Dutchy said:hear lots of (possibly urban myth) stories about peoples
cracking/crunching CF bars/seatposts due to overtightening.
It's not overtightening per-se that damages carbon parts, it's sharp edges cutting into the carbon that does them in.
Carbon parts don't have the same amount of surface toughness that aluminium or steel parts do, as the surface is simply epoxy (plastic). So if there's anything that's vaguely sharp, like burrs or sharp corners, it will cut into the carbon fairly quickly.
This is most evident with steel frames, where the binder bolt is right at the top of the seat lug. When you flogg (important technical term for do up really tight) the binder bolt up, the square corners at the back top of the seat lug press into the post, and may cut into it. The solution is to move the binder bolt down a tad (kinda difficult to do with a frame that's already built) and round the offending corner out a little, so that it's not so sharp.
So with your stem, forget the torque wrench - the correct torque is where the stem and bars don't slip. Instead, pull out a bit of emery paper and make sure there are no burrs that will cut into the bars. Also round the edges a little, again to ensure edges don't cut in. When you do the bolts up, do it progressively, so that you don't pinch the bars.
Regards,
Suzy (likes carbon seatposts and forks and stuff)