Oncoming traffic

On Fri, 11 Jul 2003 13:11:23 +0100, "Simon Mason" <[email hidden]> wrote:

[SNIP]

Quoted message said:

BMW man was now heading straight into my path leaving me with about 1/2 a metre of road to my left
to bail out into. I now had the perfect opportunity to stick my bar end into the side of his car
which was now occupying nearly all my lane. I could have left him with an expensive paint job,
leaving me 100% blameless.

Unfortunately, this would have been too tricky and dangerous so I had to console myself with
shouting "how much road do you want" into Mrs 4 x 4's open window.

Simon

For goodness sake, how much room do you want? You surely, as an experienced trundler, should know
that you are merely a misiscule mote of mankyness and worth less than nothing, whereas BMW drivers
are the rulers of all they survey.

I suggest you use my new favourite word: "Twunt!"

James

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"Simon Mason" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]... snip

Quoted message said:

BMW man was now heading straight into my path leaving me with about

1/2 a

Quoted message said:

metre of road to my left to bail out into. I now had the perfect

opportunity

Quoted message said:

to stick my bar end into the side of his car which was now occupying

nearly

Quoted message said:

all my lane. I could have left him with an expensive paint job,

leaving me

Quoted message said:

100% blameless.

If the car is close enough for you to swipe off its driver-side mirror with a well-aimed blow from
your mighty right arm, it's too damn close.

"I didn't mean to hit your mirror, I was gesticulating for you to give me a safe amount of room. In
fact, I'm amazed they are that fragile, I would never have thought a quality car like that would be
so flimsy!"

--
Mark South: Citizen of the World, Denizen of the Net "I wonder why so many Finnish traditions are
related with booze?"
- Juha Sakkinen

"Mark South" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Simon Mason" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]... snip

Quoted message said:

BMW man was now heading straight into my path leaving me with about

1/2 a

Quoted message said:

metre of road to my left to bail out into. I now had the perfect

opportunity

Quoted message said:

to stick my bar end into the side of his car which was now occupying

nearly

Quoted message said:

all my lane. I could have left him with an expensive paint job,

leaving me

Quoted message said:

100% blameless.

If the car is close enough for you to swipe off its driver-side mirror with a well-aimed blow from
your mighty right arm, it's too damn close.

"I didn't mean to hit your mirror, I was gesticulating for you to give me a safe amount of room.
In fact, I'm amazed they are that fragile, I would never have thought a quality car like that
would be so flimsy!"

That would have been a hostile act (not that aiming his half tonne car directly at me wasn't
hostile as well) whereas scraping my bar end along his car would have been 100% his fault as he was
occupying 95% of my lane and could have had no complaints. Trouble was, there were too many
variables to get away with it.

--
Simon Mason Anlaby East Yorkshire. 53°44'N 0°26'W simonmason.karoo.netsimonmason.karoo.netOpen ↗

In article said:

Needless to say BMW man and Mrs 4x4 weren't going to wait the extra 10 seconds for the one bus
passenger to alight on the bus and they all overtook it in convoy. Just before they did, I moved
out slightly so I was now about a metre from the kerb.

It's a well known fact that BMW dealerships have a lobotomy clinic out the back, it's a requirement
that prior to driving one, the purchaser's brain is removed. Have you noticed too that indicators
are an optional extra on the more expensive models? Nick: to reply remove 'goaway'

Simon Mason said:

That would have been a hostile act (not that aiming his half tonne car directly at me wasn't
hostile as well) whereas scraping my bar end along his car would have been 100% his fault as he
was occupying 95% of my lane and could have had no complaints. Trouble was, there were too many
variables to get away with it.

You know how some motorcyclists have titanium studs on their knee pads so they can make preety
trails of sparks as they go round blind bends to fast?

I wonder if you could do a similiar thing with track mitts?
--
Andy Morris

AndyAtJinkasDotFreeserve.Co.UK

Love this: Put an end to Outlook Express's messy quotes
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In "]news:[email hidden], AndyMorris <[email hidden]> typed:

Quoted message said:

You know how some motorcyclists have titanium studs on their knee pads so they can make preety
trails of sparks as they go round blind bends to fast?

I wonder if you could do a similiar thing with track mitts?

I think you'd need prehensile length arms to drag track mitts on the road. ;-)

Tony

--
raven-family.comraven-family.comOpen ↗

"All truth goes through three steps: First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed.
Finally, it is accepted as self-evident." Arthur Schopenhauer

"Simon Mason" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]... <snip>

Quoted message said:

Unfortunately, this would have been too tricky and dangerous so I had to console myself with
shouting "how much road do you want" into Mrs 4 x 4's open window.

--
Simon Mason Anlaby East Yorkshire. 53°44'N 0°26'W simonmason.karoo.netsimonmason.karoo.netOpen ↗

Bet she was suprised to find out that she was actually on a road!!...the advertising glossy only
showed pictures of it up mountains, in forests, crossing rivers.....ah, in the simple mind.... Dave.

Dave said:

Bet she was suprised to find out that she was actually on a road!!...the advertising glossy only
showed pictures of it up mountains, in forests, crossing rivers.....ah, in the simple mind....

Dave

I have ... erm ... four words to say to you: Industrial Light and Magic.

Next thing you know you'll be telling me it's possible for people to pedal their bicycles all the
way up to skiing resorts without the tyres popping.

James

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"James Hodson" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Dave said:

Bet she was suprised to find out that she was actually on a

road!!...the

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

advertising glossy only showed pictures of it up mountains, in

forests,

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

crossing rivers.....ah, in the simple mind....

I have ... erm ... four words to say to you: Industrial Light and Magic.

"It's a squirrel-squashin' deer-smackin' drivin' machine. Canyonero, Canyoneeeroooooooooo...."

Quoted message said:

Next thing you know you'll be telling me it's possible for people to pedal their bicycles all the
way up to skiing resorts without the tyres popping.

Although it may burst a blood vessel or two.

BTW, that means you should have included TdF SPOILER in the subject line
:-)

--
Mark South: Citizen of the World, Denizen of the Net "I wonder why so many Finnish traditions are
related with booze?"
- Juha Sakkinen

On Sun, 13 Jul 2003 18:45:25 +0100, "Mark South" <[email hidden]> wrote:

[SNIP]

Too little information.

==================================

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero! [Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports, Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams, She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking,
driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!

==================================

James

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"James Hodson" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

On Sun, 13 Jul 2003 18:45:25 +0100, "Mark South" <[email hidden]> wrote:

[SNIP]

Too little information.

I clearly don't pay enough attention to The Simpsons....

Quoted message said:

==================================

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero! [Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports, Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams, She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving
machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!

Oh dear lord that's wonderful, thank you for recalling it for us.

I have this sudden urge to buy a Hummer.

--
Mark South: Citizen of the World, Denizen of the Net "I wonder why so many Finnish traditions are
related with booze?"
- Juha Sakkinen

AndyMorris said:

You know how some motorcyclists have titanium studs on their knee pads so they can make preety
trails of sparks as they go round blind bends to fast?

I wonder if you could do a similiar thing with track mitts?

Short answer: Yes.

Longer answer: I knew a bloke called Andy Harrington many years ago, who had a pair of leather track
mitts. The backs of these were liberally decorated[1] with pyramidal metal studs of the sort that a
Certain Sort of Punk or Heavy Metal Type might use to embellish the appearance of leather jackets,
wristbands, belts etc. This was a man who complained about the lack of an ashtray on a Trice, so his
demeanour can probably be guessed at.

1 - as well as the word "Hawkwind", in neat embroidery

Dave Larrington - legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uklegslarry.beerdrinkers.co.ukOpen ↗
===========================================================
Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
bhpc.org.ukbhpc.org.ukOpen ↗
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Tony Raven said:

I think you'd need prehensile length arms to drag track mitts on the road. ;-)

Nonsense, man! legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.ukMiltonKeynes01.jpgOpen ↗

Dave Larrington - legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uklegslarry.beerdrinkers.co.ukOpen ↗
===========================================================
Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
bhpc.org.ukbhpc.org.ukOpen ↗
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poseur.4x4.orgfuturesuv.htmlOpen ↗ So far it's only Chris Eubank who does this...

Dave Larrington - legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uklegslarry.beerdrinkers.co.ukOpen ↗
===========================================================
Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
bhpc.org.ukbhpc.org.ukOpen ↗
===========================================================

Tony Raven said:

In "]news:[email hidden], AndyMorris <[email hidden]> typed:

Quoted message said:

You know how some motorcyclists have titanium studs on their knee pads so they can make preety
trails of sparks as they go round blind bends to fast?

I wonder if you could do a similiar thing with track mitts?

I think you'd need prehensile length arms to drag track mitts on the road. ;-)

But wouldn't they make a loverly pattern of a nice new BMW?

--
Andy Morris

AndyAtJinkasDotFreeserve.Co.UK

Love this: Put an end to Outlook Express's messy quotes
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Mark South said:

I clearly don't pay enough attention to The Simpsons....

It's scary what I come across in my \My Documents\Text Documents directory every now and again.

I understand that someone's Mastermind Specialist Subject was/will be The Simpsons. Who said the
programme was being dumbed down?

James

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Mark South said:

I clearly don't pay enough attention to The Simpsons....

Mark

I've just come across <http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dreamworld/7327/sound.html>

Canyonero is the first song on the list.
<http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dreamworld/7327/canyonero.wav>

James

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