whitney said:I've always had these weird moments where my vision goes
funny - like I'm completely detached from myself, like I'm
watching my world on video. They last no longer than 10
seconds, but when they happen I can't move or gauge where
things are in relation to me. Nothing feels right.
My first inclination was that you are speaking of
dissociation. Here's a quick link that came up when
searching for the term:
panicanxietydisorder.org.au7 Dissociation%20syOpen ↗
mptoms.htm
Whether or not it is in fact dissociation I don't know, but
that is the word I've used to describe my experiences.
I think I know the feeling of which you speak. I've felt it
in varying degrees. For instance, sometimes I've felt the
sensation of my perspective shooting into space, occurring
in under 2 seconds, then pausing in space for a brief moment
where I can feel my body wayyyyyy down somewhere as if I
were in space looking down on it, then I get sucked back in.
But lately it has been like you described.
It seems to always begin with vision shifting. It's not like
things change color or anything weird like that, it's more
like the way you are interpreting the visual information
you're receiving changes perspectives. The picture usually
offsets very slightly for me, not quite blurry, but sort've
like the two pictures from the eyes just kind of shift or
fuzz, or maybe it even becomes sharper than normal, I'm not
sure how to describe it. Then the consciousness shifts and
it no longer looks like you are just looking at things. It
suddenly feels like you are looking at the way you are
looking at things. What I mean is, you are no longer looking
at a scene through your eyes, and using that information to
make it feel like you are in a body. You suddenly kind of
detach and don't feel like you are in a body.
About not moving or being able to figure out things in
relation to you, I usually just ride it out and that returns
very quickly. But when it occurs in a social setting, such
as if I'm seated at a formal dinner party and am in the
middle of a conversation with someone, then it can become
distressing. I have to attempt to maintain my normal
interaction, while I kind of depart the body that is having
the conversation. This can cause me a little scare, and a
very short moment of panic inside my mind, but then I ride
it out, return to my normal perspective and continue like
nothing occurred.
Whether or not the specific thing I am talking about is what
you've experienced I don't know. But I think that it is all
related, and is all due to a momentary altered
consciousness. I'm doing informal research into the subject
and have done much experimentation. One thing I can tell you
is that it can be scary as hell, but you always seem to
return back to what we consider normal consciousness.
Similar states of consciousness to that of which you
described can be felt during the transition to and from
sleep, as well as during a vivid dream. While not everyone
has episodes of this occurring during the day, everyone does
detach from their normal perspective when they go to sleep,
so it is something everyone is capable of. You can think of
it as a type of dream or sleep state, that takes place
during the day.
One thing that raises my curiosity though is the fact that
you have epilepsy. I'm wondering if the increased frequency
of your episodes is due to the medication you are taking for
the epilepsy, or the epilepsy itself.
It's an interesting connection since I've done
experimentation with using flashing lights to aid in the
alteration of consciousness, something that might induce a
seizure in a photosensitive epileptic person.
I don't believe that there is much of a physical danger
involved with experiencing such altered states of
consciousness. I might change my mind on that, but I don't
have any solid evidence yet. Just relax when you it occurs,
and enjoy the odd nature of the experience.
If it turns out that I'm wrong and you're experiencing
something specific to epilepsy or the medications you're on
then please update me with the info you learn. I'd very
interested to find out what is going on in your case. I'm
also curious about details of your mental health. Are you
overly stressed?
-
This stuff must sound like insanity to some people, or some
kind of brain defect. If someone reading this has never
experienced such states of consciousness, where you become
detached from your normal perspective, then I have an
experiment for you to try. You should probably do this when
no one else is home, or else you might look pretty silly. 🙂
Position yourself in front of a large mirror at a distance
where you can see your full face and at least parts of your
shoulders. It should be a comfortable distance as if you
were standing in front of someone else.
Normally when you view yourself in the mirror you will look
at it from the perspective that you are looking at your own
reflection. This is the normal state of consciousness. But
you can alter this perspective.
Stare at your reflection, instead of looking at the eyes,
look into them. Continue staring until you forget that you
are looking at a mirror. Then pretend that you are actually
standing in front of another person. Begin talking, or
singing, or whatever you want. Continue doing this without
thought, so that you kind of enter a state where you don't
feel connected to the words you are speaking. Singing works
best since you can sing a memorized song and do it without
conscious attention, it will happen automatically.
Now that you're detached from your words, and staring at
someone else in the mirror, your perspective suddenly shifts
out of your body. This is a similar feeling to what I was
describing and what I believe Whitney was experiencing. If
this doesn't work during the day time, then do it late at
night, a little bit after your normal time of going to
sleep. This will make it much easier to change your
consciousness. If you become scared by the feeling of
leaving your body and no longer being connected to the image
of your personal identity, then don't worry, you can stop
the experiment at any time. Just look away from the mirror,
regain focus on the normal perspective, and you'll instantly
return to your normal first-person waking consciousness.
If you are successful in intentionally experiencing
dissociation then it should be some indication to the fact
that it is a normal function of every human. Some people
just experience it more often than others, due to many
factors such as drugs, stress, etc. I suppose for people who
are afraid to face painful situations they might use it as
an escape mechanism much as cutters use pain to numb
themselves.
