Psychological stall

Drink less and meet more guys.

Luna wrote:
|| Warning: possibly incoherent rant
||
|| Maybe I've been hovering around the same weight for so long because
|| deep down, I really don't want to lose any more. Forgive me if this
|| rant goes on too long or makes no sense, I've just come home from a
|| birthday celebration and I am a bit inebriated.
||
|| Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a
|| size 18-20, I've gotten a lot more male attention. In some ways
|| it's great. Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything
|| around tells me it should be great, I should be enjoying the
|| attention, I should be happy that I'm seen as more attractive.
||
|| But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it.
|| Maybe there's something fundamentally wrong with me, but I am more
|| interested in an exchange of ideas than an exchange of bodily
|| fluids. Why, for example, why is this one particular guy interested
|| in spending time with me when we have absolutely nothing in common?
|| He tells me I'm attractive and sexy, but so what? So are lots of
|| women, women who might actually be interested in jazz or hiking or
|| going to church, but I'm not that woman. And this other guy, I enjoy
|| talking to him, we have great conversations, but then he brings up
|| these little jokey comments about how I won't date him, and I feel
|| uncomfortable, even though I know he's just joking around.
||
|| I feel . . . I feel like I'm 10 years old again, and I just want to
|| hang out and have fun and play board games or watch tv, without all
|| this sex stuff making everything so complicated. If a guy mentions
|| a movie or a book that I also enjoyed, I can get really excited
|| about talking to him, but if he says something about my physical
|| level of attractiveness, I squirm and get uncomfortable and I feel
|| like the whole conversation was ruined. I end up thinking "Hey, I'm
|| still 20 or 30 pounds overweight, why are you thinking of me that
|| way?"
||
|| Sometimes I wish I could just stay at home and read all the time and
|| just not deal with people any more.
||
|| --
|| Michelle Levin
|| http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick
||
|| I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3
|| flaws.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a size

18-20,<<

Congrats on the hard work and the weight loss.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I've gotten a lot more male attention<<

Not always a good thing. I know many years ago when I was a size 6 (ack), I
couldn't walk the streets without getting yelled at. It was very uncomfortable.
I don't have an answer for you (obviously), just go with your heart. If you
want to play board games and act young again, do it, you don't need male
company!

Luna said:

Warning: possibly incoherent rant

Maybe I've been hovering around the same weight for so long because deep
down, I really don't want to lose any more. Forgive me if this rant goes
on too long or makes no sense, I've just come home from a birthday
celebration and I am a bit inebriated.

Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a size
18-20, I've gotten a lot more male attention. In some ways it's great.
Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything around tells me it
should be great, I should be enjoying the attention, I should be happy that
I'm seen as more attractive.

But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it. Maybe
there's something fundamentally wrong with me, but I am more interested in
an exchange of ideas than an exchange of bodily fluids.

That is pretty much the way most reasonable people think.

If you don't know someone, you can't know if you like them. If you don't
know whether you like them, you sure as hell won't know whether you are
likely to love them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to
at least have a potential for a love relationship before committing to a
sexual relationship.

Why, for example,

Quoted message said:

why is this one particular guy interested in spending time with me when we
have absolutely nothing in common?

Having things in common isn't a requirement for attraction, but it
certainly helps when actually involved in a relationship.

He tells me I'm attractive and sexy,

Quoted message said:

but so what? So are lots of women, women who might actually be interested
in jazz or hiking or going to church, but I'm not that woman.

Not interested in jazz? Sacrilege! <g>

The guy is attracted to you, that's great. You don't reciprocate, that's
normal, or at least a part of normal. There will possibly be lots more
before you feel the same way. Don't worry about it.

And this

Quoted message said:

other guy, I enjoy talking to him, we have great conversations, but then he
brings up these little jokey comments about how I won't date him, and I
feel uncomfortable, even though I know he's just joking around.

He is probably more than just joking around, he is perhaps testing the
water. It doesn't matter, you are the one in control. Enjoy the
attention, don't allow yourself to be pressured.

Quoted message said:

I feel . . . I feel like I'm 10 years old again, and I just want to hang
out and have fun and play board games or watch tv, without all this sex
stuff making everything so complicated.

Then don't let it. You set the rules for any guy interested in you.

If a guy mentions a movie or a

Quoted message said:

book that I also enjoyed, I can get really excited about talking to him,
but if he says something about my physical level of attractiveness, I
squirm and get uncomfortable and I feel like the whole conversation was
ruined.

You will have to learn to accept compliments graciously, without
"squirming" or feeling uncomfortable. Would you rather have an
interesting conversation with someone who considered you unattractive? I
wouldn't.

I end up thinking "Hey, I'm still 20 or 30 pounds overweight, why

Quoted message said:

are you thinking of me that way?"

Sometimes I wish I could just stay at home and read all the time and just
not deal with people any more.

You are not perfect. Guess what, you never will be perfect. None of us
are. You are becoming more physically attractive and some guys are
responding. If you feel that you need to be at a more "perfect" weight
before feeling comfortable with attention, then you wait for that time.

Or is the problem that in an "intimate" relationship, there are no
secrets, body-image wise, and you aren't ready? It doesn't matter, you
are in control. Relax and let life happen. Don't do anything you don't
want to do, the guys who are really interested in *you*, will still be
there when you are ready. If they aren't, other guys will be. I've
looked at your photos, and I've read your posts; you won't have a
problem finding guys, though it might take time (as it does for
everyone) to find the right guy for you.

Regards

David

--

To email me, please include the letters DNF anywhere in the subject line.

All other mail is automatically deleted.

Interesting post and interesting points!! If you don't mind me
quoting Naomi Wolf, I think she once mentioned in "The Beauty Myth"
that some women limit their food to get extremely thin, so much so
that the female characteristics on their bodies disappear. May be
they don't like the kind of attention you described, may be they feel
uncomfortable with that people making connections on the basis of sex
and hardly anything else, or may be they work / study in a highly male
environment and wish to "look" like everybody else.

Another way of achieving an asexual looking body is to put on weight.
So I think I can see lots of sense in what you wrote. One thing
though - you shouldn't think that you shouldn't get any male attention
because you're *STILL* 20 or 30 pounds overweight. First you're an
attractive woman, then there are men who go after all skirts.
Obviously I think the first issue weights heavier than the second (as
do most asdlc-ers would think).

;-)

Luna <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:<[email hidden]>...

Quoted message said:

Warning: possibly incoherent rant

Maybe I've been hovering around the same weight for so long because deep
down, I really don't want to lose any more. Forgive me if this rant goes
on too long or makes no sense, I've just come home from a birthday
celebration and I am a bit inebriated.

Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a size
18-20, I've gotten a lot more male attention. In some ways it's great.
Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything around tells me it
should be great, I should be enjoying the attention, I should be happy that
I'm seen as more attractive.

But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it. Maybe
there's something fundamentally wrong with me, but I am more interested in
an exchange of ideas than an exchange of bodily fluids. Why, for example,
why is this one particular guy interested in spending time with me when we
have absolutely nothing in common? He tells me I'm attractive and sexy,
but so what? So are lots of women, women who might actually be interested
in jazz or hiking or going to church, but I'm not that woman. And this
other guy, I enjoy talking to him, we have great conversations, but then he
brings up these little jokey comments about how I won't date him, and I
feel uncomfortable, even though I know he's just joking around.

I feel . . . I feel like I'm 10 years old again, and I just want to hang
out and have fun and play board games or watch tv, without all this sex
stuff making everything so complicated. If a guy mentions a movie or a
book that I also enjoyed, I can get really excited about talking to him,
but if he says something about my physical level of attractiveness, I
squirm and get uncomfortable and I feel like the whole conversation was
ruined. I end up thinking "Hey, I'm still 20 or 30 pounds overweight, why
are you thinking of me that way?"

Sometimes I wish I could just stay at home and read all the time and just
not deal with people any more.

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything around tells me it
should be great, I should be enjoying the attention, I should be happy

that

Quoted message said:

I'm seen as more attractive.

But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it.

Luna, there is nothing wrong with you at all, in fact the fact that these
things make you a bit uncomfortable shows that you are a person sensitive to
others as well as yourself, IMO.

It IS difficult for a woman to make a rather abrupt change from being
overweight to thin. Overweight women are overlooked so often.... the
invisibility syndrome... that suddenly becoming "visible" and interesting to
so many more men can be unsettling in a number of ways. I always found it a
little offensive that the same person wouldn't even talk to me at one point
and then 40 pounds later would be a pest. It makes you feel a bit
dehumanized. But then you also have to get used to dealing with so much more
attention, which is what you're doing. I'd just take it slow and let
yourself grow emotionally into the new place your lower weight places you.

I've seen friends in the same position go nuts and really cause themselves
some harm. One Married mom I knew went on a 1200 calorie diet and quickly
went from dumpy to slim, and was so overcome by her new ability to look good
in very tight jeans that she decided she "could get" any guy she set her
mind on. She couldn't, as she really was not at all pretty, unfortunately,
but she did find a lot of guys receptive to one night stands and she became
quite promiscuous. This broke up her marriage of course, which was terribly
hard on her children (suicide attempts, psychiatric hospitalization,
illegitimate baby etc.) and the last time I saw her she had become an
alcoholic. Not to say losing weight was a bad thing, but that she
misunderstood the consequences of the changes she'd undergone, and ended up
taking a lot of premature actions that hurt her psychologically, as well as
her husband and children.

So.... time will allow you to adjust, Luna, and you sound like you are much
more sensible than my former friend. Give yourself the space to sit back and
think about what's happening without feeling guilty that you are somehow
missing out on anything or hurting people's feelings. I think you'll be
fine, more than fine.

HG

Print this post out, take it with you, hand it out appropriately.

The only problem I see that you have is that you can type what you want to
say but can't say it.

Mu

=======================================================================

Luna said:

Warning: possibly incoherent rant

Maybe I've been hovering around the same weight for so long because deep
down, I really don't want to lose any more. Forgive me if this rant goes
on too long or makes no sense, I've just come home from a birthday
celebration and I am a bit inebriated.

Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a size
18-20, I've gotten a lot more male attention. In some ways it's great.
Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything around tells me it
should be great, I should be enjoying the attention, I should be happy that
I'm seen as more attractive.

But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it. Maybe
there's something fundamentally wrong with me, but I am more interested in
an exchange of ideas than an exchange of bodily fluids. Why, for example,
why is this one particular guy interested in spending time with me when we
have absolutely nothing in common? He tells me I'm attractive and sexy,
but so what? So are lots of women, women who might actually be interested
in jazz or hiking or going to church, but I'm not that woman. And this
other guy, I enjoy talking to him, we have great conversations, but then he
brings up these little jokey comments about how I won't date him, and I
feel uncomfortable, even though I know he's just joking around.

I feel . . . I feel like I'm 10 years old again, and I just want to hang
out and have fun and play board games or watch tv, without all this sex
stuff making everything so complicated. If a guy mentions a movie or a
book that I also enjoyed, I can get really excited about talking to him,
but if he says something about my physical level of attractiveness, I
squirm and get uncomfortable and I feel like the whole conversation was
ruined. I end up thinking "Hey, I'm still 20 or 30 pounds overweight, why
are you thinking of me that way?"

Sometimes I wish I could just stay at home and read all the time and just
not deal with people any more.

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Warning: possibly incoherent rant

Maybe I've been hovering around the same weight for so long because deep
down, I really don't want to lose any more. Forgive me if this rant goes
on too long or makes no sense, I've just come home from a birthday
celebration and I am a bit inebriated.

Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a size
18-20, I've gotten a lot more male attention. In some ways it's great.
Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything around tells me it
should be great, I should be enjoying the attention, I should be happy
that
I'm seen as more attractive.

But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it. Maybe
there's something fundamentally wrong with me, but I am more interested in
an exchange of ideas than an exchange of bodily fluids. Why, for example,
why is this one particular guy interested in spending time with me when we
have absolutely nothing in common? He tells me I'm attractive and sexy,
but so what? So are lots of women, women who might actually be interested
in jazz or hiking or going to church, but I'm not that woman. And this
other guy, I enjoy talking to him, we have great conversations, but then
he
brings up these little jokey comments about how I won't date him, and I
feel uncomfortable, even though I know he's just joking around.

I feel . . . I feel like I'm 10 years old again, and I just want to hang
out and have fun and play board games or watch tv, without all this sex
stuff making everything so complicated. If a guy mentions a movie or a
book that I also enjoyed, I can get really excited about talking to him,
but if he says something about my physical level of attractiveness, I
squirm and get uncomfortable and I feel like the whole conversation was
ruined. I end up thinking "Hey, I'm still 20 or 30 pounds overweight, why
are you thinking of me that way?"

Sometimes I wish I could just stay at home and read all the time and just
not deal with people any more.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

I experienced this many times during yoyo dieting. for me it was like "where
were you when I was fat but still the same personalilty??? "

Even tho I am happily and blissfully married, I get a lot more attention
from guys even with the rock on the finger and I still get uncomfortable
with it. of course, I am still 20 lbs overweight for my height and age but I
hit that wall too. esp. after Curt was diagnosed with cancer, it was like, I
shouldn't get smaller and possibly more attractive to other men when My
husband is getting sicker and dying. It seemed disloyal, so I eased back and
enjoy more. I am ok right here. I just want to stay there.

--
Lori
220/155/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller

Quoted message said:

Luna [email hidden]

Quoted message said:

Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a size
18-20, I've gotten a lot more male attention. In some ways it's great.
Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything around tells me it
should be great, I should be enjoying the attention, I should be happy that
I'm seen as more attractive.

But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it. Maybe
there's something fundamentally wrong with me, but I am more interested in
an exchange of ideas than an exchange of bodily fluids. Why, for example,
why is this one particular guy interested in spending time with me when we
have absolutely nothing in common? He tells me I'm attractive and sexy,
but so what? So are lots of women, women who might actually be interested
in jazz or hiking or going to church, but I'm not that woman. And this
other guy, I enjoy talking to him, we have great conversations, but then he
brings up these little jokey comments about how I won't date him, and I
feel uncomfortable, even though I know he's just joking around.

This . . . is just the way the world works. Why did you lose weight? For
yourself, or to get attention from men? I have the impression it was for
yourself, so the male attention should be a secondary issue. Be proud of what
you've done for your own purposes, and figure that a certain portion of the
male population is made up of jerks (same applies to women, of course). The
jerks are more likely to make awkward advances. That's what you're
encountering.

Quoted message said:

I feel . . . I feel like I'm 10 years old again, and I just want to hang
out and have fun and play board games or watch tv, without all this sex
stuff making everything so complicated. If a guy mentions a movie or a
book that I also enjoyed, I can get really excited about talking to him,
but if he says something about my physical level of attractiveness, I
squirm and get uncomfortable and I feel like the whole conversation was
ruined. I end up thinking "Hey, I'm still 20 or 30 pounds overweight, why
are you thinking of me that way?"

What? He's not allowed to consider you attractive until you hit goal? That's
[censored]. You are more attractive now. Men are noticing. So are women, but
they're not trying to hit on you. You're presumably doing this for your own
reasons, for yourself, so this is all secondary. Annoying, yes, but secondary.
And a guy can have a brain, share your values, and lust for you at the same
time. Some of us actually want that in a man.

Quoted message said:

Sometimes I wish I could just stay at home and read all the time and just
not deal with people any more.

Then stay home and read when you can. It sounds like you're overwhelmed by the
changes you've gone through and the responses you're getting as a result. So
if you need to hunker down and withdraw while you become accustomed to those
changes, do so.

It's not that I'm not sympathetic, but I don't think you're being very
realistic here.

Daria
166/under 145/under 145
sugar-free since 2/1/04
low-carb since 2/17/04

DG511 wrote:
::: Luna [email hidden]
::
:: writes:
::
::: Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a
::: size 18-20, I've gotten a lot more male attention. In some ways
::: it's great. Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything
::: around tells me it should be great, I should be enjoying the
::: attention, I should be happy that I'm seen as more attractive.
:::
::: But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it.
::: Maybe there's something fundamentally wrong with me, but I am more
::: interested in an exchange of ideas than an exchange of bodily
::: fluids. Why, for example, why is this one particular guy
::: interested in spending time with me when we have absolutely nothing
::: in common? He tells me I'm attractive and sexy, but so what? So
::: are lots of women, women who might actually be interested in jazz
::: or hiking or going to church, but I'm not that woman. And this
::: other guy, I enjoy talking to him, we have great conversations, but
::: then he brings up these little jokey comments about how I won't
::: date him, and I feel uncomfortable, even though I know he's just
::: joking around.
::
:: This . . . is just the way the world works. Why did you lose
:: weight? For yourself, or to get attention from men? I have the
:: impression it was for yourself, so the male attention should be a
:: secondary issue. Be proud of what you've done for your own
:: purposes, and figure that a certain portion of the male population
:: is made up of jerks (same applies to women, of course). The jerks
:: are more likely to make awkward advances. That's what you're
:: encountering.
::
::: I feel . . . I feel like I'm 10 years old again, and I just want to
::: hang out and have fun and play board games or watch tv, without all
::: this sex stuff making everything so complicated. If a guy mentions
::: a movie or a book that I also enjoyed, I can get really excited
::: about talking to him, but if he says something about my physical
::: level of attractiveness, I squirm and get uncomfortable and I feel
::: like the whole conversation was ruined. I end up thinking "Hey,
::: I'm still 20 or 30 pounds overweight, why are you thinking of me
::: that way?"
::
:: What? He's not allowed to consider you attractive until you hit
:: goal? That's [censored]. You are more attractive now. Men are
:: noticing. So are women, but they're not trying to hit on you.
:: You're presumably doing this for your own reasons, for yourself, so
:: this is all secondary. Annoying, yes, but secondary. And a guy can
:: have a brain, share your values, and lust for you at the same time.
:: Some of us actually want that in a man.
::
::: Sometimes I wish I could just stay at home and read all the time
::: and just not deal with people any more.
::
:: Then stay home and read when you can. It sounds like you're
:: overwhelmed by the changes you've gone through and the responses
:: you're getting as a result. So if you need to hunker down and
:: withdraw while you become accustomed to those changes, do so.
::
:: It's not that I'm not sympathetic, but I don't think you're being
:: very realistic here.

Well, what do you expect....she was slightly drunk when she wrote that.

DG511 said:

And a guy can have a brain, share your values, and lust for you at the same
time. Some of us actually want that in a man.

Let's hope so.

In article <[email hidden]>,

Roger Zoul said:

DG511 wrote:

Quoted message said:

:: It's not that I'm not sympathetic, but I don't think you're being
:: very realistic here.

Well, what do you expect....she was slightly drunk when she wrote that.

With a bit more sobriety and perspective this morning, I may have a clue as
to where this discomfort is coming from. It's highly possible that it stems
from my childhood. I developed early and got sexual attention from older
males before I was emotionally ready for it, before I could really
understand it. At the time, I thought getting my period so early and
getting breasts and hips was a punishment for thinking about sex, and I
used to pray and bargain with god that I'd stop thinking about it if he
would just take it away and make me look normal, like the other girls in my
class. I wore baggy clothes and hunched over to look shorter, I crossed my
arms in front of my chest a lot, I dreaded family gatherings because my
relatives would comment on how I was growing so fast and "becoming a woman"
when I didn't want to be a woman, I wanted to be a kid. I still often feel
more like a girl than a woman, like I'm just pretending to be a grown up,
and when men express a normal, healthy, sexual interest in me, even when
they're not being jerks, they're just being charming and flirtatious, I get
my back up and feel like I'm being hunted or something. I say silly,
stupid things to try to distract them. Like last night a really nice guy,
someone I've known for a while and consider a friend, told me I had
beautiful eyes and I asked him "Would you still think they were beautiful
if they popped out of the sockets?" At the time I didn't know why I said
it, but now I think maybe it was to try to send a message: I am not a
sexual being, I do not want to be thought of as attractive, I do not have
what you want, don't look at me "that way."

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Roger Zoul said:

DG511 wrote:

Quoted message said:

:: It's not that I'm not sympathetic, but I don't think you're being
:: very realistic here.

Well, what do you expect....she was slightly drunk when she wrote that.

With a bit more sobriety and perspective this morning, I may have a clue

as

Quoted message said:

to where this discomfort is coming from. It's highly possible that it

stems

Quoted message said:

from my childhood. I developed early and got sexual attention from older
males before I was emotionally ready for it, before I could really
understand it.

<snip>

I hate to say this Luna, but you probably should seek some therapy to help
you put those demons to rest.

Peace,
Pen

Luna wrote:
:: In article <[email hidden]>,
:: "Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote:
::
::: DG511 wrote:
::
::::: It's not that I'm not sympathetic, but I don't think you're being
::::: very realistic here.
:::
::: Well, what do you expect....she was slightly drunk when she wrote
::: that.
:::
:::
::
:: With a bit more sobriety and perspective this morning, I may have a
:: clue as to where this discomfort is coming from. It's highly
:: possible that it stems from my childhood. I developed early and got
:: sexual attention from older males before I was emotionally ready for
:: it, before I could really understand it. At the time, I thought
:: getting my period so early and getting breasts and hips was a
:: punishment for thinking about sex, and I used to pray and bargain
:: with god that I'd stop thinking about it if he would just take it
:: away and make me look normal, like the other girls in my class. I
:: wore baggy clothes and hunched over to look shorter, I crossed my
:: arms in front of my chest a lot, I dreaded family gatherings because
:: my relatives would comment on how I was growing so fast and
:: "becoming a woman" when I didn't want to be a woman, I wanted to be
:: a kid. I still often feel more like a girl than a woman, like I'm
:: just pretending to be a grown up, and when men express a normal,
:: healthy, sexual interest in me, even when they're not being jerks,
:: they're just being charming and flirtatious, I get my back up and
:: feel like I'm being hunted or something. I say silly, stupid things
:: to try to distract them. Like last night a really nice guy, someone
:: I've known for a while and consider a friend, told me I had
:: beautiful eyes and I asked him "Would you still think they were
:: beautiful if they popped out of the sockets?" At the time I didn't
:: know why I said it, but now I think maybe it was to try to send a
:: message: I am not a sexual being, I do not want to be thought of as
:: attractive, I do not have what you want, don't look at me "that
:: way."

Damn. That's some scary [censored].... Such a comment would have sent me
running.....or I would have laughed and wondered what was going on your
head. It guess one would have had to have been there. It's really strange
how our experiences as children follow us around through our adult life.

Seems like you were in a [censored] mood last night....maybe you just need to up
your carbs for a day or two. You have been working out, right? Is it the
dreaded TOM now?

If I recall correctly from your many posts, you are uncomfortable with
calories lower than you have been doing. You have your carbs low already.
I don't remember if your percentage of fat is high. You do lots of
exercise.

It sounds like you are doing just about everything you can do.

Did you ever try the Atkins "Fat Fast?"

http://atkins.com/Archive/2001/12/21-237659.html

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Warning: possibly incoherent rant

Maybe I've been hovering around the same weight for so long because deep
down, I really don't want to lose any more. Forgive me if this rant goes
on too long or makes no sense, I've just come home from a birthday
celebration and I am a bit inebriated.

Since I've lost some weight, and gotten down to a size 10-12 from a size
18-20, I've gotten a lot more male attention. In some ways it's great.
Well, it should be great. Everyone and everything around tells me it
should be great, I should be enjoying the attention, I should be happy

that

Quoted message said:

I'm seen as more attractive.

But to tell you the truth, I really don't think I am enjoying it. Maybe
there's something fundamentally wrong with me, but I am more interested in
an exchange of ideas than an exchange of bodily fluids. Why, for example,
why is this one particular guy interested in spending time with me when we
have absolutely nothing in common? He tells me I'm attractive and sexy,
but so what? So are lots of women, women who might actually be interested
in jazz or hiking or going to church, but I'm not that woman. And this
other guy, I enjoy talking to him, we have great conversations, but then

he

Quoted message said:

brings up these little jokey comments about how I won't date him, and I
feel uncomfortable, even though I know he's just joking around.

I feel . . . I feel like I'm 10 years old again, and I just want to hang
out and have fun and play board games or watch tv, without all this sex
stuff making everything so complicated. If a guy mentions a movie or a
book that I also enjoyed, I can get really excited about talking to him,
but if he says something about my physical level of attractiveness, I
squirm and get uncomfortable and I feel like the whole conversation was
ruined. I end up thinking "Hey, I'm still 20 or 30 pounds overweight, why
are you thinking of me that way?"

Sometimes I wish I could just stay at home and read all the time and just
not deal with people any more.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Penelope Baker said:

I hate to say this Luna, but you probably should seek some therapy to help
you put those demons to rest.

hee!

Is that ok on Atkins...?
At what rate should i lose if it is ok....?
Warren

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Penelope Baker said:

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Roger Zoul said:

DG511 wrote:

Quoted message said:

:: It's not that I'm not sympathetic, but I don't think you're being
:: very realistic here.

Well, what do you expect....she was slightly drunk when she wrote that.

With a bit more sobriety and perspective this morning, I may have a clue

as

Quoted message said:

to where this discomfort is coming from. It's highly possible that it

stems

Quoted message said:

from my childhood. I developed early and got sexual attention from older
males before I was emotionally ready for it, before I could really
understand it.

<snip>

I hate to say this Luna, but you probably should seek some therapy to help
you put those demons to rest.

Peace,
Pen

Hmm. Maybe. I'm hoping just recognizing it for what it is will help. It
makes sense logically that my becoming more attractive from losing weight
would remind me of becoming more attractive from early puberty. I just
need to remind myself that I'm not a kid anymore, that I have more skills
and more power than I did then.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Penelope Baker said:

I hate to say this Luna, but you probably should seek some therapy to help
you put those demons to rest.

hee!

I'm glad my body issues and discomfort give you such amusement.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

warren said:

Is that ok on Atkins...?

10g carbs is too low. Eat more salad veggies, try to bring it up to
at least 20g. You're supposed to keep INCREASING the carbs until you
find your CCLL, not DECREASING them.

As for the calories, Atkins doesn't require counting them, as long as
you eat ONLY enough to satisfy your hunger. That tends to give you
the right number of calories, assuming you're following the rest of
the plan correctly.

Weight loss varies.