that month.

Or, you are at the beer garden at the end of a century. Someone tells you
that they did the whole 100 miles, in 10 hours! Wow! And you did it in 5
hours in a tightly organized little paceline. Or she got up that big steep
hill towards the end by just telling herself she wouldn't let her mph slip
below 5 mph the whole way up -- and you didn't let your mph slip below 10.

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

Or?

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Personal page: http://www.geocities.com/cpetersky/
See the books I've set free at:
http://bookcrossing.com/referral/Cpetersky

Claire Petersky <[email hidden]> wrote:
:> I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head
:> for a while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists
:> here, how do you react when you encounter someone who is very proud
:> of an accomplishment that for you, would be rather lame?
:>
:> For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to
:> someone, and says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert
:> name] is into cycling too!". The person you meet then informs you
:> that she rode seven whole miles down the multi-use trail last
:> Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70 miles last Sunday, and 700 miles that
:> month.
:>
:> Or, you are at the beer garden at the end of a century. Someone
:> tells you that they did the whole 100 miles, in 10 hours! Wow! And
:> you did it in 5 hours in a tightly organized little paceline. Or she
:> got up that big steep hill towards the end by just telling herself
:> she wouldn't let her mph slip below 5 mph the whole way up -- and
:> you didn't let your mph slip below 10.
:>
:> Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates
:> his/her accomplishment?

Heck, no...that second accomplishment you listed is significant no matter
that it took 10 hours. And even 7 miles is a big deal for some folks.

:> Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed
:> as to your god(dess)-like cycling status?

hehe....just talk about Lance, right.

:> Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
:> self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?
:>
:> Or?
:>

I'd talk about Lance. Ask what kind of bike they ride. But then, I'm not
one of those "advanced" recreational cyclist you mentioned so many I should
keep quiet, huh?

🙂

Zoot Katz <[email hidden]> wrote:
:> Tue, 18 Oct 2005 03:41:22 GMT,
:> <[email hidden]>,
:> "Claire Petersky" <[email hidden]> wrote:
:>
:>>I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head
:>>for a while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists
:>>here, how do you react when you encounter someone who is very proud
:>>of an accomplishment that for you, would be rather lame?
:>
:> Congratulate them and then change the subject to bike tech type stuff
:> until their eyes glaze over and they excuse themselves.

I like that! 🙂

Mike Jacoubowsky <[email hidden]> wrote:
:>> Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates
:>> his/her accomplishment?
:>> Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed
:>> as to your god(dess)-like cycling status?
:>> Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
:>> self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?
:>
:> You simply remark that it's a good thing Lance has retired, since it
:> sounds like you'd be on his back! That succeeds on a number of
:> levels, because it can be taken humorously if the person has a clue,
:> or will truly sound like a compliment if they don't.
:>
:> The situation is hardly unique; I encounter it often at the shop.
:> It's important that I recognize that people dream of different
:> things, or similar things on vastly differing scales, than I might.
:> And those dreams are something to be encouraged and built upon.
:> Everybody has to start somewhere, and if a bicycle can be the center
:> of their dream, well, life could be a lot worse for someone in the
:> bike biz!

Interesting.

In article <[email hidden]>,

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an accomplishment
that for you, would be rather lame?

i'm congratulatory and encouraging and try to keep them excited and
engaged about their experience. Raining on a person's parade is so
.... venal? cheesy? mean-spirited? Sophmoric posturing?

I try to ensure the person felt happier and more motivated about riding
as a result of our conversation, excited about the fun yet to be had. We
talk lots about how much fun they had, not how elite i think i am.

It sounds as though you may have witnessed a blowhard raining on a
newbie's parade?

..max

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an accomplishment
that for you, would be rather lame?

Quoted message said:

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

Or?

If they're self-centered in their "tale", I ditch them ASAP. Many years
ago my wife and I agreed that there's really nothing more boring than
hearing about someone else's workout, even if that someone is somebody
you care about. Many people haven't reached that realization.

I've been doing the same Saturday morning "fitness" ride for many (9?)
years now. I'm always amazed by the clueless types who want to talk
about *their* ride over coffee afterwards. They're almost always newbies.

If the person is being a bore and droning on & on about themselves, I'll
move on. If they're just describing an event they participated in, I
don't find the absolute or relative (to me, of course) achievement to be
an issue worth comment -- or even notice. Many people can make an
interesting story out of a mundane event.

There's always common ground to be found between people who are trying.
I imagine Lance & I could talk about what socks we liked.

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an accomplishment
that for you, would be rather lame?

Quoted message said:

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to someone, and
says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert name] is into cycling
too!". The person you meet then informs you that she rode seven whole miles
down the multi-use trail last Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70 miles last
Sunday, and 700 miles that month.

It's important to remember that many cyclists have different goals, and
what represents a towering accomplishment for one, might be a small
achivement, hardly worth mention for another.

Many ride simply for fun and casual recreation, and couldn't care less
about the distance they ride, or their average speed.

Quoted message said:

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

Pump them up. Make them feel good about it! Buy them a bell for their
birthday. Save any inkling as to your seriousness for the leisurely
ride you'll take together (you DO suggest hooking up on a trail that
weekend, don't you?). When they see your ride, and the slight nudging
toward a faster pace, they'll get the picture. And when you show them
how fun your level of riding is, maybe they'll ratchet up to it.

Or maybe not. Maybe all you can manage is a Sunday donut ride with
them. But encourage their habit, and introduce them to more riders. Ask
common friends to check up on their bike usage.

Claire Petersky said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an

accomplishment

Quoted message said:

that for you, would be rather lame?

Though I'm not sure I'd qualify as "advanced," I'll just say, It's all
relative, and a personal best is a personal best.

I have no trouble expressing genuine appreciation for the accomplishment of
someone who has just manage to do 10 miles on the bike path, or make it up a
big hill without stopping for the first time. For many of us, it's not a
competition, except maybe with ones self.

As for what to talk about, if they've gone five miles out and back on the
bike path, I might say how pretty the next five miles are. If it's a hill, I
might say, Aren't hills fun? I used to avoid them and now I like them!

"Claire Petersky" <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head
for a while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists
here, how do you react when you encounter someone who is very proud
of an accomplishment that for you, would be rather lame?

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to
someone, and says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert
name] is into cycling too!". The person you meet then informs you
that she rode seven whole miles down the multi-use trail last
Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70 miles last Sunday, and 700 miles
that month.

Or, you are at the beer garden at the end of a century. Someone
tells you that they did the whole 100 miles, in 10 hours! Wow! And
you did it in 5 hours in a tightly organized little paceline. Or
she got up that big steep hill towards the end by just telling
herself she wouldn't let her mph slip below 5 mph the whole way up
-- and you didn't let your mph slip below 10.

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates
his/her accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed
as to your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

Or?

Claire - sounds like you had an experience where this happened to you.
Were you the former, or latter, person?

Actually, I just had a similar experience. I was at a party, and these
two guys started talking about their biking, and started making plans to
bike the next day. My wife mentioned that I bike commute, and like to be
on my bike, too, and suggested I should join them for a ride. They said,
well, we go pretty fast and pretty far. I sheepishly asked, "How fast
and how far?", hoping that they don't keep a 20mph pace for 40 to 50
miles on a Sunday morning and I'd have to back out. "Oh, we go fast!
Probably 14 to 16mph or so. And, we'll go, I dunno, maybe 10 to 15
miles."

My immediate reaction, inside, was to laugh. In their minds, they were
gods of bicycling, and seemed to beam with pride at how good they were,
when talking about it. But, I pulled myself together and I praised them
for riding, and asked them if it would be ok if I would ride with them
the next Sunday - and mentioned that I'll try to keep up with them.

As we rode, that Sunday, I kept complimenting them that they're on their
bikes and getting some good exercise, since so many adults buy bikes and
let them hang in their garages, never to be used. They picked up, pretty
quickly, that I was not having a difficult time keeping up with them,
and made comment about it, even apologizing to me that they weren't
challenging me. But, I just downplayed my own 'abilities' (though,
admittedly not much better than theirs), and told them that they're
doing great. I tried to make them feel good about what they were doing,
because I really do think it's great that they're riding, and hope they
keep it up for a very long time, and get their kids and wives doing it,
too!

I think it's just wrong to rip someone who thinks they're doing a good
job with their bicycling. I'm sure you do, too, Claire, knowing your
personality. Make them feel good about themselves, and encourage them to
keep going. You don't want to make them feel bad about their
accomplishment, and eventually quit bicycling altogether. Remember, we
all were at the lower levels at some point in our lives. I admit still
am, compared to many here in this group, so I'm not one who should
boast.

At the risk of sounding hokey, since you're into Meditative Bicycling,
here are a few quotes for you to ponder, Claire:

"All meditation must begin with arousing deep compassion. Whatever one
does must emerge from an attitude of love and benefiting others." -
Milarepa

"All happiness comes from the desire for others to be happy. All misery
comes from the desire for oneself to be happy. -Shantideva

"Whenever you hear that someone else has been successful, rejoice.
Always practice rejoicing for others--whether your friend or your enemy.
If you cannot practice rejoicing, no matter how long you live, you will
not be happy." -Lama Zopa Rinpoche

"I ask myself: 'Am I content to be nobody as long as I can help someone
else become somebody?'" -David Roper

--
Eric Babula
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA

Speak softly and wear a loud shirt.

"Claire Petersky" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I'll ask a general question that's been rolling around in my head for a
while. Since there are many "advanced" recreational cyclists here, how do
you react when you encounter someone who is very proud of an
accomplishment that for you, would be rather lame?

For example: you are at a party. The hostess introduces you to someone,
and says, as a way to help along conversation, "oh [insert name] is into
cycling too!". The person you meet then informs you that she rode seven
whole miles down the multi-use trail last Sunday. Meanwhile, you rode 70
miles last Sunday, and 700 miles that month.

Or, you are at the beer garden at the end of a century. Someone tells you
that they did the whole 100 miles, in 10 hours! Wow! And you did it in 5
hours in a tightly organized little paceline. Or she got up that big steep
hill towards the end by just telling herself she wouldn't let her mph slip
below 5 mph the whole way up -- and you didn't let your mph slip below 10.

Do you smirk at that person condescendingly while s/he relates his/her
accomplishment?
Do you break in to the person's tale and make sure s/he is informed as to
your god(dess)-like cycling status?
Do you listen attentively and politely, and then make modest,
self-deprecating remarks when asked about yourself?

Or?

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Personal page: http://www.geocities.com/cpetersky/
See the books I've set free at:
http://bookcrossing.com/referral/Cpetersky

=====================================

If the "woman" is beautiful and sexy and looks available ......... "You did
7 miles"! "Wow", "that is like really FAR"!

Quoted message said: