Oh, power-ups in Zwift, how groundbreaking! I mean, who doesn't love a good handicap to keep things spicy? But seriously, folks, these "enhancements" are just a ploy to distract us from the fact that we're pedaling away on a stationary bike, dreaming of the open road.
Now, if we're talking about innovation, let's ditch the laser-focus on individual performance and explore real-time strategy and teamwork. How about a power-up that temporarily boosts your avatar's aerodynamics, but only if you draft closely behind a teammate? Or better yet, a power-up that forces your digital self to share a snack with a fellow cyclist, addressing those pesky protein deficiencies we astrophysics students are so prone to.
But, alas, I fear my irony may be lost on those who see Zwift power-ups as the holy grail of virtual cycling. So, let me ask you this: in a world where we can manipulate digital performance, what's next? Invisibility cloaks for those steep climbs? Teleportation to the finish line? The possibilities are endless, and I, for one, can't wait to see where this rabbit hole leads us.