Saffire said:In article <[email hidden]>,
[email hidden] says...Quoted message said:JC Der Koenig said:The first thing is to lose the excuses.
Yes, it is interesting to note the number of people who immediately
follow any admission of weight gain or existing high weight with a
series of excuses. My canary died, my bus was late, my cat threw up a
furball. The excuses range from sad (if genuine) to totally ridiculous.
Normal weight people have just as much stress, drama, and trauma in
their lives, so it can't be the reason for the weight gain.People in diet support groups are usually there for support in losing
weight. Generally, part of group support is to "tell your story". I
don't see listing the various factors that affect how a person eats or
how their body handles things based on whatever condition it is in as
excuses, just part of the overall picture.
Saffire, support, true support, is for the purpose of assisting the
person to lose weight, not make them feel better about their weaknesses.
Very few of the problems here are to do with the mechanics of weight
loss. That is easy to understand, use more energy than you consume.
The problem is with the myriad of ways that these people use to avoid
facing facts, primarily the fact that their problem is a lack of
willpower, an inability to stop indulging themselves. They indulge
themselves with food, and then they indulge themselves by explaining
away that food indulgence as being something beyond their control, by
using excuses to attempt to shift the blame or responsibility away from
themselves.
True support will show them that until they fully accept responsibility,
until they discard all excuses and admit that the only problem they have
is a weak will, a lack of character, no moral fibre, they will never
solve their problem. The only people that they can control is
themselves, and until thay admit that the problem lies with them alone,
then THEY WILL NOT HAVE A SOLUTION AVAILABLE TO THEM.
True support, genuine support, will ignore excuses and attempt to make
them face truth, that they are being weak. True support will help them
in a genuine attempt to strengthen their resolve, their willpower. True
support is NOT pc, it is not being nice, it is NOT love and light, it is
harsh and unforgiving. They can go elsewhere for their feel-good
moments, but if they want to lose weight, get fitter and healthier,
improve their lives, then they have to look into the mirror without
flinching and turning away. They have to recognize the person in the
mirror, to accept that the person in the mirror is the one causing all
of their problems, then FIGHT that person in the mirror, and win. Every
time that they use an excuse, they are throwing in the towel. Every time
someone supports them in accepting that excuse, they are damaging them,
prolonging their ordeal, or in many cases, making it inevitable that
they will always fail. Most of the support on here is positively
negative, to play on words.
JC is the most consistent provider of genuine support on here, although
he could certainly do with expanding his act. The purpose of this group
is to support weight loss, not to support fat people. Recognise the
difference. Go to one of the fat acceptance groups, or some other
touchy-feely, "sweetness and light" group, come back when you want
support TO LOSE WEIGHT.
We all know how we got fat
Quoted message said:and how we react to various stresses in our life or how long-term
apathy plays a part. Sharing our stories is akin to confession :-) It
wipes the slate clean
It does nothing of the sort - it provides the beginning to an easy way
out, it opens the door to failure.
AND makes a person actually THINK about the
Quoted message said:contributing factors and how he/she might handle them from here on out.
How can they think about those factors when they have support in hiding
from them, pretending that things beyond their control are to blame?
Quoted message said:You can't change behavior unless you are AWARE of it, after all.
Exactly. They have to become aware of the fact that they and they alone
are to blame, and that they, and they alone, can put it right.
The
Quoted message said:crucial point to focus on is that we are doing something about it NOW.
Not as long as excuses are allowed to go unchallenged.
Bill