Yellow Rule Fever aka Lieswynitis. Description Yellow rule fever is a mental disorder that mimics
schizophrenia, and typically target shut-in mental patients and pro cyclist. People with this
disorder often exhibit very strange and shocking behavior. This behavior usually begin irrational
fear of "centerline" rule most commonly associated with cycling scene at smaller local budgeted
races, also known as "bread and butter", or "grass roots" cycling.
Occurrence The disease usually occurs in professional cyclist, but has been known to occur in fat
masters. The most recent documented occurrence in the United States was on 12-19-02 and was
exhibited by a residence of Iowa. A variety of vectors are responsible for the disease and it is no
surprise the Mid-West was the location of the most recent case. Examining the site revealed all the
predictable signs. Yellow rule fever requires a pro cyclist out of touch with reality, a cold
climate, access to the inter-net, an out of whack computer time to training time ratio, and a
previous traumatic experience with a roadway centerline. The first signs began when promotors tried
to hold races open that have been going on for several years without much financial support.
Adverse Reactions Reactions to yellow rule fever tend to be mild, but the object of the paranoia is
often strong and hard to break. Irrational fears or competing in races with a "centerline rule" or
inability to ride by one self without crossing the line for no reason is the first sign. This person
will often threaten to boycott races, and tell others to do the same. This person's paranoia will
lead you to believe a four corner criterium is better than a road race with a centerline. They
should be considered dangerous, and insane.
Precautions and Contraindications DO NOT confront this person. Do not try and convince this person
the yellow thing is OK. They must work this out for themselves, or stick to the "pro" big dollar
races. The best cure is often to get the patient out of the house and away from the computer, but
without mentioning the word "Centerline". Next a steady diet of work in the real world combined with
two or three weeks of community service for a local race promoter. At the end of each work day one
should hit them in the head with a crank arm puller, and have them repeat the phrase "A Road Race
with a centerline rule is better than no race at all". For extreme cases you can convince the person
to confront their fears by putting on a race with a centerline rule, but also a "big" cash prize.
This will not cure the patient, but the back peddling is fun to watch.
RVD Racer of many fine races with centerlines rules, and a love for the promoters who put them on
Thank you.