I am about to be unemployed and I'm in desparate need of a job. My qualifications are as follows:
I'm large. I'm bald. I can carry an umbrella and hold it over your head for hours at a time. Familiar with the California legal system. I work for peanuts. Always carry a supply of extra noses. I see nothing, hear nothing, speak nothing.
REASON FOR TERMINATION OF PREVIOUS EMPLOYMENT. Former boss will be...away...for the next 10 to 15 years.