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Riders Phrasebook

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01 / Original postRiders PhrasebookDave A · 12 Apr 2005 02 / This pagePosts 1–15Page 1 of 1 · chronological order 03 / Latest replyPost #15DaveB · 13 Apr 2005

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Original section
Australia and New Zealand
Published
12 April 2005
Last activity
13 April 2005
Original author
Dave A
Posts
15
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Public discussion
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750
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  1. Original post
    Dave A
    Archived post
    #1

    These "phrases" seem very familiar, I'm sure I've heard some of
    these from the "BR" crowd.(Americanisms aside).

    Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret
    trainers around. They'll say anything to soften you
    up for the kill. Don't let this happen to you. Study
    this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they
    really mean when they say:

    "I'm out of shape"
    Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't
    missed a day since the Ford administration. I replace
    my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts.
    My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage
    rate.

    "I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in
    shape" ---
    Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the
    gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the line
    sprint if I have to force you into oncoming traffic. I
    will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat
    post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.

    "I'm on my beater bike"
    Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany
    using titanium blessed by the Pope. I took it to a
    wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a
    fart and costs more than a divorce.

    "It's not that hilly"
    Translation: This climb lasts longer than a
    presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep
    sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You have
    a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

    "This is a no-drop ride"
    Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for
    the search-and-rescue dogs.

    "It's not that far"
    Translation: Bring your passport

    Report
  2. suzyj
    Archived post
    #2

    Here's one I picked up at Bright this year, after 130km, and just before hitting Mt. Buffalo:

    "It's all down hill from here"

    Regards,

    Suzy

    Report
  3. GPLama
    Archived post
    #3
    Dave A said:

    These "phrases" seem very familiar, I'm sure I've heard some of
    these from the "BR" crowd.(Americanisms aside).

    all true.. and mine..

    "I'm taking it easy, I'll hang at the back"
    Translation: While this statement may hold true for the next 2 mins,
    I'll soon get bored and chase anything* that moves off the front.

    * for values of 'anything' that do not equal Ess/Jazmo/etc on any accent. 🙂

    cheers,
    GPL

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  4. DaveB
    Archived post
    #4
    GPLama said:
    Dave A said:

    These "phrases" seem very familiar, I'm sure I've heard some of
    these from the "BR" crowd.(Americanisms aside).

    all true.. and mine..

    "I'm taking it easy, I'll hang at the back"
    Translation: While this statement may hold true for the next 2 mins,
    I'll soon get bored and chase anything* that moves off the front.

    * for values of 'anything' that do not equal Ess/Jazmo/etc on any
    accent. 🙂

    cheers,
    GPL

    in response to the statement "we are all going to stay together into
    Warrandyte", the response "Yes" actually means "Yes I hear you but have
    a short term memory problem and will most likely bolt in the next 30
    seconds" 😉

    DaveB

    Report
  5. PiledHigher
    Archived post
    #5

    "I came 5th in the bunch sprint"

    ie. I was still with the bunch at the end of the race and I didn't have the legs to win it, fortunately there is no video and no one will really know.

    Report
  6. flyingdutch
    Archived post
    #6
    PiledHigher said:

    "I came 5th in the bunch sprint"

    ie. I was still with the bunch at the end of the race and I didn't have the legs to win it, fortunately there is no video and no one will really know.

    bwahahahah. er, no it REALLY was 5th

    My contribution...

    "I (think) i have Cgrade legs and an Egrade-brain" 😄

    "I'll be home by 11am, honest honey"

    "Not feeling too strong today. You better go to the front"
    (wheelsucka strikes)

    "have you seen the latest (insert bikporn here)? If only i had that I could break 12min on BR with one of those!"

    "Meet at (insert ridestart location here). Leaving (time)am sharp!"

    "Oh, didnt i mention that was a designated sprint point back there?"

    "30kph average"

    "Can you hear that squeaking noise coming from your bike?"

    Report
  7. HUMBUG
    Archived post
    #7
    suzyj said:


    Here's one I picked up at Bright this year, after 130km, and just
    before hitting Mt. Buffalo:

    "It's all down hill from here"

    People say the strangest things on Audax rides. Just, and I mean
    _just_, over a km into a 1200 someone said "only another 1199 of those
    to go".

    --
    Humbug

    Report
  8. SteveA
    Archived post
    #8
    flyingdutch said:

    "Can you hear that squeaking noise coming from your bike?"


    And the rest of that quote is "....An old bike of mine made that noise just before the forks collapsed/frame broke/chain stays broke/bottom bracket siezed right up. Would have been alright except it happened at 30kph and I got thrown and slid down the road for a hundred metres".

    SteveA

    Report
  9. flyingdutch
    Archived post
    #9
    SteveA said:

    And the rest of that quote is "....An old bike of mine made that noise just before the forks collapsed/frame broke/chain stays broke/bottom bracket siezed right up. Would have been alright except it happened at 30kph and I got thrown and slid down the road for a hundred metres".

    SteveA

    noice. but what's an 'old bike' ???
    arent by a.b. law meant to upgrade every 275 days?

    F"chasin?"Dutch

    Report
  10. Bikesoiler
    Archived post
    #10
    suzyj said:

    Here's one I picked up at Bright this year, after 130km, and just before hitting Mt. Buffalo:

    "It's all down hill from here"

    Regards,

    Suzy

    Isn't that in reference to your energy levels &/or motivation?

    Report
  11. SteveA
    Archived post
    #11
    flyingdutch said:

    noice. but what's an 'old bike' ???
    arent by a.b. law meant to upgrade every 275 days?

    F"chasin?"Dutch


    By 'upgrade' do you mean 'buy another bike that is better than the last one which I am keeping anyway'

    Or do you mean trade in the old one and get a better one?

    By 'old bike' I just meant not the one I am currently on. The old bike could therefore be less than the 275 day statutory limit 🙂

    Steve(darling, this bike is making strange creaking noises. I need to buy a new one)A

    Report
  12. DJ
    Archived post
    #12
    Quoted message said:

    Dave A wrote:

    "I'm on my beater bike"

    Quoted message said:

    Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany
    using titanium blessed by the Pope. >


    Ahh that's what happened to him........Titanium poisoning

    or did he get his robe caught in the derailers

    (ring ring...er hello..Ray Martin.?? .listen mate...gotta scoop for ya)!!

    DJ

    Report
  13. aeek
    Archived post
    #13
    SteveA said:

    By 'upgrade' do you mean 'buy another bike that is better than the last one which I am keeping anyway'

    Or do you mean trade in the old one and get a better one?

    My main bike has had everything replaced except frame, cranks, stem, brakelevers and frontbrake.
    [censored], it might have the original BB - is 16 years within reason?
    Approaching the grandfathers axe.

    Report
  14. Tamyka Bell
    Archived post
    #14
    HUMBUG said:


    suzyj said:


    Here's one I picked up at Bright this year, after 130km, and just
    before hitting Mt. Buffalo:

    "It's all down hill from here"

    People say the strangest things on Audax rides. Just, and I mean
    _just_, over a km into a 1200 someone said "only another 1199 of those
    to go".

    --
    Humbug

    At the kids try-athlon, supporters were calling out "almost there" to
    kids just heading out of transition on the run leg. They're not almost
    there, they're just starting! And they know it.

    Tam

    Report
  15. DaveB
    Archived post
    #15
    Tamyka Bell said:


    At the kids try-athlon, supporters were calling out "almost there" to
    kids just heading out of transition on the run leg. They're not almost
    there, they're just starting! And they know it.

    Tam

    I had some of the officials at an Olympic Dist triathlon call out almost
    there as I exited T1. My response to that was yeah only 50km left.

    DaveB

    Report

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