MagillaGorilla

Neither your thread, or "Magilla Gorilla", have anything to do with bicycle
racing.

This NG is about bicycle racing, either talk about bike racing in this NG,
or be silent.

"Carmella the Roach Killer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Modesto, California - 29-November-2004

A spokesperson for Magilla Gorilla announced today that Magilla Gorilla
would be becoming openly gay really soon in order not to miss out on the
latest cool new craze of being openly gay. "Magilla will become openly

gay

Quoted message said:

probably early next week," the spokesperson announced.

Despite the announcement however, the spokesperson was quick to deny that
Magilla was only becoming openly gay in order to capture the rapidly

growing

Quoted message said:

demographic of people who are not only openly gay, but are also ACTUALLY
gay -- you know, like, FOR REAL.

The spokesperson also denied that becoming openly gay was part of a

cynical

Quoted message said:

ploy to avoid being replaced by Keanu Reeves for the next 6 months until
Lucy Liu gets back from shooting on location in Africa and takes over the
presidency permanently.

"Magilla Gorilla is becoming openly gay," said the spokesperson, "because

it

Quoted message said:

is the right thing to do. It is the right thing to do for our country and
the right thing to do for our freedom... And for our democracy.... And for
our constitution."

However several openly gay UCI cyclocross pros protested Magilla becoming
openly gay, saying it was just a political stunt, and that if he went

ahead

Quoted message said:

with becoming bogusly openly gay then it would make all other currently
REALLY openly gay heterosexuals look like a buncha douchebags and

therefore

Quoted message said:

they would all immediately and totally STOP being openly gay, though they
weren't sure yet whether that meant they would have to stop being just
openly or stop being just gay or actually stop being both at the same

time.

Quoted message said:

However, the fifth openly gay Supreme Court justice, Rehnquist, has
intervened saying if the UCI openly gay cyclocross stars stop being openly
gay he will sentence them all immediately to the electric chair for

failure

Quoted message said:

to come to a complete stop at a stop sign partially covered over by a

tree.

Quoted message said:

Magilla's spokesperson said that as soon as Magilla finished becoming

openly

Quoted message said:

gay and before being removed from office to make way for Keanu Reeves or
Lucy Liu, he would, of course, appoint his mother Secretary of State and
Bette Middler head of the FBI. He also said he'd appoint the Village

People

Quoted message said:

to be Secretary of, you know, the Interior.

"It's the least an openly gay American fudge packer can do to honor our
great openly gay American heritage," the spokesman said Magilla said.

Please accept my apology and request to hereby unring the bell.

"xzzy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:5Yxqd.171285$R05.71864@attbi_s53...

Quoted message said:

Neither your thread, or "Magilla Gorilla", have anything to do with
bicycle
racing.

This NG is about bicycle racing, either talk about bike racing in this NG,
or be silent.

"Carmella the Roach Killer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Modesto, California - 29-November-2004

A spokesperson for Magilla Gorilla announced today that Magilla Gorilla
would be becoming openly gay really soon in order not to miss out on the
latest cool new craze of being openly gay. "Magilla will become openly

gay

Quoted message said:

probably early next week," the spokesperson announced.

Despite the announcement however, the spokesperson was quick to deny that
Magilla was only becoming openly gay in order to capture the rapidly

growing

Quoted message said:

demographic of people who are not only openly gay, but are also ACTUALLY
gay -- you know, like, FOR REAL.

The spokesperson also denied that becoming openly gay was part of a

cynical

Quoted message said:

ploy to avoid being replaced by Keanu Reeves for the next 6 months until
Lucy Liu gets back from shooting on location in Africa and takes over the
presidency permanently.

"Magilla Gorilla is becoming openly gay," said the spokesperson, "because

it

Quoted message said:

is the right thing to do. It is the right thing to do for our country
and
the right thing to do for our freedom... And for our democracy.... And
for
our constitution."

However several openly gay UCI cyclocross pros protested Magilla becoming
openly gay, saying it was just a political stunt, and that if he went

ahead

Quoted message said:

with becoming bogusly openly gay then it would make all other currently
REALLY openly gay heterosexuals look like a buncha douchebags and

therefore

Quoted message said:

they would all immediately and totally STOP being openly gay, though they
weren't sure yet whether that meant they would have to stop being just
openly or stop being just gay or actually stop being both at the same

time.

Quoted message said:

However, the fifth openly gay Supreme Court justice, Rehnquist, has
intervened saying if the UCI openly gay cyclocross stars stop being
openly
gay he will sentence them all immediately to the electric chair for

failure

Quoted message said:

to come to a complete stop at a stop sign partially covered over by a

tree.

Quoted message said:

Magilla's spokesperson said that as soon as Magilla finished becoming

openly

Quoted message said:

gay and before being removed from office to make way for Keanu Reeves or
Lucy Liu, he would, of course, appoint his mother Secretary of State and
Bette Middler head of the FBI. He also said he'd appoint the Village

People

Quoted message said:

to be Secretary of, you know, the Interior.

"It's the least an openly gay American fudge packer can do to honor our
great openly gay American heritage," the spokesman said Magilla said.

In article <[email hidden]>, "Carmella the Roach Killer"

Quoted message said:

Modesto, California - 29-November-2004

A spokesperson for Magilla Gorilla announced today that Magilla Gorilla
would be becoming openly gay really soon in order not to miss out on the
latest cool new craze of being openly gay. "Magilla will become openly gay
probably early next week," the spokesperson announced.

Only the onion does this type of writing well.

Carmella the Roach Killer said:

Modesto, California - 29-November-2004

A spokesperson for Magilla Gorilla announced today that Magilla Gorilla
would be becoming openly gay really soon in order not to miss out on the
latest cool new craze of being openly gay. "Magilla will become openly gay
probably early next week," the spokesperson announced.

Despite the announcement however, the spokesperson was quick to deny that
Magilla was only becoming openly gay in order to capture the rapidly growing
demographic of people who are not only openly gay, but are also ACTUALLY
gay -- you know, like, FOR REAL.

The spokesperson also denied that becoming openly gay was part of a cynical
ploy to avoid being replaced by Keanu Reeves for the next 6 months until
Lucy Liu gets back from shooting on location in Africa and takes over the
presidency permanently.

"Magilla Gorilla is becoming openly gay," said the spokesperson, "because it
is the right thing to do. It is the right thing to do for our country and
the right thing to do for our freedom... And for our democracy.... And for
our constitution."

However several openly gay UCI cyclocross pros protested Magilla becoming
openly gay, saying it was just a political stunt, and that if he went ahead
with becoming bogusly openly gay then it would make all other currently
REALLY openly gay heterosexuals look like a buncha douchebags and therefore
they would all immediately and totally STOP being openly gay, though they
weren't sure yet whether that meant they would have to stop being just
openly or stop being just gay or actually stop being both at the same time.

However, the fifth openly gay Supreme Court justice, Rehnquist, has
intervened saying if the UCI openly gay cyclocross stars stop being openly
gay he will sentence them all immediately to the electric chair for failure
to come to a complete stop at a stop sign partially covered over by a tree.

Magilla's spokesperson said that as soon as Magilla finished becoming openly
gay and before being removed from office to make way for Keanu Reeves or
Lucy Liu, he would, of course, appoint his mother Secretary of State and
Bette Middler head of the FBI. He also said he'd appoint the Village People
to be Secretary of, you know, the Interior.

"It's the least an openly gay American fudge packer can do to honor our
great openly gay American heritage," the spokesman said Magilla said.

im glad somebody finally broke this story, ive been saying he was gay for months