Jokes · Public discussion

You ain't getting any

Started by cyberlegend1994 · · Last activity · 5 posts · 8,130 views

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Jokes
Published
22 August 2006
Last activity
23 November 2008
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cyberlegend1994
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  1. One day, a little boy was on a farm when he said, "Mom, can I have breakfast?" She said, "Not until you do your chores." So the boy is a little mad, and he goes to the chicken coop to feed the chickens, and kicks a chicken. He then goes to the pig pen to feed the pigs, and kicks a pig. He then goes to the barn to milk the cows, and kicks a cow. He goes back to the house for breakfast and all he sees is dry cereal and an apple. The boy said, "What gives?" His mom said, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you aren't getting any eggs. I saw you kick a pig, so you don't get any bacon. I saw you kick a cow, so you aren't getting any milk." Then the boy's dad gets up and kicks the cat. The boy said, "Mom, are you going to tell him, or will I?"

  2. I don't like Chinese food, I own a few. I do like fortune cookies.

  3. mopar said:

    I don't like Chinese food, I own a few. I do like fortune cookies.


    I think the li'l boy meant something else... don't you??

  4. Meh, I get the joke now...🙄 After reading it again!

  5. Potentially and Realistically

    Quoted message said:

    A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the
    difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

    The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she
    would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

    Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
    dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a
    million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

    So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for
    a million dollars?'

    The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to
    fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

    The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt
    for a million dollars?'

    The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a
    heartbeat, are you nuts?'

    The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt
    for a million dollars?'

    'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would
    buy?'

    The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

    His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially'
    and 'realistically'?'

    The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million
    dollars .

    But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a [censored]

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